24 January 2022 at 7:13 pm #147201similarsharkParticipant
So here are the numbers lost throughout my life (I’m 21).
16-17 – Lost $10,000 (money came from a part time job and from my parents’ credit cards).
19-20 – Lost $4500 (money saved up after I stopped when I was 17).
20-21 LOST $35000 (money taken out of my tuition and from my part time job).
I currently make $1500 a month, and I don’t want to explain to my parents why I took the money from the tuition or why I have nothing in my bank account. My excuse for the tuition costs are that it’s for a summer session of college that we should pay early.
I haven’t gambled for 12 hours, and I thought about the root causes for why I started or continued:
1. My parents both gambled and money is what caused them to split up.
2. My best friend passed away, who was the only person who understood and helped me when I had lots of issues with my family in high school.
3. My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because I couldn’t control myself financially.
I’m not sure how to continue. I would break years of my parents’ trust if I were to come clean. On the other hand, I have lied many times before and it shouldn’t be hard to lie again, but I need to change.
I often created plans for my financial future (1 year) when I was disgusted with my losses. However, none of those plans would be enforced as I would break discipline and bet again whenever I had money that I felt was enough.
Sorry for this long post, but I would really appreciate learning from you all through suggestions, and I genuinely hope we can all stop and change our lives.
24 January 2022 at 7:14 pm #147345charlesModerator
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums. By posting to the forums you’re allowing the diverse and caring Gambling Therapy community to help support you through the difficulties you’re facing.
This may well be a tough time for you – particularly if you’re new to recovery, so we encourage you to post here as often as you need to, as well as making use of the online groups and the live advice helpline if you’d like some one-to-one support. We’re all in this together! If you’re a new member, you are warmly invited to join Charles in one of the New Members Practical Advice groups (Mondays at 21:00 UK Time and Thursdays at 19:00 UK Time).
The forum is a great place to share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. By writing it all down you can start to build a record of your progress that you can look back on – particularly useful if you’re ever feeling stuck. Share as much or as little as you like – but you’re encouraged to stick to keeping to just one thread in this forum – so people know where to find you to check in on your progress or to share something with you.
The Gambling Therapy staff team don’t generally post to the forums as it is a peer support area of the site – so we’ll hand you over to the community from here.
The Gambling Therapy Team
24 January 2022 at 8:01 pm #147352charlesModerator
Hi Similarshar, well done on looking for help. Read the other stories here, you will see a lot that you will relat to. You will also see the success stories – what are they doing that you can apply to your own situation?
You will read how barriers can help – get yourself excluded from your usual gambling sites/venues. If you gamble online get a blocker for your devices so you can’t sign up at other sites. When it comes to your parents if they had their own gambling issues then they would certainly relate to your relapse. Normally I would suggest asking them to maybe hold the finances for a while. I will let you decde on that one – if they still have their own gambling issues that might not be such a good idea. They could still help with accountability though – knowing you can’t gamble secretly is a good deterrent.
Sorry to hear about your friend, my condolences. I don’t know how recently you broke up with your girlfriend – if it was recently then maybe come clean with her, show her by your actions how you are going to change things – words and promises won’t be enough.
You need to focus on YOU though, put the barreirs in place, fill your time and thoughts with other things. A variety of thigns so you are less likely to get hooked. By focussing on YOU you will be better placed for future relationships. Keep reading, keep posting, let us know the positive steps you are taking to make your next bet less likely.
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