[iluvsuperman1986]

For the last few years I have had a serious addiction to scratch offs. Recently, I have gotten to the point where all of my money goes to trying for that “big win” to get me out of trouble. I have only sunk further. My rent is not paid, I am -thousand in my bank account, and I am facing criminal charges for check kiting. All of this was done to support my habit. I have been married for six years (on 6/9) and my husband has no idea that this has been going on. We have two small children. I have completely destroyed their lives with this. I have borrowed my max from friends and family and I know that I will have to face the music on the criminal aspect. I just cant quit. I know what I am doing is wrong, I even cry for hours after spending all the money because I told myself that I wouldn’t do this anymore. I am about to lose everything that I am for what I have been doing. If I lost my husband and my children I would have no reason anymore. I know my husband’s temperment and as soon as he finds out just how much I have lost and how much I still owe he is definitely going to leave me. I can’t say that I blame him either. I feel so lost, and that I will never get away from this life. A few months ago I was doing good, I had every check written caught up and wasn’t buying aS much. Now we are out of money again and the check writing and gambling is getting worse. I know it is not the solution to our problems but I can’t seem to help myself. By spending as much money as I do, I am robbing my family of fun and activities. Maybe even a roof over our heads. I need help, it has to stop now……

[Anonymous]

Hi Iluvsuperman:  I’m so sorry to hear of your situation … you have come to the right place.  I know your situation seems hopeless, but there is a way for you to stop digging the hole you’re in.  For a start, consider barriers that you can put in place to stop yourself.  For example, don’t carry cash, credit cards or debit cards.  I know this sounds extreme, in fact, I used the think that the idea of having no access to money was ludicrous.  But it’s absolutely doable and comes with a great feeling of freedom.  The second suggestion is going to involve coming clean with your husband.  I know, it’s a terrifying thought, but he is going to find out one way or another.  Rather now than later when the situation is much more dire than now.  He may be more supportive than you give him credit for.  Finally, seek help from the resources in your area.  Go to a GA meeting if there’s one in your area, post on this forum often, join the chat rooms when they’re open, contact the live helpline … talk it out.  It really helps.  I wish you the very best in this journey.  It will require a super woman effort.  RG

[stupidgirl34]

Iluvsuperman,
There are a number of things that I learned in hindsight since I have stopped gambling..
1. Your not alone. There are so many people just like you. Regardless of what you have done or how low you have sank there is someone outhere either at a GA meeting or on this site who has been that low or done those things. I read things all the time and think, wow that’s me! I find comfort in that.
2. My dirty little secret wasn’t so secret after all. Turns out it was just the secret no one talked about but a number of my closest friends and relatives knew.. although most of them didn’t know how bad it was. I just thought I was fooling everyone. I was wrong.
The best part about the folks here is that there is no judgment and you will be supported.
Goodluck.
 I will make this work!

[bettie]

Hi Iluv,
Run, not walk, to the closest GA meeting you can get to! They have the resources to help you with your financial and legal issues. They can do a special workshop – pressure relief-just for you, help is there you only have to reach out.
It’s your addiction that tells you that you can’t stop. Guess what? It’s WRONG!
You just have to want recovery bad enough. You are WORTH IT!
bettie

[cat438]

Hi iluv – I hope that you come back and read some of the posts.  I can remember when I first started on GT it was like a life line to come here and get posts from others that understood how we felt.  You can do it iluv and it is by just taking it one day at a time.  You have made the first step by coming here.  I know that I would come to this site and read the stores of others before I actually registered, and then after I made my first post I went on a gambling binge.  It was the panic in me thinking about never gambling again.  I know longer think about never gambling again – I think about getting through this one day at a time!!!  Welcome to recovery iluv.One day at a time my sweet lord…

[alwaysthefish]

One book I would recommend to everyone is: The WIllpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal
http://www.amazon.com/The-Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Matters/dp/1583334386/ref=sr_1_fkmr1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1370459640&sr=1-1-fkmr1&keywords=willpower+kelly+mc
An amazing book by all accounts. I often thought about my addiction and reasons behind it. This woman explains it in details. I knew or at least suspected many of the things she writes about, but she presents it eloquently, it’s all logical, makes a lot of sense and it is easy to understand.
Make sure you read this book. Audio version available as well at http://www.audible.com
 If you dine with the devil, bring a long spoon

[Author]

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