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  • #3682
    eliza-jane
    Participant

    My son has a gambling problem, he knows he does, but wont seek any help. He doesnt do it every day, I have taken control of his debit card, but I found out that he went online at the weekend after a night out and lost £900 on a gambling site. He seems to do it when he needs money for something (he is moving in with a friend and needed two months rent), this he actually gambled away. I dont know what to do to help him, especially now that he is moving out. Please someone advise me.

    #3683
    Dunc
    Keymaster

    <

    Hello

    Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.

    Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page. Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂

    If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.

    You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your
    situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂

    We look forward to hearing all about you!

    Take care

    The Gambling Therapy Team


    PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our

    privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    #3684
    velvet
    Moderator

    Hi Eliza
    Welcome to Gambling Therapy
    The addiction to gamble is all about the ‘gamble’; money is only a means to an end. Although your son appears to be gambling to win money to pay for things – he is probably only gambling to get more of the commodity that he needs to fuel his addiction. He might be kidding himself that it is to pay for rent or food but once he has money he will almost certainly gamble.
    In my opinion, it is important to give directions to a CG (compulsive gambler) where support can be found. We have an excellent helpline here where your son can communicate one-to-one and where he will be anonymous. He would be very welcome in our CG only groups where he can join in and push his thoughts around without being identified and we have the CG forum ‘My Journal’. He has nothing to fear and nothing to lose by making these contacts.
    It might help to download the ‘Gamblers Anonymous 20 Questions’ for him, you can find them on Google. Maybe you could get the address of the local GA and their meeting times for him. Many CG do not realise that their addiction is recognised and that there is help available.
    I have brought my thread up entitled ‘The F&F Cycle’ which I hope will help. It should be close to this thread on the forum. Knowledge of his addiction will give you control over it and help you cope.
    You have done well taking control of his debit card. When you enable a CG by giving them money, it is the same as giving an alcoholic a drink. Is your son working? Is he in debt? Perhaps most importantly, does the friend he intends to move in with know he has a gambling problem? I know it is hard to say ‘no’ but I think it is important to know that giving him the 2 months rent money is the same as clearing his gambling debts and only helps his addiction thrive.
    It would be great to communicate in real time with you in the Friends and Family group on Tuesdays between 8 and 9 pm. Nothing said in the group appears on the forum. I hope to ‘meet’ you there.
    Please keep posting and asking questions. It is sad but his addiction to gamble will take you down with it if you allow it to do so – it is secretive and divisive but with knowledge you will cope. The most important thing you can do for you and your son is to look after yourself.
    I would not be writing to you if I didn’t know that your son can control his addiction and live a wonderful life.
    Well done starting your thread. You are doing well
    Velvet

    #3685
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Its very true that this addiction is horrible and draining..
    God knows all and yes please do keep posting because we all need each other as lomg as there life theres hope
    its just so hard when our love once cant see that
    we cry for them and wish hope with all our hearts that they will realize the pain that they have caused our and them selfs.. god helps all

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