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In the shadows
I tried to hide
A safe place to hold onto my pride
It started off innocent
endless possibilities was the dream I sought
till this dream consumed everything I ever bought
It was me against my world
It was me against my family
And now I try to make sense of what has become of my identity
It was just one dollar, that turned into five
Eight years later and this expense has cost my life
The mirror tells a story of a hurt little girl
My tired reflection is my own demise
Creating my own hurt and broken world
I now fear the shadow
the silence of the darkness
because it has consumed all that I was
It started off as an innocent dream
money was going to set me free
now I am consumed in a jail with no bars
and I still don’t know how I let it go this far
But I know I must stop
I know I need help
maybe somewhere there is still hope for me
All I know this is not my destiny
Love this…it really, does start out that simple Izzi. We make a prison for ourselves…but you know what? We can break out , we can slowly file the bars in the window frames and eventually climb out to freedom!
I am going
I am going
thats good honest writing right there, hard to read as it is close to me, but appreciate that we arent alone.
that is the story of my life, started gambling because I hated my family so much (was so hurt by them) always felt like an outsider, cg was completely out of character. And I just wanted to make money and move out and be independant but it ended up eating me, still is eating me financially (paying the price for so many years of cg)