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      jon je

      I have been gambling since i am 8 years olds. I remember I lost around $20 and went on to steal my sister money, that is what a 8 years old kid did. Gambling and stealing this process keep continue till yesterday. I have been lucky all this while and not sending to jail. I have been resovling to stealing or used the company money to feed my gambling addiction. Not once ,not twice not thrice but 4 times! It is in 3 difference company I work for, the amount is huge total amount of is should be around 3 years of my salary, and all the bosses give me a second chance!! Stealing from others i really lost count. All my fiancial woes  resovle me to steal are derive from my gambling addiciton. I don’t know any one who have the worst scenario as i do. I almost send to the jail but the police give me a stern warning due to my friend who report to the police is willing to settle the case personally with me. My family bail me out by paying for the jewelly i have pawn from stealing. During my 20s I had borrow money from loan shark I am so afraid that I am unable to pay them back hence seek help from my brother, he is so furios and keep shouting at me nevertheless he help me to settle the bail.   
          Now i am 36, have a debt of around 30k with zero saving no insurance policy ,no housing. All my life I have not save any money at all.   I have just married this year with a baby girl. I gamble the week before our weeding, and lost all the money meant for the weeding dinner and etc. again my sister bail me out. Last month I gamble my whole month salary in just one day, seek my sister help. yesterday i lost all my salary again. now asking my wife to bail me out and she is willing to help. This will be the third time she is helping me since she know me. I have depression and low self-esteem, this is my main trigger to gamble. I always wanted to hit the jackpot so that with the money i can build up my self-esteem  but i am the one who get hit. 
          I really lost count the time i have zero money in my pocket, going hungry for day. Living in anxious, depress, guilt and so on. Abusing substance, this cycle keep coming back to haunt  me. I really can’t take it any more, next time it appear will hang myself.I belive this will be the last chance for me. I need to give my wife and the baby a normal life. I can’t let my family down again, they had help me so much. To day  will be the first day for me to stay clean. This is the last chance. 29 November 2010I want a new life

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