27 April 2022 at 12:58 pm #153350
I am 34 and have been gambling a long time. Around 4years ago the bets started to increase(and the wins) and all was good, then came the losses and chasing that one big win to be done with it. I then moved and had a lot more money freed up but I thought new start no need to gamble.
It wasn’t long until I started again but this time I could bet bigger and obviously that would come with bigger wins and less worries. It started well I had gambled around £5000 but it was okay because my balance was over £20000 and my wife would never know so I withdrew the balance happy that I had beaten the casino and was up. Before the withdrawal had been processed I had signed up to another betting site telling myself I can spend a could of grand as I’m up and can win even more. That’s when it got really bad before I knew it I had spent another £20000 and was checking daily for the withdrawal to be in my account so my wife wouldn’t know I told myself that was the end and I didn’t have a problem.
Fast forward a month the money was in my account I was down but not too bad I thought I will have one more go cap myself at a £1000 and try make up the loss this never happened and by the end of the following week I had spent ALL the family savings roughly £50000 and then started working through my credit cards applying for more and more online all day racking up debt.
It’s wasn’t long until my wife noticed I had stopped sleeping stoped wanting to go out and fell into a real depression. When she confronted me I tried to lie my way through down playing the issue not only to here but too myself I did however stop , for a while. Then it started any bit of money o could get together that she wouldn’t know about to gamble away.
Fast forward 6months till she discovered again and again I lied and said it wasn’t that bad I don’t have a problem but this time I really tried to stop and cut and run from gambling the issue was the debt I had racked up £30000 in debt a constant reminder of what I had done. For months I stayed away from gambling telling myself I didn’t have a problem I’m not that weak until again the opportunity presented itself to gamble(and get away with it) if I win all my problems go away, I don’t I lost this again lead to my wife finding out and what I thought was the final straw for her.
I now know I have a gambling problem and really don’t want to lose my wife of 12years and my son, I have a mountain of debt to try work through and a constant reminder of my failings. I gambled to fill a gap then the depression of the losses and magnitude of debt kept drawing me back at the moment I don’t see how I can break the cycle with the constant reminder looming over.
27 April 2022 at 12:59 pm #153358DuncKeymaster
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
The Gambling Therapy Team
27 April 2022 at 3:27 pm #153372CraigMac6Participant
You can overcome your gambling addiction. Just take it one day at a time. Worry about getting through today. No matter how bad your finances are they will get better over time, but gambling today would just prolong the journey to financial freedom. Basically gambling will make it worse! Make it through today!
27 April 2022 at 5:50 pm #153383velvetModerator
You have made the first move towards a better future by coming here. I hope you will join Charles, as suggested, he will understand exactly where you are coming from.
Unless loved ones know why you are depressed and the extent of the damage that has landed unexpectedly in their lives they cannot begin to understand or support in the right way. I know that you neither asked for, nor wanted, an addiction to gamble but I am fairly sure that your wife will struggle to understand. Families usually do know that something is wrong but they just don’t know what – it is generally very unsettling. Many wives believe their husbands have met somebody else and that they are no longer loved. Owning the addiction to gamble is, indeed, like having a demanding mistress.
I cannot tell you what to do; you need to make your own decisions but hopefully you will get the knowledge on his site to make the right decisions for both you and your wife. I facilitate the Friends and Family groups and I would be delighted to welcome your wife on a Tuesday or Thursday evening where we can communicate in real time and where her worries and fears will be understood.
We also have a Friends and Family where she is welcome to write her concerns, anonymously. If she should chose to do this, I think it is best that you do not read her thread but allow her to work her way through ‘her’ problems because she will need to recover too. I will always answer her.
I wish you well and I am glad that you have had the courage to write your first post,
Whatever you decide to do please keep posting
- This reply was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by velvet.
28 April 2022 at 9:06 am #153432
Day 2 not of not gambling but day 2 of admitting that I’m a gambling addict and that it’s an issue.
After living a lie for over 2 years and lying to myself and my wife that I wasn’t addicted it has been a massive weight off. A simple step of admitting and owning up to my actions and last night I slept for the first time in a long time.
Just admitting it out loud and reaching out the flood gates have opened and I feel as though I’m looking back over the last couple of years and watching somebody else’s life, I can’t believe I let it get like that or even acted that way it was as though I was possessed(not making excuses).
I’m trying to move forward own up to all the crappy things I did and take it one day at a time, I have found as has been mentioned in other threads writing on here is going to hold me accountable.
The urge is still there and strong the past, and situation I find myself in will always haunt me but for the first time in a long time I feel a sense of relief and hope a calm that I thought was lost.
Such a small and simple step but one that I feel is the start of change.
28 April 2022 at 9:06 am #153389
Velvet, Thankyou for your response and information for the partners. We are trying to work through it all and find mediums that work for us and by finally admitting it and posting on here it feels real and the start of a move in the right direction, for me any way I believe for my wife it’s just the same cycle that has been going on for so long she knew it was a problem way before I could face up to it all.
28 April 2022 at 9:06 am #153376
CraigMac6 thanks for the response this is the first time using a forum and admitting it a addiction not just a problem so appreciate your words.
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