15 August 2010 at 10:45 pm #16806have2changeParticipant
Ok, so this is my first post. Just a little about me. I am 35, and a single father. I have had a battle with gambling for about the last 15 years. It has affected me adversely in the past but never to the point it has over the last 10 months. It’s been destructive to the point where I have gambled away all the money I’ve earned, my tax return, and any savings that I had. The reality is, I was at the store last night with my son, and he saw some lightning mcqueen sunglasses. They were 2 for $10 and I knew I only had a little bit of money for the next week and I could not buy them. This made me so sick to my stomach. I make almost 80k per year and I can’t buy my son a lousy pair of drug store sunglasses. I am on vacation this week, and have a lot of things that I wanted to do with my son. I’ll be lucky if we can do any of them. This is why I am writing. I know that I need to get help. I know that I need to stop. The problem is, I feel that it’s easy right now because I have no money, and I I have my son with me. I don’t have the urge. I’m worried as to what I’m going to do when I get my next check, and I don’t have my son. Will I be going right back to the casino? I know that I’m not supposed to. This disease has a hold over me like never before. I was always able to pay my bills, and take care of the things I needed to. It has now gotten to the point where, I’m behind on almost every bill, and has consumed so much of my life that I don’t even go out with friends anymore. I guess I mostly stay at home because I’m too embarrassed to tell people that I have no money to go out. Nobody knows exactly what I make, but i make more than most of my friends. It’s crazy that I don’t have enough money to go out and have a drink. I don’t have enough money to do anything. It’s been three days since my last bet. I intend to make it my last. I need to stop lying to everybody in my life, and to my self. I want to stop. I need to stop. I believe I can stop. Now I just need to do it. If anybody has some words of encouragement, I would be happy to hear them.
15 August 2010 at 11:25 pm #16807pParticipant
You have come to the right place, congratulations, it is a great first step to changing your life.. maybe start by reading some threads and you will quickly see how you relate and we are all in the same boat in this, it is tough but it can be done, look up GA in your area and try to get to at least one meeting a week.. join the groups here, carry little cash or cards and try to ban from casino.. one step at a time, one day at a time it can be done when you get the urge do something else and keep doing that, urges will pass eventually no matter how strong they seem they will go away.. keep posting and reading you are not alone here.
P – Living and Learning
16 August 2010 at 12:01 am #16808therunnerParticipant
you have to take it one day at a time. That was my biggest problem but if you take it slowly do your best stay in touch with this website or GA you should make progress. Best of luck I make good money and yet my head is wrecked by this **** it never goes away but you can fight it on a daily basis
16 August 2010 at 1:56 am #16809AnonymousGuest
*****! The first thing to do is to ban at the casinos. It was the only thing that stopped me from going. I didn’t have the self control to choose not to go so I had the choice taken away from me. It’s the best thing I could have done. Do I miss going? sure do….but what I don’t miss is that long drive home after I’ve lost the rent money. Also, join in the chats as much as possible. Lots of wisdom on this site.If you are heading in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns!
18 August 2010 at 5:38 am #16810recklesskParticipant
I know exactly what you are going through. I’m almost in your exact same shoe. I’m 34, but not married and do not have kids, but I’m making good money, but this disease is keeping me from making major advancements in my life. I wanted to get married and to purchase a house, but gambling has prevented me from doing that. I make about 80-90K a year as well and it kills me everytime I think about how much i’ve lossed. My last wager was about 45 days ago and even though I stopped for the moment, I know that the urge will continue probably till the day I die. I recovered from my last relapse, but I know will get tempted to go back to my old bad habits of gambling. I believe it is a diease that can not be cured, but it could be surpressed.
These were the steps that I took, but it is surely not full proof.
1. Started to attend a GA meetings once a week for the past 6 weeks. It is great to be around people that know what you are going though.
2. Admitted to my GF that I was a compulsive gambler and that she ***** to monitor my finances. Give your wife or someone that you really trust to oversee your finances.
3. Banned myself from Casinos that are local.
4. Stopped watching any sports related tv or games (If this applies to you)
5. Spend more time with family and friends so that you do not get the urge to gamble.
I noticed that when I did those things my life improved dramatically. This diease is not easy to remedy, but once you start to accept and admit that you are in fact a compulsive gambler you will start the healing process.
18 August 2010 at 1:00 pm #16811paul315Participant
Originally posted by have2change
Ok, so this is my first post. …
… It’s been three days since my last bet. I intend to make it my last. …
Good morning Have2, my name is Larry and I am a Compulsive Gambler, my last bet was August 13, 2009. I would like to add my welcome to you to the GT community, it is a place you can find help and the encouragement that you are looking for. You will also find the friendship of others that have experienced all the things that you have and have felt all the same hurt and guilt – you are not alone in your trouble.
Well done one the gambling free time that you have accumulated, and on your time in recovery; if your work at it and do not waver in your resolve, these days will remain equal and you can continue to not gamble when you get more funds and when yous son has gone home.
Use the time that your compulsive gambling has given you by taking all from you to set up barriers and to begin working on making changes in your life. This time that you now have is the only good thing that gambling has given you in the past 10 months, and perhaps in the past 15 years when you weigh things out. When we are down and out is the best time to start straightening out our lives, when thing are going a little better we will not have the "have2change" feeling.
During your vacation time with your son you do not have to spend money to enjoy being together; you can not buy a bond with him at any cost anyway, even it it wold only be an attempt to strengthen an existing one. Enjoy your time together, there is nature to see and free cultural events that are available in most areas. You might have to park a few blocks away on the streets to not pay parking or have to not eat in the food courts, but families do enjoy each other every day without spending a cent.
Keep coming back, make your first post the first of many; keep your last bet your very last bet.
God’s speed, use your Higher Power to strengthen and guide you. Enjoy the time with your son and be grateful that you addiction has not taken him away from you; and be aware that it can happen, money loss is not the only consequence of compulsive gambling — it can take all that is of any value to us.
"Day Two Is Another Day Behind" – With the help of a Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, I will continue to be gambling free.– 8/18/2010 1:30:20 PM: post edited by paul315.
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