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Finally had the courage to say I need help ….
Almost 40 years of my life, all I do is gamble. My brain is consume with the best bet
I hate myself
I’m disgusted at myself
If I don’t have 2 kids, my wife would be gone by now. This is the 2nd chance she’s giving me. I don’t deserve my wife and my kidsI deleted everything on my phone including social media. I need to make back for loss time with my kids and wife.
The devil inside of me is so bad. I owe so many people money. My wife hates my guts now but because of my kids, last chance. I relapse one more time, I’ll be in the coffin cause I’m sick of this life.
Thank you for listening. May god have mercy on me. Please don’t let me gamble again. I must have been an evil person past life to have this life. I hate myself
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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Hi and well done on looking for help.
As you say, words aren’t enough, sounds like your wife will have heard them all before anyway, I know my family had.
It reeally is actios that count. The actions that will help you stop gambling are the same actions that might help rebuild that trust. Actions like posting here regularly, maybe getting to your local Gamblers Anonymous meeting if one is near. Deleting everythign on your phone is a positive move; a better one would be to ask your usual sites to ban you and then install a blocker to prevent you signing up at others. Accountability and limiting your easy access to funds with which to gamvel also helps. The accountability will mean you can’t gambvel secretly, your wife will both see you aren’t gambling, which can help with the trust, and also have the peace of mind that you aren’t out there digging another hole.
Show her this site as well – she can get her own support in the Friends and Family Forum.
Keep posting and let us know what positve actions you are taking.
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hi,
make her part of your recovery, and hand over the financial part to her, it is a huge trigger for us as a gambler if you can do that it will benefit you in both ways, regain the trust, 2nd you will have fewer urges to gamble, and from her perspective, she will feel more secure.you can ask your salary to be transferred to her account or to a joint account, so she can monitor the transactions, or give her full control which is better at least for the first 6 months to 1 year.
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Hi
Maybe its time to find some love for yourself and reintroduce joy to your life. Self-loathing will change nothing but acceptance and a determination, to take back control of your life, can change everything.
Look at yourself in the mirror and see the man your wife fell in love with, the man you want to be. He is still there but he is lost. Give him some credit for trying and tell him, from me, a non-gambler, that I know he can learn to control the demons in his head. If it wasn’t so, I wouldn’t be here, writing to you.
The Friends and Family groups are facilitated by me on Tuesday and Thursday evenings 7pm – 8pm. Your wife would be welcome and understood, as you are here. It took many wasted years to find the support I needed but once I looked in the right place, I learned to support myself and thus the gambler in my life. Our lives are healthy, happy and gamble-free so I know you can do it.
I will follow your progress and look forward to the day that you look back on your journal and rejoice at how far you have come.
Velvet
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Your story and mine is almost same but i lost my 3rd chance. She wants leave me with kids. İ feel terrible
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