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    • #54123

      I have found my gambling to be a form of self harm and self defeat. It’s also selfish behavior but because it’s an addiction I was blind to how it had such a grip on me. I believed that I could control it and that I could win my money back each time I would lose in the casino. I lived in a dream world that I would win a big one and shower my friends and family with gifts and luxury trips ecetra….Now it’s 2020 and I’ve been gambling off and on for the past decade without the big win and I have realized that I was living in a dream world each time I would gamble. I realized that I wanted to escape into my dream world because I’m unhappy with what I do have in life. I realized that I lost a good lot of money by not being happy with what’s here in front of me right now and not thinking that I measure up in some way. I also realized that I need to end my relationship with gambling because I’m hurting myself and though I haven’t caused harm to others I have had suicidal thoughts because of the gambling addiction. I want to connect with others who have the same addiction as me. I’m currently going to GA meetings but I know that’s not enough because I did that before and still gambled. I want this time to be different than before because I really need to stop gambling.

    • #54124

      Good to see that you have not given up trying and that you are back with GA. You say you know it’s not enough because you went before and still gambled.

      I went to GA for several years and kept “slipping.” I also realised that GA was not enough for me and found a counsellor who helped enormously. I also decided to put as much effort into my recovery as I did into my gambling. For me that meant going to GA more often, ensuring I was busy so that I had no time to gamble and finding out as much as possible about behavioural problems and how I can change me behaviour.

      After some years, I stopped going to GA but kept up with the counselling and the research and eventually trained as a counsellor myself. I have been gamble free for over 10 years now and nearer 20 if you exclude a few silly “slips.”

      If you are in the UK you may be able to access free counseling through Gamcare – check out their website. I wish you well.

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