Get practical support with your gambling problem Forum My Journal Major and Horrifying Relapse

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    Hello friends,
    I lost my head again and went crazy with gambling over about a two week period. I had been totally gambling-free for just about a year. Then, once again, I got this summer job that is about 15 minutes from a casino – and you can guess the rest of the story. It just makes me so angry – I found myself literally throwing money and just almost wanting to lose it all. I would go each day – lose the most my ATM would give me, promise not to go back, and then, of course, return the next day and lose more. So not only did I give them all my earnings from the summer job, all my savings that I had accumulated over the past ten months, but also cash advances on two newly opened credit cards. The sad thing is, I really thought I had it beat, but then once I got in there it just spiraled out of control. I could not stop. I was angry – hitting things, yelling and screaming swear words out loud, just totally nuts. And went back and back and back. I am not sure how to wrap my mind around this. Needless to say, I am very depressed. The job lasts for another week – it is a struggle to get through each day and each moment. I just can’t accept that I have done this after being so good for so long. I don’t know what to think, what to do, how to cope.
    Thanks for listening,

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