29 June 2023 at 10:59 am #178228njchoppersParticipant
I was always extremely finically responsible and rarely indulged on stupid things that cost a lot of money. I’m pretty minimalistic. Then, I fell into gambling. Before I knew it, my savings was bare bones in a month, then I few months later entirely depleted despite multiple attempts to never do it again. Not only is my savings gone, but I’m thousands of dollars in credit card debt, something that I have never been before.
My partner has been so forgiving and understanding up until this point, but I know that they might leave me if I come clean about this time. I wouldn’t blame them, I believe that I wouldn’t have even given me the last chance. Now I’m hiding this fuck up and have to find a way to pay my share of things with an entirely empty account. I know I need to come clean with him soon, of course, but I guess I’m just trying to figure out my course first.
I attended my first GA meeting today, which I hope can be a major step for me. Tomorrow I will have to look into self-exclusion and figure out that procedure. No matter what I do though, nothing quells that debt looming over my head. I can’t sleep, have stopped eating as much, and stopped doing anything I was remotely passionate about. It would all have been paid back and then some had a quit the first time, or even the second or third time.
I’m just very lost. I would love to have someone I could talk to and go through this together with, someone who understands what I’m going through and maybe needs help the same way I do. If anyone is interested then let me know. Being alone is the worst part about all of this.
29 June 2023 at 11:00 am #178237AntonioModerator
Welcome here and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums.
First of all let me congratulate you on coming here and ask for help. That is a very huge step and I know it is not easy.
Here at Gambling Therapy, we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum, you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum, so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group on Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
The Gambling Therapy Team
29 June 2023 at 4:50 pm #178251marcusmaximusParticipant
You are not alone. Everybody on here is going through similar feelings to you.
You have made the best first step ever by posting on here.
Use all the support you can get. Get Gamban on all the devices you use, exclude yourself from any casinos, betting shops etc.
You will need those barriers when urges come.
Attend GA, use the support groups on here to get advice.
It is very hard to quit gambling for sure. Like any addiction it has us in its grip. We have to loosen that grip. Then stay away from it. It can be done, there is a much better life out there.
Another good bit of advice I picked up from other people on here is to just take things day by day. Tell yourself you will not gamble, try and recognise the triggers and find other things to occupy your mind.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, we all make mistakes, just that us gamblers seem to keep making the same mistakes!
So be really committed now. You will need to be 100 % wanting this to be the time to quit.You can do it.
You mentioned on my thread about venting. So go right ahead, feel free to go for it. Get your feelings out there. I might not respond for a day or two but others may well support you too.
Take care of yourself too. Get some rest, eat regular meals, that sort of stuff.
Be strong, there is a way through this. Best wishes.
29 June 2023 at 5:12 pm #178253CraigMac6Participant
You are in the right place as Marcus has stated. Everyone has different reasons and motivations to quit gambling but all of us have to do pretty much the same thing every day in order to continue to be free of the addiction. One of those things, is definitely putting gamban on all your devices. That app has saved me multiple times over the last few weeks. Another one of those things for success is to be honest with those you love. You, nor anyone else, can live with that regret and coming clean will help you in your recovery. You cannot control how your significant other reacts or takes your gambling set back. You can only control yourself and your choices. I really understand coming clean is very scary because you hurt someone you love; but that is what our addiction does. It takes complete control of our lives and really creates a demon inside of us. A demon that only cares about being selfish by getting our daily fix.
Another huge step to this process is making that commitment daily. No matter what happens today, today will be a success for all of us if we just refrain from gambling. Take it one day at a time and before you know it, those days add up! Come here and rant often. I do it, every day and it helps. I also reach out to others to support them as well; and that again, helps me an strengths my resolve to quit.
In terms of your finances. I think all of us are in bad shape when it comes to our money because we have all lost more than we won. I tell myself this, the day I quit gambling is the worst my finances will ever be. Yes I will have life happens that pop up from time to time to set me back but the constant deposits into my gambling account just kept me broke. Every day, every month, every year. Basically its only up from here. Our finances will gradually get under control over time but ONLY if we stop gambling. 🙂
I’m really glad you are here. Stay strong! Our lives are not better with gambling. Lets make the most of today!
30 June 2023 at 8:27 pm #178294
1 July 2023 at 11:42 am #178326Don14765Participant
Marcus, Craig and Kin: amazing
Words of advice….thanks !
I was in gambling help therapy
For a year – weekly meeting..
And my counsellor said the same thing that everyone here says: if you try and control the gambling and are unable to set aside a certain amount of money, ..are
always going over your budget (like me!!)or find that you are being controlled by this terrible gambling addiction …then the best thing to do is to get abstinent for sure…..
We can to stop gambling ….and take back
I am self- excluded from my local Casino…
I self -excluded from an online
Sports gambling site….
It seems the only way ?
I’ve tried relentlessly to “control“ my gambling desires, and yes! I want so bad to be able to enjoy and control my gambling, but I am finding I am unable to do so as I’m constantly spending more money than I desire..
Total abstinence is the key
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