[laurenlaura]

My boyfriend has recently told me he is a compulsive gambler and has been for over 20 years, he has no savings but is only in about £1000 debt which could be easily paid off in a couple of weeks. This all came to light as he has been cheating on me for the past few months with his ex, and I couldn’t forgive him but he gave all the skeletons in his closet to explain slightly and help me trust and understanding. His gambling is a self-harming tatic as he has no self respect or worth due to an incident which happened when he was a child, which is a life sentence for him. He has given me his card and I am now giving him “pocket money” in the short term, he has more or less dismissed counsellers or support groups as he doesn’t want to disclose to trigger of the problem, which was the rape. I have told him he can not do this and we cannot have a future together if I have to babysit him all my life, to which he replies that instead of him going gambling alone, I could go with him to stop him from blowing all the money but when he wins some we leave. He doesn’t compare it to alcoholism which is the only thing that I can and says he doesn’t think he can cut off cold turkey. This has been going on so long I just don’t know what I can do to help, he’s lied to me about so many things and he was my best friend and is my best friend so I can’t abandon him but I don’t know what to do! I’m not a therapist, I’m a young woman with the best intentions but I don’t see how going with him would help? Maybe in the short term but he needs help and doesn’t seem to know what he can even do to help himself.

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