Get practical support with your gambling problem Forum Friends and Family Just found out my partner is gambling. I don’t know how to be.

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    I have just found out that my partner is gambling and has been doing so since September last year. I accidentally found a bank statement ans it showed that she gambled £8000 in the space of 3 weeks by revieving payday loans and a loan from her sister. I feel so hurt, deceived and lied to. Like she’s lived a secret dark life for months. We had a holiday booked to go to Australia, and she told me she was saving and all this time she had blown her savings on online gambling sites. She finally admitted to me she had spent her savings , but she told me if had gone on ‘general living’ and ‘things she needed to pay out’. This isn’t the first time she has gambled. She did it years before she met me after the death of her mum. (5 years ago), and when we met she was honest abd told me she wouldn’t ever do it again. She started on the day she found out she had got a new job, and she was over the moon about it. Happy and excited. I feel I want to understand why she’s done this. I can’t help but feel so angry at her for spending all this money on gambling. She has had a few “wins” and straight away, put it back in. I worked out a total loss in septemher alone of over £4,500. I dont know what she’s spent in October -January. I would appreciate any kind d of help or advice. I genuinely am at a loss at what to do. I love her but I am unsure if I can trust her again and I feel so betrayed. Months have passed where she knew about this and never told me. surely she can do it again? She contacted gamcare and asked for help so we are waiting for a call back tomorrow. I would like some help on how to handle all this. Thank you in advance, Maria. 



    Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.

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    Hi Maria
    Trying to understand why your partner gambled will not help you, making sense of the senseless will only leave you more confused.
    The addiction to gamble destroys self-confidence and self-esteem which probably means your partner is feeling somewhat worthless; in my opinion, it is more important to listen to her at the moment, rather than questioning her because she may well prevaricate to avoid admitting how she truly feels.
    She has done well contacting Gamcare and I will be interested to hear how she gets on. Let me know how you feel when she tells you about it.
    Please keep posting

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