[AshamedinPA]

This is my first post and I’m not sure really where to start. I’ve been gambling for about 12 years now and have had spikes throughout this time where I have gambled out of my control. In the past year or so it has risen to a whole new level and I have lost more than I’d ever thought possible. I estimate that I’ve lost $250k over the 12 year span… that’s a quarter of a million dollars. It makes me sick. I cashed out all of my retirement accounts and maxed out all of my credit cards. I recently filed bankruptcy for 120k worth of loans/credit cards/ unpaid taxes. I will be making payments to a bankruptcy trustee for the next 5 years. They budgeted our family income so we will have enough for the bare necessities. All excess income will go to the court to repay my creditors.My wide is aware of the bankruptcy and thinks its due to poor financial management and debt from our wedding. She knows that I occasionally gamble but she doesn’t know the extent of it. We will have no xcess money for 5 years and I feel awful as I have a 7 month old child and I feel like he will suffer the most as he won’t have a great early childhood. The worst part is I am stil l gambling! I lost 1800 on Friday and 500 yesterday. I am borrowing money from relatives to pay my mortgage. I can’t stop. I’ve called 1800 gamblers. Ive done the virtual meetings due to the coronavirus. I I want to provide a better life for my family. I just feel like a huge failure. At one point in March, I was up 90K gambling… and I lost it all plus another 30K. Everytime I think about it, I want to puke. And I don’t know if I should open up to my wife. I’m afraid she will leave me and take the baby if I do. I want to get better and get a new start after bankruptcy. I feel that if I can get my finances under control, I can put our family in a better place and I may not have to put my wife through finding out. I want to get your opinions on if I should tell her or not? I called 1-800 gambler and they suggested I try to fix the issue (my gambling addicition) and then decide if I tell her.

[edhavana]

hi ashamed
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nim in same situation where i lost control of myself the gambling addiction took over control and i lost alot of money much more than you, last time i gambled was last tuesday now im trying to stop, i start 13years ago when at that time i used to gamble much less than these last 4 years, about telling your wife or not first be sure your not going to gamble again cos if you tell her and then you gamble again after i thing in that case she will be right if she leaves you… thing about it for few days first
n

[Meghna83]

My advice would be please be honest with your wife and tell her about the gambling. Your actions directly affect her and your child.

If you don’t face up to your addiction and involve those that are affected then your addiction will thrive and you won’t have any checks in place to stop you.

To lose that amount of money is a big deal and you need someone you trust and love to make you see the reality of what you are doing. The damage you are creating for you and your famil. This advice is from experience.

I lost £20,000 within 30 minutes last year and when I did it I felt sick to my stomach. I bet £500 per spin. When I told my husband soon after it happened, his horror at my courage to bet that amount woke me up to how bad things had gotten with me. I realised, only from him, how out of control I had become. I desperately needed his help and guidance.

You need to involve someone you trust

[hambone]

My story is almost the same as yours; last year I was 125k in debt and it was impacting my family and I didn’t want to tell my wife.
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nI was working a remote job and got another remote job, I’ve been working it for 14 months now and next week will be 1 year Gf. I’ve almost paid all my debts off and my life has completely turned around.
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nYou need to stop gambling immediately, it will never solve your problems. I chased losses forever and just kept getting in deeper, that’s how we work.
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nFind another source of income, it’s the only way you’ll be able to stop gambling, otherwise you’ll feel the need to chase your massive debts for the next 5 years.
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