ICANDOTHIS

[maverick.]

I have opened up this thread (rightly or wrongly) to offer you help and support, I was just reading through your journals like I have many times and was just about to make a post but then noticed it was closed, let me tell you they give me hope, courage and inspiration to help me get through the day, reading your posts along with many others on here has been a massive part of my recovery and in all honesty it will always be, hearing others share there stories ….. no not stories there lives takes courage, I know this because it took me a lot of courage to admit I am a compulsive gambler, not just to say it but to say it and know what that means for me deep inside. Anyway I won’t go on I just wanted to say it is always good to see you around (so to speak) and always good reading your posts, your support on here to me and many is greatly appreciated but like everything in life its a two way thing so when you are ready please share your thoughts no matter what they are. I have closed many journals on here the reason being for me (and only me I cannot speak for anyone else) is that I don’t think things through enough before I act impulsively but hey that is just one of my many character defects………I am working on them daily. So Icandothis please stay strong, stay safe, keep at it one day at a time and never ever give in, I cannot give you a lot but I can give you my help and support like you have given to me and many in the past, always remember what we have done is done and it is in the past the most important thing is what we do with the present because what we do in the present determines our future, there is always hope, take care love Maverick.

[p]

Cool I can, we are on the road, it may not feel pleasant, it may be hard to face reality but we are doing it, if we did it today we can do it any day. Off we go, recovery road is waiting for us to keep moving forward along it. We can do it, despite how it feels today
p

[maverick.]

Just wanted to wish you well Icandothis, stay strong and keep at it one day at a time, all the best love Maverick.

[icandothis]

Thanks, P and Maverick.  I am feeling a little better, and I have been enjoying a nice weekend with my husband.  I am ready to get back to that happiness project.  February was a pretty depressing month.  My hopes are higher for March.  I have learned that no matter what I do to change or improve my life, it dosen’t work if I gamble, even for one day.  I am not sure about happiness.  Some say it is a decision, some say it’s a skill, and some say it takes discipline. Right now, it is enough not to gamble.    

[icandothis]

OMG, What a morning!  My daughter is home from college this week.  She has a job interview about an hour from here this morning.  At the last minute, she is trying to print out her resume.  She had trouble with her computer and then our printer.  I am thinking…shouldn’t you have left by now!  She hadn’t even printed out the directions yet.  My mind is saying all the mom things like..You couldn’t have done this last night while you were sitting on the couch watching TV.  Instead, I scraped and heated her car, paced around the kitchen, and prayed.  She did get out the door just in time with everything she needed printed, but now she doesn’t even have one minute to spare.  She has a terrible sense of direction, and now I am praying that she finds the place and that she gets there  on time…in other words, I am praying for a miracle!
Well, she just called me hysterical.  She had the directions, but I told her they took her a little out of her way, and she needed to get on ***.  So, she didn’t look at the directions and took yyy..totally the wrong way!   This is, of course, all MY fault.  I have to go.
 

[vera]

HAND ME DOWN MY FIDDLE, ICAN!!!
 I could sing, play and dance to that tune!
Who would these youngsters blame if they didn’t have mothers!! (sorry guys!)
I hope and pray your daughter gets the job if its meant to be!

[icandothis]

My daughter showed up one hour late for her interview.  She came home and gave me a big hug and said she was sorry.  They offered her the job!  We had a nice dinner and talked all about her interview and the opportunity if she decides to take the job.  We will see how things turn out.  I always thought she would be the one who would take a job in a big city far from home…maybe not.

[ready2change]

You said you prayed for a miracle and low and behold your prayers were answered. Congratulations to you and your daughter she must of really impressed the interviewers being an hour late must of done a brillant interview it should do ger confidence the world of good. You should be proud! Well done

[icandothis]

Thanks, Ready2change.  I have read your thread.  I am glad you are continuing to post and the days are beginning to add up.  You’re right about my daughter..of course, as her mother, I might be a little biase.  I had this feeling after I talked to her..(well she did all the talking, I mean screaming)…that if she could regroup and calm down she would get the job.  She really is a very smart, talented, creative young woman.  I wish I had as much confidence in myself as I do in my children.  Heck, I wish I were my children! lol
My daughter is still sleeping.  I am enjoying her visit.  We are going to a movie later today.  Yesterday on facebook, a friend of mine whose daughter is also home on college break, posted a picture of the two of them at the casino.  I have to admit, I was a little jeolous of the fact that this is something they can do together, wihout it being a problem.  I even thought, "Why didn’t they invite us?"  In the past, I have suggested we go, but my daughter was never interested.  It is not something she cares about, so I will try not to think about it and focus on other things we can do together.  Money better spent.  I remember the days when I knew we had a casino down the street, but wasn’t interested in going either!  Oh well, now I am what I am, and that’s what I am.  No use in wishing otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Hi Ican
Very pleased for your daughter. Next thing to focus on is you and only you !
You think of everyone else, but sometimes I think its OK to just work on ourselves. And as we know, it really is work sometimes. I think you are doing fantastic. Get all your barriers locked firmly in place and as you mentioned, enjoy all those simple pleasures that don’t cost us a bean but give the most pleasure. Try and think that no casinos exist….they’ve all gone bust and no place to bet…….that is a nice thought ! We would definitely get on then with ‘just living’……………………….
Thinking of you and all on here x
Ed
 

[icandothis]

Big week for my kids,  Last night my son told us he had a job opportunity in London that he was definitely going to take.  So, after the wedding he is off to England.  Right now, he lives down the street and we see him often.  I am very excited for him and his fiance, but I am sure you can understand my feeling a little sad.

[cat438]

Hi Ican, it sounds as if you are dealing with lots of different things with your kids right now.  I think that some of my gambling was related to empty nest syndrome in missing my son moved to another province with my Grandson.  I was so excited to be a grandma and then he and his wife moved to her home province.  I felt so ******* as I had always wanted to be a Grandma and just loved being able to see my adorable Grandson whenver I wanted.  Don’t get me wrong I am not angry at him or his wife for moving as they have to do what is right for their family.  I did it to my parents when we moved from Scotland, but it was so hard.  It still is hard as we don’t get to see them as often as I would like.  we do the skype thing, but it is not the same as being part of their life on a daily basis.  I am just thinking if you son is going to London, England would that not be an awesome opportunity for you to save for a trip to visit him.  so instead of putting the money in a machine put it in a savings account for an awesome trip.  I know it helps me if I have something to look forward to, and for me it is a visit to see our grandsons!!!!  I was so happy that your prayers were answered for your daughter. We never stop being a parent, no matter how old our kids are.  Sorry if I am rambling on your page.  Have a great gamble free day!!!!One day at a time my sweet lord…

[icandothis]

Hi Cat, My heart goes out to you missing your grandson and also your recent loss as well.  I think people talk about empty nest syndrome as if it isn’t really much at all.  But I think it can be devastating and something that is very hard to adjust to. I also think it is more than just missing our kids and grandkids, although that is painful.  More me, I think there is an identity crises as well.  Who am I, not in relation to my kids?  Who am I if I am not taking care of my kids, and in my case, also my parents?   I think it would help if I had not given up my career to be a stay-at-home mom, although that decision is not one I regret.  I wish I had planned ahead for this time when my kids would be gone.  I am trying to look at this as an opportunity for me.  New career?  Hobbies?   New business venture?..taking things one day at a time.   Right now, I have no answers, except I know that gambling cannot fill the void.
I think I need to pray for another miracle, as right now I can’t see having the money to go to London.  We are trying to save so that we can help out with the wedding expenses.  Each month, more money goes out than comes in, which is a bit of a problem. lol   Speaking of prayers..I am thrilled for my daughter.  Although, I have to admit, my prayers might have had more to do with me than with my daughter, as I would have had to live with the fact that it was all my fault that she was an hour late for the interview, and that is why she didn’t get the job and why I completely ruined her life! lol 
take care, Cat.  We are meant to enjoy all the passages of our life.  Moving forward through them instead of choosing to gamble and stay stuck.

[icandothis]

Hi all, Struggling today.  Thinking I can’t possibly get through March let alone the rest of my life!  I have had the flu for the last 2 days.  I made my daughter’s favorite dinner last night…salmon, sweet potatoes, and green beans.  She had a friend over.  Today, she is at work.  I am taking it easy.  Soon I will get ready and take her shopping and then dinner at a pub downtown.  I still have the chills and am so tired.  I realized today that I never give myself a break, even when I am sick.  Still beating myself up.  She is staying again tonight.  I am thinking that this empty nest thing, like many things in life, is a paradox.  So glad to be spending time with my daughter, but  so glad to get back to my empty nest, too! 

[neva]

Yes, you need to take time for yourself. Being sick and still taking care of everyone else isn’t good for your health.  I know women don’t usually have the luxury of doing nothing when they are feeling bad.  We still have to go to the store, make dinner, clean-up and go about life with little interruption. But, your daughter is older and would understand that you weren’t feeling well. Tell her and allow her to take care of you. Hope you are getting some rest and feeling better today.

[Author]

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