[luna]

Dear Diary
The pain that i feel is beyond explanation. The torture of the mind is incredible and i cannot concentrate or focus on every day tasks. Beyond the haze of this there has to be some sort of hope. There has to be more than feeling like this. I struggle to find sanity today. I feel empty and dead inside and shocked that i have allowed myself to become this person. I dont recognize this person. I look in the mirror. I dont know who i am. I dont know how to get better. The highs, the lows, the desperation. All hidden to the outside world. All so real inside of me. Inside i scream on the brink of insanity. Outside another person going through their day. Today i dont want to venture out into the world outside. Its too harsh the reality out there. Its too confusing. The blinding stark real world that faces me out there today is too much. I need to stay in, stay cocooned in a blanket and hide. I feel lost at sea with no land in sight. Where is the land, where is a lifeboat. I am drowning. Drowning in confusion. Confusion from addiction. Confusion from losing sight of myself. Who am i these days. How can i move forward when i can barely breathe. I will try. I dont know how. I will try one breathe at a time.
Luna Girl

[Author]

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