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    • #37175
      Addi23
      Participant

      I have an addictive personality. Its been the reason for my success and its been the reason for my failures. When I commit to something I commit fully. And this is what I have done with gambling. Its been my friend, my enemy, my companion, my helper and my biggest demon. I try to fill my brokeness with gambling. The highest of it makes me feel amazing but the lows of it is my lowest low. If ever I need to be strong and change today is it. I pray God will guide me and heal me.

      I am so over living my life in limbo. This moment is the first step. Day 1 begins now.

    • #37176
      charles
      Moderator

      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #37177
      Addi23
      Participant

      Its going good so far. Not been feeling like gambling but that is what normally happens after a big loss. I feel put off gambling until a few days later the urge comes again. But I know the triggers and I have to be aware at all times. The goal is to go 21 days without gambling. If I can do that I know I can change my behaviour.

    • #37178
      Addi23
      Participant

      Today is going to be a real challenge for me. Im back at work today. I usually go gambling during my lunch break. And then stay well after my allotated time. Ive triee booking ny time during lunch. Im trying very hard. I know its all in the mind and I have the power to say no to anything. I just pray God gives me the strength to defeat this Goliath.

    • #37179
      charles
      Moderator

      Hi Addi just a quick one as i have to go to work myself. Don’t carry money and leave your cards at home. Just have enough money on you for lunch and drink, better yet take sandwiches. Stay strong

    • #37180
      Addi23
      Participant

      Hi Charles, thanks for the great tip. Ive managed to stay away today but I know there will come a time when the craving will be too strong. Im def going to make use of that tip!

    • #37181
      Addi23
      Participant

      The worst day ever for a gambler is pay day or when you know money is coming in. Ive lost ***** how many paydays ive gambled a quarter of my salary away and have had run around to make other plans to pay my bills. But because ive always payed my bills made sure there is food on the table ive never really thought i have a big problem. But I do. Im taking away from the quality of my life and I dont want to be that person anymore. Today I had my boyfriend drop me off at work. If i have no car I cant go anywhere. My recovery is my obsession now and I have to be completly truthfull to myself. Im trying. Heres to day 3

    • #37182
      Addi23
      Participant

      I have noticed that whenever I get really anxious
      I want to gamble. Like now the craving is sooooo bad. I just want to blank out. And im mkaing the usual excuses and reasoning in my head just to get that fix. Dear God please release me from this demon!

    • #37183
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Hi Addi

      However strong your faith is, God alone can not release you from the gambling hell you are living with.

      God may give you courage and strength but at the end of the day it is down to you to set about changes within yourself.

      Its great you have found this site and that you are looking for help, I think its also good that you are looking now before you end up in a far worse predicament. Gambling is progressive and if you manage to stop on payday after spending a quarter of your wages this shows you do have resilience. Something that gets completely eradicated over time to many CG’s (compulsive gamblers).

      For your sake please seek out as much help as you can, you dont say where you gamble but whether it be online or in venues they all have exclusion policies and I would recommend that you get yourself excluded. It also helps a great deal to talk face to face about your gambling either with a loved one, friend, family member or a professional therapist/counsellor. ~The more people know, the more they can help.

      Obviously you are not unique nor alone with your problem, great that you’re looking for help with it also.

      Please keep your thread going, its nice to watch people’s journey unfold.

      Take care.

      Geordie.

    • #37184
      FlyingDutchman
      Participant

      Hi Addi

      One day at a time, step by step you will get there, follow jonnys advice and try to have minimal money on you when you go out, if you gamble online, self exclude yourself, do it now. As a CG myself I too dread pay day, it’s a constant battle I know, we are all on a similar boat, but we can all do this, stay strong !

      Have a great day, keep posting !

    • #37185
      charles
      Moderator

      Hi Addi

      “The worst day ever for a gambler is pay day …….”

      This is where barriers help, acccountability.

      If you can put things in place so that you can’t access your funds to gamble with then pay day just becomes like any other day.

      What other barriers can you put in place?

    • #37186
      Addi23
      Participant

      Ive had a terrible few days. Been back gambling compulsively. I keep thinking if I can just get one big win i will stop. I hate that i have become this person thats willing to risk it all. And i know eventually i will lose it all if i keep continuing on this trend. I need someone who i can talk to. If there is anyone out there willing to be a support buddy let me know perhaps we can get thru this..

    • #37187
      DNcanada
      Participant

      Hi Addi. I’m in the exact same boat as you. Or prison actually. Feeling trapped. Your story is my story right now. I want to play all the time too but now my finances have got so bad that it stops me. I make really good money and I don’t even have $20 until payday this week because I gambled every last penny trying to get that last good win in too. I need new glasses and I can’t afford them because I keep gambling my money away. I’m in a women’s group now which helps and I come on here. There are good people on here. We just have bad habits. Got to go to bed right now but will write later. Hang in there.

    • #37188
      charles
      Moderator

      Hi Addi,

      Connect to the groups here and you will have someone to talk to, all except the “open Groups” have a facilitator so there will always be someone to talk to. We also have a one to one helpline as well.

      You will alos be able to talk to other Compulsive gamblers at your local Gamblers Anonymous meeting.

      Keep posting and hopefully i will meet you in a group soon.

    • #37189
      kathryn
      Participant

      How is it, that we KNOW what gambling does to us, that we KNOW that we cant stop, big win or bigger loss, and yet we still do it?
      It is not logical thinking. Our brain is full of thoughts to gamble. Once you get up your barriers and ensure you cant gamble, it gives your brain a chance to start thinking of other things.
      I read your post and wondered how you are doing?
      I read your post and saw myself! Before i came here, and finally faced my addiction head on.
      I hope you are doing ok.
      Take care, K x

    • #37190
      Jonny123987
      Participant

      Later Addi… Come back to us.

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