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    • #31301

      Just starting a little journal here to help motivate me to stop. I am hoping support will help me make a change.

      A little background info, I am 23 years old, my parents help support me financially in terms of rent and college, however I also make money from work I do online.

      I started gambling online around 6 month ago. One of the companies I do online work for pays me in bitcoin, I stumbled across a bitcoin casino and that’s when it began.

      I usually use my own money I get paid to gamble, up until recently, which is why I am here today.

      I had used all the money I had gotten paid this month earlier this month gambling online, probably 80% of what I made. This is similar to what I have done the months before. It’s ironic, because by the time I am gambling away the last of my money, the amount of money I started with seems like a dream-win, and I could have just had that money in the first place. I get angry at myself for being so stupid, because I make enough money to buy the things I want and do the things I want, but I can’t buy or do those things because I loose it all gambling.

      Last night and this morning I made a huge mistake, I used a credit card my mom opened for me. It’s only for if I really need to use it, for necessities, gas, food etc, and my parents pay it but I am not suppose to really use it. I started with a $25 deposit, I won a lot, lost it all, and went into a full on binge to get another good win, then eventually I was just trying to get back even, then eventually I just had to stop.

      All in all, I spent around $1,400 in the past 24 hours. I have not told my parents yet. I am in shock, it added up so quickly. By the end I was desperate because I just wanted to win a good portion back to make it all better, to cover up the mistake I made. That didn’t happen.

      I will be able to repay my parents when I get my next payment for the work I do, but I am very disappointed in myself. I should have never let it get this far. I am very nervous to tell them what I did. I feel terrible.

      At first I would justify my gambling, it was just occasional, I considered it plain entertainment and nothing more. Now it is blatantly obvious I have a serious problem. I can not live this way or it will ruin my future. I am making good money with the work I do, I get paid by commision and have been making more and more money every month, but I have nothing to show for it because I gamble.

      I had plans to spend my next monthly payment buying furniture and other stuff for my new apartment. Now, I will have to use a lot of that money to pay off this debt, and it is making me really depressed that it’s gone. Over the past 6 months, the money I lost could have paid for so many things, but I have nothing to show for it. Part of the problem is one reason I gamble is because I am depressed about the money I lost, so I keep playing because I want it back. It’s a vicious cycle.

      I am nervous to confess to my mom what I have done, but I have to, there is no way to explain away this much money spent in a day.

      I am hoping today will be a turning point for me.

      Around 5 years ago, I had a serious drug problem. My parents sent me to rehab then boarding school. I recovered and have never went back to that addiction. I know I can get over this as well. It scares me, because I am just as drawn in by gambling as I was with the drugs. Chasing a win is no different from chasing a drug high. It’s like a relapsed but replaced the drugs with gambling.

      If anyone has advice for talking to my parents I would appreciate it.

      I am going post updates on this thread with my progress.

      At the end of each month, I look back and just wish I had the money that I spent back. I don’t want to feel that way anymore.

    • #31302

      That conversation will be difficult to start. But trust me it will get better when its going. Your mother loves you, and may be disappointed, but will forgive you. The scary part is you dont know what she will say. But once she says something the conversation will take its own course. I had to talk to my parents about money they gave me for medical bills that i spent online instead. I felt so bad but they supported me. I asked them not to invite me to the casino with them anymore. Its important you have the conversation not only because she needs to know, but also she will be a source of support for you.

    • #31303


      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
      privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #31304

      Hi Pete,

      Well done on looking for help.

      That conversation with your parents is important. It’s always going to be a difficulat conversation but what can amke it easier is not just to presnt the problem to them. Now you can also show them what youa re going to DO to deal with the situation.

      You can show them this site, you can get a blocker for yoru PC so you can’t gamble on line, I expect your parents would be delighted to set any password for you.

      When i stopped gambling there was no reason at all for my family to believe a word i said. They took notice of my actions thouhg.

      Keep posting and let us know what positive actiosn you are taking.

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