15 August 2013 at 5:17 pm #9216bdesai1986Participant
Everyday I wake up and think to myself how the hell did I turn up like this. I let gambling take over my life. I was a happy person before gambling took over my life. Its difficult for me to think what I was doing before I turned 21. That was 7 years ago and I know I wasn’t a CG. I did play in house games but that was once in a blue moon. I did other things to occupy my time, but now its just a blur. It was 7 years ago, but it seems like its was ages ago. I know taking this a day at a time is the right process for me to get over the ugres of gambling and controlling it. But its killing me to know that I turned out this way. I want to get my life back on track, and not feel like a loser everyday. I should look at the good side of things but its hard to do, I have a few good friends, I have my family, and I have a job (which pays terrible and I can’t seem to find another job in my field). I guess the one thing that kills me is that, I don’t have her (gf/ex-gf). She is a big part of my life. We still talk here and there but its not the same anymore. It hurts to know that this disease pushed her away from me, the real me.
But this isn’t the basis of my post today, this is just how I feel and its sucks!!!! The thing is its been a week since I gambled and I’m proud of that. What I’m trying to figure out is what are my triggers that make me want to gamble. Monday and Tuesday I had no urges but yesterday I kept thinking about gambling and fought it off, by going to the gym and keeping myself busy and being broke was a plus to push me away from gambling. But when I drink on the weekends with friends, you know the usual partying and having fun something triggers my urges for gambling. I know alcohol kind of help encourage my urges but theres more to it. When I’m sober I get urges as well. I just want to figure out what triggers this so I can control it. This weekend I am going to a friend’s bday party and will limit myself on drinks but mentally I want to stay strong to fight the urge, if it occurs. If I can get past this weekend, I know I can fight this habit. I just hope to have a better future.forgive but never forget16 August 2013 at 5:46 am #9217lizbeth4Participant
Hi bdesail986, You are not a loser!! We never set out to become a cg! For me it was the inability to cope with the stresses in my life. I used gambling as a way (destructive) to escape. Be proud of yourself for being gamble free for a week. Have you thought of going to GA meetings? Just a suggestion. I found them to be very helpful. Also, if you could have someone you trust take care of your finances, bank and atm cards. Limit you access to cash. Keep posting and reading threads here. Keeping busy helped me also. Stay strong!!Seize all the good things in life16 August 2013 at 8:11 am #9218DuncKeymaster
Hi bdesail, A Warm Welcome to Gambling Therapy
Having found us you have also found a diverse community who can help and support you on your recovery journey.
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and non-judgemental environment and by reading others stories am sure you will see that you are very much not alone in this addiction
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To chat with others in real time you may wish to make use of the support groups, the ***** of these groups are advertised under "What’s on and When" or click here to see the weekly group schedule.
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25 year poker player, 25 year Hierarchal fool, 25 year ego boost… Intellectualisation was my down fall, simplicity was my salvation16 August 2013 at 1:50 pm #9219danchaserParticipant
Lizbeth4 made a good point. GA is a good start for you if you haven’t been yet. Even though it’s not the end-all-beat-all cure (for me, anyway), it’s a good place to go when you’re feeling down about your addiction because you will be surrounded by people who understand and can relate. And surprisingly – for being such degenerate and selfish people that gamblers are (wink) – you’ll find some of the most eager to help and concerned people you’ll ever meet there. No one can give better advice to a compulsive gambler than a long-time recovering compulsive gambler.
Good job and keep abstaining!
16 August 2013 at 4:35 pm #9220charlesModerator
***** bdesai and welcome.
I see you are already getting some good suggestions and i’m sure you will continue to get a lot of support here.
It’s a good idea that you are going to limit your drinking this weekend, alcohol can weaken anyones resolve. There are a few things you can put in place though for whaen you go drinking with friends.
How much do you drink? I don’t need to know the answer to that question but I’m sure you8 know roughly how much money you need to cover your beers/drinks. Thats all you need to carry when you go out – having "spare" money or ATM cards "just in case" allows us to gamble. We can choose not to have those things before we leave the house.
Also, have you told your drinking friends that you have decided to stop gambling? You don’t have to tell them why, or give them any details, but it’s important that you do. Don’t just make up a one off excuse why you aren’t going gambling with them, do that and they will ask you again the following week, just tell them you ahve decided to stop gambling.
They might ask again once or twice but a polite "No, I’ve stopped gambling" soon stops people asking. Thats another temptation dealt with.
As others have suggested, get to a GA meeting as well, it’s a tough addiction; use as much support as you can get.
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