Lost control

[Rayman10]

In the light I am me

but by night the demon comes to be

i watch from inside as the number rolls 

as the fear and excitement takes it toll

On top of the world again i feel in control 

only to be realise my greed and ego has dug a hole.

Posessed by this shadow again

 but im not to blame

i run to the excorcism, to purge the demon out

but i miss the train again and again

When will it end i pray

because the demon says he never goes away.

 

 

 

[SaraJ]

wow, I felt such sorrow, pain, and loss in your poem, I almost cried. I am sorry you are going through such a hard time right now. I hope you find release from this demon soon. Keep writing in your journal. The first few days can be very tough, I am praying for you.

[Rayman10]

i never know an addiction that could ruin someone in such a short space of time. Just last month i was gamble free and finacially recovering and 2 nights was all it took to hit …i want to bury myself in a hole atm

[Johnny B]

The gains are so slow… and I am finding for the people who recover for awhile, the relapse becomes worse and worse… almost like making up for lost time! Probably the psyche telling us we shouldn’t be doing it, so go for it for now. And then the house of cards come crashing down.

[Author]

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