- This topic has 3 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 2 months ago by Anonymous.
23 February 2015 at 3:25 pm #3682eliza-janeParticipant
My son has a gambling problem, he knows he does, but wont seek any help. He doesnt do it every day, I have taken control of his debit card, but I found out that he went online at the weekend after a night out and lost £900 on a gambling site. He seems to do it when he needs money for something (he is moving in with a friend and needed two months rent), this he actually gambled away. I dont know what to do to help him, especially now that he is moving out. Please someone advise me.23 February 2015 at 4:30 pm #3683DuncKeymaster
Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.
Feel free to use the friends and family group, youll find the times for these if you click on the Group times box on our Home page. Now that you have introduced yourself youll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and theyll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂
If youre the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isnt connected with GMA, please dont identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.
Youll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which youll follow, some you wont…but thats ok because only you fully understand your
situation and whats best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you dont because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂
We look forward to hearing all about you!
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our26 February 2015 at 6:25 pm #3684velvetModerator
Welcome to Gambling Therapy
The addiction to gamble is all about the ‘gamble’; money is only a means to an end. Although your son appears to be gambling to win money to pay for things – he is probably only gambling to get more of the commodity that he needs to fuel his addiction. He might be kidding himself that it is to pay for rent or food but once he has money he will almost certainly gamble.
In my opinion, it is important to give directions to a CG (compulsive gambler) where support can be found. We have an excellent helpline here where your son can communicate one-to-one and where he will be anonymous. He would be very welcome in our CG only groups where he can join in and push his thoughts around without being identified and we have the CG forum ‘My Journal’. He has nothing to fear and nothing to lose by making these contacts.
It might help to download the ‘Gamblers Anonymous 20 Questions’ for him, you can find them on Google. Maybe you could get the address of the local GA and their meeting times for him. Many CG do not realise that their addiction is recognised and that there is help available.
I have brought my thread up entitled ‘The F&F Cycle’ which I hope will help. It should be close to this thread on the forum. Knowledge of his addiction will give you control over it and help you cope.
You have done well taking control of his debit card. When you enable a CG by giving them money, it is the same as giving an alcoholic a drink. Is your son working? Is he in debt? Perhaps most importantly, does the friend he intends to move in with know he has a gambling problem? I know it is hard to say ‘no’ but I think it is important to know that giving him the 2 months rent money is the same as clearing his gambling debts and only helps his addiction thrive.
It would be great to communicate in real time with you in the Friends and Family group on Tuesdays between 8 and 9 pm. Nothing said in the group appears on the forum. I hope to ‘meet’ you there.
Please keep posting and asking questions. It is sad but his addiction to gamble will take you down with it if you allow it to do so – it is secretive and divisive but with knowledge you will cope. The most important thing you can do for you and your son is to look after yourself.
I would not be writing to you if I didn’t know that your son can control his addiction and live a wonderful life.
Well done starting your thread. You are doing well
Velvet27 February 2015 at 5:36 am #3685AnonymousGuest
Its very true that this addiction is horrible and draining..
God knows all and yes please do keep posting because we all need each other as lomg as there life theres hope
its just so hard when our love once cant see that
we cry for them and wish hope with all our hearts that they will realize the pain that they have caused our and them selfs.. god helps all
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