- This topic has 9 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 5 months ago by vera.
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17 May 2015 at 10:16 pm #30314Smee707Participant
So I posted a couple of months ago. I had savings of around £30k and managed to blow the whole lot over 3-4 days playing blackjack online.
On 3/4 occasions I won back £10-£20k but always lost it all. My goal was always to get even and I would stop.
The next part is crazy and barely believable…
From $165 which I was given by the online casino I won back all my money. I had $58,000 in my account. If anything I had made about a £2000 profit after my losses from before. I was happy again, the problem was it was so easy to win that I had no thoughts of stopping.
In one night I lost all $58,000. I played for about 12 hour straight, I was chasing losses so bad that I was blind. I should have took a step back and realised, when i was down to £20,000 or so that I should just cut my losses and be happy.
Instead I blew the lot and I am now broke again. I have well and truly messed my life up, I am going to be unsociable again because I cannot bare to see people and have no money to do anything. I need to eat and pay rent which is going to be a struggle.
Its out of control and I am scared that I will never recover.
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18 May 2015 at 9:23 am #30315DuncKeymaster
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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18 May 2015 at 2:37 pm #30316butchuglyParticipant
I started my journey on the 1 of march and relapsed three weeks in and lost more in that hit then I ever had. It was a huge learning curve for me and I had to put blockers in place and be honest with myself and others. I haven’t gambled since. I don’t want to gamble. Thanks to chatting in one of the groups on here I was guided in the right direction. I have had 6 counselling sessions which I didn’t have to pay for. I didn’t realise there was free support until talking to one of the support workers on here. They found somewhere local for me, so I went. Wow, what a difference. I know I have a long road ahed and times will be tough but at least I can enjoy things now, and so can you.
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18 May 2015 at 4:12 pm #30317AnonymousGuest
Hi Smee, I read your post before work this morning .
I felt so sympathetic because we have all made money , planned how to spend it and then blown the lot.
We beat ourselves up for days afterI hope u get the support u need and everyone here is so helpful
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18 May 2015 at 10:14 pm #30318Smee707Participant
Things are worse than ever.
I have just spent my next months rent. I have no way of paying this as I don’t get paid till next month.
I am looking at loans at the moment and thinking about how in 3 days I have gone from £3800 to literally £0.00.
My life is so fucked up. -
18 May 2015 at 10:59 pm #30319charlster2Participant
I’ve done everything in your original post and everything in your post above.
It took me years to learn my lesson, but there’s only one way out of your predicament and that is to kiss goodbye to all that you have lost thus far and stop chasing. The hardest thing to do is to admit that the house has won, but it’s exactly what you need to do. It gets personal between you and the house, but even though you may win the odd battle, the house always, always wins the war.
It wont be what you want to hear, but unless you can come to terms with the fact that all that money has gone forever, you wont be able to move forward. You’ll keep chasing and chasing and chasing and no matter how much you win next time, it will never be enough. The result will always be the same long term, the house will win and you’ll sink deeper and deeper into trouble.
Before you start getting yourself into debt, why don’t you talk to people. Talk to your letting agent or landlord. You need to buy yourself some time otherwise you’ll start taking out all sorts of loans and may get deeper into the mire. I took out numerous loans to try and solve my problems, but all that did was supply me with more funds to gamble with. I then had to deal with everything I had lost originally and the fact that I had put myself in debt through loans. Only my opinion, but loans only compound your problems, they don’t solve them.
It will seem like the end of the World right now and you will be in despair, but all is not lost. You’ve taken a massive step just coming and posting here.
Talking to people will be the most effective action you can take right now. Use the helpline on this site, talk to your letting agent or landlord in an attempt to work something out. Talk to anybody that you think can help you. DON’T suffer in silence and DON’T keep everything a secret, otherwise you will trap yourself in the World of gambling indefinitely.
There are many solutions out there, even though you wont be able to see them right now, so keep strong and don’t despair.
Charlster.
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18 May 2015 at 11:10 pm #30320Smee707Participant
Thank you for your help Charlster.
It pains me to know that anyone has been in this position before. I cannot stop thinking about how I was given my chance to get out when I won all my losses back and I didn’t even take it.
I cannot speak to the landlord. Typical London landlord will not like any excuses not to pay. The only person I have to talk to is my mum but I think I would rather take out a loan and deal with my problems myself. She would be so upset, she values her money and has saved religiously for my and my brother to lead happy lives. I couldn’t tell her that I had blew it all.
I am lost for words, I told one of my friends but they just tell me what I already know. That I’m an idiot.
A broke idiot now.
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18 May 2015 at 11:26 pm #30321charlster2Participant
Everyone always tries to tough it out before anyone finds out, but all that happens is we get further into trouble and people will end up finding out anyway.
I would be deeply upset if I thought my daughter was suffering in silence and couldn’t speak to either myself or her mother. Your mother may well be upset at first, but maternal instincts will kick in and she’ll want to help you anyway she can.
Also, when I say talk to people, I didn’t mean talk to people that don’t offer constructive help. Being called an idiot is not my idea of constructive help. Use the helpline on here when it opens tomorrow and they’ll help you and give you some pointers.
There’s nothing you can do this evening, so try to have a good nights sleep if you can (wont be easy!), and come out fighting tomorrow.
Take care,
Charlster.
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18 May 2015 at 11:29 pm #30322lauren05Participant
Hi Smee,
I’m new to this site but I agree with Charlster. I’ve been where you are with nowhere to turn. I didn’t want to let anyone know but eventually had to tell my partner who was horrified and I ended up packing up and moving in with him. But I didn’t stop and soon he kicked me out and I had to confess to my sister and move in with her. It is the worst and most horrid painful thing anyone could go through cause you know you only did it to yourself.
But please don’t even consider loans. Like Charlster, I took them too but only went back to gamble it. Going to short term loans and loan sharks won’t help either as you’d do the same and end up paying a fortune in interest. Talk to someone. I know it’s the last thing you may want to do but it’s the better option and they can support you. Try discussing it with your landlord or agent. They’re human and everyone hits on tough times. You don’t have to tell them the real reason. Most of us have been where you are. I’m battling now but managed to pay my rent before going in a mad reckless spree.
There are always options and alternatives. Don’t fret or despair. Breathe deeply, focus on you so you can think clearly. Remember you have time. You have to cross that bridge tomorrow. Take it one day at a time, so don’t fret about it now. We’re here to help and support you.
Stay focused.
Lauren -
19 May 2015 at 12:09 am #30323veraParticipant
Do not borrow another penny ( It will end up where the last lot went)
Walk away empty handed
and
Tell your mam.
(Of course she’ll go ballistic , but a mother’s love is even stronger than her instincts. (Don’t be surprised if she suspects your bad news already)
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