- This topic has 20 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 1 month ago by Seanraj4731.
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8 December 2019 at 6:03 am #53646konj1978Participant
Hello
Please help me with some advice…I ned to say the true, bad, tragic, terreble true and admit all that happened again, but i cannt. I am feeling big guilt and shame. I have terreble feelibgs and bad thoughta.
I have seriously gambling problems. I decided to stop with gambling right two years ago. I admitted all to my wife and some people close to me. I stoped with gambling and started with therapy, i received professional help in one institution. We had also some pland how to repay my debts that was very high. All was great in 3-4 months and i started with gambling again. Mostly because i didnt had so much knowledge about my problems and disease. I made new debts and couldt admit my problems. But when i came in situation that i couldt pay my debts, i admited all again to my wife. I received help one more time and started with tberaapy again. It was right one year ago.All was fine again but i was so stupid and started with gambling again 5-6 months ago again. I hate myself and i am feeling vwry bad. In this 5-6 months with gambling i stopped and started again several times. Mostly because i cannt simply admit all again and because i have new debts. I am afraid that this was too much and that i will lose all now. But i can not live with this anymore. I am on gambling therapy again and didnt made gambling 3 weeks now but dont know what to do now. Can not repay my new debts, can not admit my problems again.
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8 December 2019 at 6:39 am #53647Ryan123678Participant
It’s good that you have stopped. Is there a free debt management service where you are from.
Maybe consider going back to the institution you got help from last time.
I’m really struggling at the moment aswell after 3 weeks. Keep coming back on here you can do this -
8 December 2019 at 8:07 am #53648Seanraj4731Participant
Everyone situation is unqiue and different yet with the same one result: losses. We have to face the harsh reality as i am now i know i cannot get back all the money i lost in all those roulette machines i played on for the past five years losing well over 400k i saying tht with easy but brother it pains me to know i lost the biggest asset of my life my son. My wife broke up with me becuz of this gambling lifestyle i had and took full custody of my son. I am staying strong for myself and know one day he will come bk to me. Despite what i did to them i stole told many lies abt the addiction. I still paid the bills and put food on the table but the debts mounted more and more. Thankfully i am alive after i crashed my vehicle and the insurance paid me $26k i am a new man on day 3 without gambling. I vow from this moment to clear up those debts and make a fresh start. Road to recovery starts now brother. Stay positive we can do this together by uplifting words. I am looking forward. Moving my mind away from those devices i am free i am going enjoy life more and more now. It is my time to help others and give back. Continue to stay on the forum. To be truthful i was on and off this website since last year to now and friday 06 dec 2019 i decided to explore it and i discovered alot now. Now i got a platform to help others in this addiction and to give words to encourage to fight the goodfight in the battlefield of our minds o truly set free of ourselves from the chains of mental slavery. I applaud u brother for making the first step on the road to recovery. Keep on it. Keep focus. Thank you.
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8 December 2019 at 9:46 am #53649SteevParticipant
The fact that you have stopped for several months at a time – shows that you can stop gambling. It is staying stopped which is the problem for a lot of us.
Relapsing back to gambling is part of having a gambling problem – so I am surprised that a therapist was not aware of this and was not looking out for this.
I would consider talking to your family and therapist about what you have been doing. The actual gambling is part of the problem, but so is feeling shame and thus not being able to talk about it. The more others are aware that you are in danger of relapse, the more they can help prevent that happening.
I wonder what barriers you have in place to stop going back to gambling again. Is someone else handling your finances – if not why not? Have you looked at what triggers you to gamble and then talked about this in therapy and find strategies to deal with it? Have you looked at planning your time and using it in other ways so that you are busy and less likely to respond to the urge to gamble?
You said: “Mostly because i cannt simply admit all again and because i have new debts. I am afraid that this was too much and that i will lose all now. But i can not live with this anymore.”
Neither you or I can predict how others will react to the news that you have gambled again – but the stress of keeping that secret is enough to cause you to continue and that you cannot do. You say you cannot live with this – if you are even thinking about suicide then you need to talk to someone, your family, your therapist or a helpline. Think about it – if you end your life, all that you are now keeping secret will come out – they will all know and it will be too late to help you.
Put as much effort (if not more) into your recovery as you did into your gambling. I wish you well.
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8 December 2019 at 8:32 pm #53650konj1978Participant
Thank you for your support and nice words.
Yes, life is difficult, but my final decision is that i will fight and try to win this addiction. In last 2-3 years i dont enjoy gambling and i recognized my addiction and all problems, but mostly huge debts made that i was gambling. Now its clear for me that i can not fix my financial problems with gambling. I have now one theory about that reason and i trust in this theory.
I am not so bad tipster for sports vettinf
g. I know also that luck is variable. I know that i have good strategies. With all this i know that i theory i could be maybe successful bettor. But there is one big differance in my belief. Now i knom and i am aware that i am addict and ill and that any new try for gambling is not worth. I know that each time i will finish in same aituation.
No, i dont want it. I will collect power to change my life.Tomorrow i will explain all again to my wife and some people close to ne. No matter consequents, it can happened that tbis time i lose my family, my wife and childern, but i lost them long time ago with my bad decisions. But first of all i want new life, or my old one i had many years ago..I have now totally different opinion about my economy and debts. I dont care about money. I dont need anything big, sone foos and few beers, enough for me…Few years ago when i was most active with gambling, if someone asked me what should i do if i win 1 mil USD, I
i know what should be my answer. I should just continue with gamblind.
Due all of this i just decided to stop and live rest of my life with small things. One day by one day. Thats all. -
8 December 2019 at 10:40 pm #53651CraigMac6Participant
I’m so glad you are here. I’m also glad you made a decision to speak with your wife about your relapse. You will feel such relief after that conversation. I recently had that conversation with my finance and thankfully she stuck by my side. Before I had the conversation I asked God for the strength to be honest, I asked Him to give me another chance with my fiancé. The power of prayer brother! Maybe this could help you.
It sounds like you are a sports bettor. I, too, believe my strategies are good and I’m good at identifying winning teams, that’s not the problem. The problem is we need the action. We don’t know when to stop. We have to bet game after game after game. The more games we bet the more likely we will lose. I’ve just come to the conclusion I’m powerless over gambling.
I’m so happy for your decision to be here. You’ll be a much better father without gambling in your life. Stay the course and keep coming here daily.
Lets do this! -
9 December 2019 at 2:13 pm #53652konj1978Participant
thank you.. this is day before my big new decision. Tomorrow i will admit all to my wife, its 3th time in last two years that i do this but i think its better to do then never to do this.. I feel it will be last time, i am sure about that actually, , maybe because she will left me with our kids ( or better to say ask me to left their home because i gambled all i had and home is their, not mine), or last time because i know and feel that this is last time i will be in this situation. One is clear, i will never make gambling again. I will delete all from my life that have something with gambling to do. I will delete all sources and internett things that can close me to gambling again, tro to not be in touch with people around me that have something wiyh gamblong or talk about that. Actually all this osnt necesserry, this is my decision. I will again change my life. This time i need to work much more to not think about financial and debts even i eill need to wotk at least 7-10 years to repay all of them…But i dont think about money anymore… I can live mostly without mpney. I tried this in last few mounths and found that i dont need money, or something small money, sof course after i pay all for debts for house, kids and family. For me its enough few dollars sometimes for few beers. I dont dream and think about mpney anymore. With this i am sure this time i will kill my gambling addiction. I am on therapy also and it hrlps a lott to talk with people that have similar history and same problems.
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9 December 2019 at 7:35 pm #53653Seanraj4731Participant
Yes i agree it is not about the money. Its all about your mind brother.
. Start a journal on being thankful. You are an amazing person. You shall rise above this. Be addicted to focusing on recovery. Observe your mind. Look at your thoughts. Delete the thoughts that is not productive. Reboot, factory restore reset renew your mind towards seeing your life as value. And time spend saving others by helping them and yourself in the process. Be Thankful. gambling is a big fat lie.
Stay positive bro. We are here to encourage and uplift each other.
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10 December 2019 at 4:09 pm #53654konj1978Participant
Today is big day in my life. Today i will admit all to my wife again. This will be 3th time and i am not sure what will be happened. I was thinking about this conversation in last few months but was not ready, couldnt simply, it was stronger then me. But in all last 3-4 was days i was only wrked on this conversation. I know that i dont have nothing to lose, because i lost it all long time ago. I am reafy for her any decision, so there is also posibility that i will need to left our home tonight and sleep on street, or in best case, in the car. I dont have any place to go, dont have any money…But i am ready to fight against my ego and f… personality and this addiction…I will win, not addiction…
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10 December 2019 at 5:18 pm #53655Seanraj4731Participant
I believe in you brother you gonna overcome this obstacle. Keep a positive attitude despite the losses. You gonna be a victor. It takes alot of encourage to admit you messed up and you know what you will look back at this and you gonna tell yourself i made a good decision to come clean. You are an amazing person.you gonna rise above this. Observe your words and what you create for yourself. Focus on your self worth. Be grateful for your life brother. No matter what is the outcome be headstrong. It pains i know i am in the same situation where my wife filed for divorce after i slipped up for the 3rd time. I wasnt honest and i am facing the consequences of it. I am hurting even tho i went back gambling after being served with the divorce papers. I didnt have the mental ability to see that gambling is a lie.
Thankful i am GF after 5 days now and still fighting the good fight. Thank you for sharing. Keep posting brother.
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10 December 2019 at 6:47 pm #53656konj1978Participant
Thank you Seanraj,
i wish you too all the best !!! Be ppsitive man !! -
10 December 2019 at 8:09 pm #53657Seanraj4731Participant
Brother we got to appreciate the simple things of life.
Thank you for replying. Continue to focus on recovery be encourage only you and you alone gonna make it happen. Rooting for you brother.
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12 December 2019 at 7:45 am #53658konj1978Participant
Hello all good people!!!
I am new man, stronger then ever !!!
Almost 4 weeks since i stopped with gambling. Two days ago since i admited all about my new gambling and new debts to my wife and some people close to me. Was ready to lose all of them, but not, i am getting support, but its not so easy !!
I will explain all soon in one of my next topics but i am very tired now.. it tok my all energy… -
12 December 2019 at 9:14 am #53659SteevParticipant
It was good to hear your news and that you have been brave enough to tell your wife and others. It will be a weight off your mind and will allow you to be honest from now on. Being deceitful only adds to the shame we feel and gives us another excuse to place a bet.
I hope you can build on this by allowing your wife or someone close that you trust, to handle your finances until you feel stronger. You may want to point your wife to the friends and families part of this forum where she can read posts from others who are living with problem gamblers and can find strategies to help both herself and indirectly your recovery.
Keep posting – I will be looking out for more from you.
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12 December 2019 at 10:33 am #53660Seanraj4731Participant
Thank you for posting man. I applaud you for being honest to those close to you especially your wife. Stay positive brother. Keep on keeping on. Congrats on your 4 weeks GF. I am on my 1st week. Staying strong. Keeping a positive mindset. Being aware of my thoughts. Being on this forum sharing my insights. It helps. Watching soldiers of self mastery videos on youtube. You got this bro. You are an amazing person. Thank you.
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25 December 2019 at 7:42 am #53661konj1978Participant
Hello its almost 6 weeks since i am living without gambling. I am living my new life and hate everything about sports and sports gambling. I dont follow ssports news and sport and i dont even think about gambling. Didnt had so much urge this time but i knot it will come and try to take me away again. I am ready and just try to be strong to this battle !!!. My wife gave me absoluteluly last chance to save my family and i will fight this time as never before. I dont have solutions to solve my financial problens and debts this time because my wife doesnt want, or simply due our childerns simply can not help me with financial help and make so big risk again. But i will find something. I am starting to feel preasure because banks are calling me and asking money. I cannt pay all that and try to get some help. But to be honest, i dont care about debts and banks so much this time. I just have full focus on my recovery. I dont want to gamble again!! Never!! I will do my all best to not to place any bet in rest of my life!! I hope that God will help me and safe both me and my fanily and all people in this world!!! I have it really wonderful with my family again. Life is wonderful!!
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1 January 2020 at 11:35 am #53662konj1978Participant
Happy and Gambling Free New 2020 Year to all people here!!!
More then 7 weeks since i stopped with gambling and turned a new site of my life. That was real and biggest decision in my life. I have it wonderful and fantastic now and enjoy really each secunde of my life with my family!!!
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1 January 2020 at 11:49 am #53663Seanraj4731Participant
Congrats and please continue on your pathway of self worth. Thank you and do have a wonderful GF life and year 2020!
7 weeks is great continue doing what you are doing for those 7 wks onwards. Congrats -
1 January 2020 at 12:02 pm #53664i-did-itParticipant
Well done Kon
A gamble free life is a much happier life for us.
Well done on putting so much effort into stopping .
Happy New Year. -
12 January 2020 at 8:01 am #53665konj1978Participant
Its 8 weeks since i stopped gambling and started new life. It worth because life is too good and its too bad to lose any moment on gambling.
I had few big urges in last days and it only confirm favtum i learned before from another people fighting gambling problems. Most critical moments when you want to quit gambling addiction are after 2 months, after 6 months and after 2 years that is big and final exam in this process.
So i successfully passed my first exam after two months. It was not so easy and had a lot
t of urges and challenges, especially in last days. This mostlu because i had a lott of free from my job. Bur from today it shiuld be easier. Ifts full focus on ecovery and decision that i will never in my life place any bet and nothing to do with gambling. I will fight!! -
12 January 2020 at 11:19 am #53666Seanraj4731Participant
I am happy to read your progress man. Keep on keeping on. The battle field of the mind and brother you are in the for front. Use your defensives and keep your self alive for whats it worth you are doing well thus far. Look out for mines trap where you may slip. The electric pulses to trigger that urge. Keep your mind focus on positive attributes keep pushing forward. You are an amazing person. You are a victor. I applaud your efforts to stay on top man. You are gonna be victorious in life which is worth living GF.
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