13 February 2014 at 4:25 am #1383madge456Participant
How strong you are! When I thought today that I couldn’t handle my hb daily *crap* I thought “if Berber can handle her CG when she is about to deliver her baby, well, I should be able to handle this too”… So you are an inspiration to me – thank you. I am sending you love and strength and support as you begin a new journey with #2. My kids (all 3) are what keep me going – to be better for them and for myself.
I am glad you are focusing on yourself and your daughter – you need that and deserve that.
About to get on a plane in a snowstorm…more upon my return…looking forward to hearing good news from you very soon..
Thank you for helping me be strong
M1 March 2014 at 7:02 pm #1384velvetModerator
Happy Birthday Dear Berber
You deserve all the attention your husband gave you – well done him.
Such an exciting time – I feel joy generating out of your post and I am smiling and happier for seeing it.
I wish you well in the next few weeks and my thoughts will be with you.
I am having the whole hour again on Thursdays from 2100-2200 hours UK time without the 15 minute entry so I do hope that some time soon we will meet in there again, although I suspect it will be a flying visit as you will have another little life to care for and they do demand attention.
Happy, Happy Birthday
V2 April 2014 at 11:13 pm #1385velvetModerator
I guessed it must have happened when you didn’t make the group on Thursday and I am so, so pleased for all four of you. She took her time arriving but at last you can hold her and it’s all worth the effort. .
I suspect groups will be even more erratic with another baby wanting your attention but I am sure I will hear from you soon.
Your hb appears to be doing really well – trust him to look after them B so that you can get some rest – I look forward to hearing your son’s reaction to his new sister.
With all good wishes for all of you
V3 April 2014 at 1:08 am #1386veraParticipant
Congratulations and Jubilations!
What better to keep a CG’s mind off gambling than a new baby daughter!
Welcome to baby!
Best wishes to all!3 April 2014 at 10:48 am #1387ellParticipant
Congratulations !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!my dear berber
It is wonderful news!!!!!!!Your children now b is your miracle !
So happy that your hb is in te right path . Give him things to do now and trust him the family . Enjoy your family b you deserve it . Congratulations!
with all my love ell5 April 2014 at 10:36 am #1388san250Participant
on the birth of your daughter. A new baby always bring renewed hope in the world. Enjoy and remember to take some ‘me time’ when you can. Sending love and hugs to you and your ‘babies’.
San xx6 April 2014 at 11:03 pm #1389madge456Participant
Oh Berber. ., .how wonderful! I’m so happy for you it’s such a special time when you have a new baby. Put aside all Thoughts of your CG’s problems and just enjoy your new family. I know I have been remiss in posting. There’s been lots of stuff going on just no real time to write it all down. But do know that I read the post and have been checking in and trying to keep up with everybody. That includes you, Jenny, twighlight, velvet at cetera. But I’m so so happy for you and its nice to hear something good on the forum. We all need some sunshine in our lives….
give your baby and your little one a big kiss and hug for me .these are the best times.. Lots of love and hugs and kisses.
M2 May 2014 at 3:58 pm #1390moniqueParticipant
And all good wishes, Berber!
Monique6 May 2014 at 4:01 pm #1391
Our family is doing well, thanks again for thinking of us 🙂
We are searching for a ‘balance’ still, and sometimes it seems as though my husband cannot find his ‘role’ in our home. It is as though he is searching for a purpose in his life.
To me my purpose is clear, now more than ever: I am a mom of two small children and taking care of them is my number one priority. I can tell he also wants to put them in the 1st place, but cannot always as he will be too ‘tired’ to change a diaper, or he has to run off to a GA meeting right at dinner time (without prior notification).
I am quite certain he is still gamble free but I also wish for him to get up in the morning with goals and a feeling of meaning. I DO see in him a great father and head of our household, hope he would for once see it himself too.
Hope this makes sense…
B.6 May 2014 at 10:20 pm #1392veraParticipant
It takes a while for a CG to regain his/her Purpose in Life, Berber.
Keep treating your husband as head of the household. You know his true role. When he sees you giving him his rightful status ,with time, he will slot into that role. Gambling damages our dignity and self respect but it can be restored.
As mother, you are the heart of the family.
You have your priorities right.
Never give up hope.
Work on the little things. One day at a time!9 May 2014 at 1:06 pm #1393ellParticipant
Γειά σου αγαπημένη μου φίλη
I can understand how full is your day now . your angels is your power and i can understand how happy you are. As for your cg i m so happy that he is free and try to find his road. He is here b you know it ,we want the baby steps b as far we have stability , we dont want large steps- only baby steps with safe.he is with you b you can feel it . as for the household : my dear that is MEN lolLLLL
Im so happy you are ok and happy .
I will write my upadate b but yes im ok and everything goes well . I just run with my dautgher health 2 months now she is now 2.5 years old . we found extra problems with her thyroid and with her cholesterol . She is a baby and her cholesterol is so so hight and that is a problem now, but there are solutions and im learning the problem (for babies) and the medicines , it is hereditary from her father. i will be ok but i want to finish all the check up with all the doctors and then i will calm .
BE happy berber
θα σε συναντήσω σύντομα
ell14 May 2014 at 7:20 pm #1394
Wishing you strength in this difficult time with your daughters health problems.
Filakia Koukla!17 May 2014 at 12:52 pm #1395moniqueParticipant
I’m sorry you are hearing this nasty accusation, when you are so busy being a mother of young children. It must be so hard to hear these things from the father/husband, when you just long for him to be there for you and the little ones, emotionally and practically.
As ever, we as family members have to look for the support and encouragement for ourselves, where we can get it. If the ‘ideal’ is not there, we try to live with that and focus on how we can care for ourselves as best we can, not wasting energy on worrying about what we have NOT got! I know you know all this and I know it is tough. I hope it helps to express your feelings here.
Wishing you good things.
Monique10 July 2014 at 2:43 pm #1396
Things with us have been going stable and somewhat up & down, but since a few days my husband is not taking any medication anymore (he ran out & decided he wants to stop taking pills for his ADHD) – and I can see Dr.Jekyll/Mr.Hyde behavior again. Tirades followed by apologies & excuses (“it’s not me, I can’t take responsibility for my actions: it’s because of the withdrawal”) are exhausting me.
Last night he got really angry because I had not cleared out our dish washer and I had asked him to clean up after dinner. I guess it’s all just too much for him or something, but he made me feel bad. Especially since I do have the feeling I am ‘working really hard’ trying to be the best mom I can be.
He also cleared away all of our appliances we have in the windowsill, and there was dust & a few dead flies/mosquitos underneath. He pointed at it and said that I am such a bad housewife and can’t keep things clean.
Then, in the middle of the night our son of almost 2 years old woke up upset, and I did not hear him at first because I was just so tired and fast asleep. My husband is always loving to our kids – went over and comforted him. But then he came back to snap at me (and wake me up!) ‘how could you just sleep through his cries!’
I feel mentally strong, still, but also beaten up.
He is in touch with a psychiatrist & psychologist a lot today (seems like the world is evolving around HIM today) and I am rolling with the punches.
On one hand I feel sorry, he is obviously depressed and struggling – on the other hand it’s maddening. He should take responsibility!
I asked him, “can you not have your withdrawal out of the house, go somewhere else?” He refuses to leave. I am trying to take things easy and ignore his moodswings. But it’s hard.
Luckily our two wonderful children give so much affection and expect the same from me: that gives me strength!
Love from a strong & determined to stay calm and positive: Berber.
p.s. any solutions on getting him out of the house so I can have some rest? Leaving myself is not really an option at the mo10 July 2014 at 4:28 pm #1397
Ok, he has just left for his GA meeting.
I feel better slowly but surely.
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