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NO!
Disaster!
NO!
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It’s a hard one as people can change but depends how strong you are! I think I am but done 750 today
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Hi Low Life.
Maybe check the 20 questions they ahve on the Gamblers Anonymous website? Then ask yourself if someone who can control their gambling would answer as many “yeses” as you may find yourself answering.
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my own addiction was in a very specific area. i was able to try other types of gambling and not really have a problem. in fact almost all i gave up after quickly getting bored.
i actually used a different form of, much more skill based gambling, to help get over my addiction. but i wouldn’t recommend this. at one point i was both a professional and a problem gambler, in 2 very different gambling environments!
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What is the difference between a professional gambler and a problem gambler. Surely the two must cross over at some point?
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Hi Mutley. That’s an easy one. Check out the GA 20 questions:
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/20-questions
No one who answers as many Yeses as anyone who needs to look at a forum like this one could ever be a successful professional gambler.
I hope to see you start your own thread in the My Journal Forum, you can tell us a little about your own story there and start getting support.
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Group Fifty SixCan a CG ever become a controlled gambler? Discussion Points What personal beliefs do you hold about this?Have you ever tried, if so what was the outcome?Do you know of anyone who has successfully achieved this?
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Are you living in a dream world? There is no way that you can control gambling, gambling controls you, remember that. I’m sorry to be blunt but it’s the truth
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It’s almost like asking could a recovering alcoholic become a barman? Technically yes – but why would they? Millions of other professions out there, all of them better suited.
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I agree with Energized, my problem lies solely with slots. I could stick £10 in a pokerstars account, play a few tournaments and be no worse for wear. That aspect of gambling I’d be fine with, I’d be prepared to lose £10 in entry fees but at least I gave a couple of tournaments a go, I wouldn’t be anything like slots where I be constantly depositing chasing a bonus.
Same for football bets, If an accumulator loses then sod it, better luck next time. I think everyone has their vices – the question really is can you gamble on things you think you have control over and still give up the vice you have?
For example if I won £300 on as football accumulator would I be true to myself and withdraw all of/most of that money and be disciplined enough to stay away from my vice – the slots?
All that being said I think it’s probably best to err on the side of caution and try and abstain from all gambling.
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If you hadn’t bet for a period of time then. I dunno let’s say you ‘found £10’ you told your partner and with that £10 they said or you said do a bet with it. Only that £10 was spent. Even if you didn’t find the £10. A one of bet to a CG for myself that is controlled.
But it’s all down.to the person.
Self control
If you told your self I’ll do a bet on Saturday and kept to that ‘one’ bet then that seems pretty controlled to me. -
Ok, I have bumped this Topic up the list so it will be discussed in the next Topic Group (8pm BST UK time next Monday).
All views are welcome.
I have my own thoughts on this Topic but will post them after the group.
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I’ll try to make it there charles
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Ok, thanks to all who gave input into the discussion.
I will try and summarise the conclusions:
We all tried to control things on our own – we weren’t successful or we wouldn’t be here.
From our own experiences, and from seeing returning members here or at GA, we have seen that “returners” who have attempted to return to gambling have not been successful.
In those cases often the addiction seems to want to make up for lost time – someone who had lost x amount in 5 years returned to gambling and lost the same amount in 5 months.
Trying to switch forms of gambling doesnt work either – it’s a gambling addiction , problems with slots could soon become problems with scratch cards etc
What have we to gain by trying to return to controlled gambling? Well IF successful I guess we could have that controlled bet now and then. If unsuccessful, well I guess we would return to being in the chit that brought us here in the first place. In many ways it would just show the strength of the addiction if we even considered that was a good gain/risk equation.
I am sure there are points I have missed here, if anyone else who was there wants to ad anythign please do. And of course anyone is welcome to add to any of the Topics here.
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One point we missed in the Group tonight, Charles is that although we cannot control our gambling ever again, we CAN control whether we have that next bet.
I control my behaviour today in ways that will not allow me to even consider attempting to become a controlled gambler.
When my behaviour changed my attitude to gambling changed too.
All to do with developing a different mindset , I think.
I agree 100% with Mondo. Once we cross the line to the point where gambling controls us, there is no turning back. -
Charles – as someone who is avoiding slot machines – my biggest failure – even going to the shop for a pint of milk has become a challenge – I so want to buy lottery scratch cards – not one for a pound but maybe ten £10 ones or to increase my chances – a hundred £1 ones . Addiction is addiction I guess and for me I certainly can’t gamble normally .
I agree with Vera – it’s about mindset , because short of locking myself in an empty house , I don’t feel there is a barrier in the world which will stop me – the addiction will just find a new outlet – therefore if I can’t make my external environment gamble proof – I need to work on my internal mindset .
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Good points both.
Vera you are right of course – the only way we can control our gambling is to not place our next bet.
I did it, you are also right. We can not change the fact that gambling exists and we need to work on ourselves. In many ways gambling isn’t the problem – my brother for instance gambles most weeks, no problem. As addicts it is us who have the problem and by choosing to not place our next bet we can change our own situation.
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Can a CG ever become a controlled gambler?
No.
What personal beliefs do you hold about this?
After 12yrs in recovery, I was convince I am still a CG, I always reach a point that I could not stop or walk away, sometime sooner, sometime later.
Have you ever tried, if so what was the outcome?
Yes, many times, losing self control in gambling happen to me every time, sometime sooner sometime many months later, the ending is always the same.
Do you know of anyone who has successfully achieved this?
No -
I have been gambling for 40 years. Problematically for 20 years. Each time I thought I could go back with a set amount, and “do it right” has backfired miserably. There may have been a couple times where I was “in control” but it only takes the one lapse of control, to put me back where I started, then the feelings of anger, shame, and self pity rush back in. I play a scratcher now and then, but it is the only thing that I haven’t abused in the gambling cycle. Maybe in my mind it helps me keep the fire burning, but I would be fooling myself to think I can go to the machines, races, or blackjack tables and “do it right”. I am not right, therefore I am here, and grateful for others that share my plight!
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With me the problem comes from not being able to handle loosing. I only have problems with slots. Nothing else interests me. The majority of the time I can stop playing before I go beyond my monthly budget. Not the budget I intended for gambling, I always go overboard with that, but my monthly budget for everything. I stop but I leave depressed, ashamed, tired etc… Then comes the day when I can’t and don’t want to handle the hangover, depression, shame etc. and I don’t stop . That’s when I completely loose control. That day always comes.
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I went to the topic meeting today (2019) and it came to me that I do not even want to control my gambling. I solely played slots. For me, going to a casino with ~ say $20 – $40 or even $100 and let’s make that once a month. It’s not worth it to me. I don’t enjoy the slot machines that much per se. I thought that I did. But really, after nearing 15 years and so much pain, loss, agony, downward spiraling… I do not want to ‘train’ myself to be a controlled gambler. Even if I could do it , I don’t want to. I really just want all my money back but that’s one big fat fantasy. The risk is way too high to entertain. It’s like all or nothing and then some. Yes, I ‘m an older citizen just trying to stay healthy and get by financially. To risk it all , like I was a millionaire playing for fun, is close to a death sentence. So good-bye to my fantasy of winning back losses. I’ve heard some stories of people who have gotten exactly that lucky but it’s a million to one or more. Honestly, I just want out of this scene but my brain seems hyjacked at times. odaat my resolve is strengthening and I’m staying connected with recovery resources . b62
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Thanks for the input in the group earlier Bonnie and the others who were there.
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I think this is very dependent on professional help. There is a difference if a person has any professional help or is trying to cope by himself.
I received professional help for a long time. And then I could safely go to the site, read some interesting article about a successful game or watch some interesting online bookmaker reviews. Since then, everything was under control. -
This topic is interesting as I can mess about playing micro stakes poker without any urge to play higher stakes. However, if I decide to deposit 20 on the slots and lose then I’m completely addicted and will chase and chase losing hundreds. I lost 1300 on Fri/Sat purely on slots – so annoyed with myself. My slot addiction has gone on for years and always rears it’s ugly head as soon as I think I’m clear from it. I went on holiday to Barcelona in early May and used the casino and since I came back I’ve lost 5,000. Its the only form of gambling I truly can’t stop.
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Hi James, I hope you start your own thread in the My Journal Forum. You can get a lot of support there and be able to look back on your own progress in recovery.
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It’s already a gambler. Look how players are cashing in money and after it is playing there different roulettes and lose their weapons, equipment, etc. I’ve observed this thing when my son was playing this game and it is really dangerous because our children are getting gamblers from the young ages. I also have this disease, I’m playing casino on and this is also an illness. Very difficult to be controlled and to win or lose money carefully.
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Hi Ohoward, well done on looking for help.
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nTo get support for yourself you can start a thread in the My Journal Forum. You can get a lot of support there or in the real time groups we have here. Please do not include links to the sites you or your son use though. I look forward to reading your story. -
Sometimes I feel I can control my gambling -I seem to always play more than the one game I like though 😔
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It sounds like you are in the right place then 196. Take a look at the stories in the My Journal Forum, maybe start your own thread. You can get a lot of support there and in the gorups.
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You are the best man in the whole world
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This is a great thread…I once
Had gambling therapy for an entire year, and when I first started out the counsellor asked me how much I allotted to spend for gambling, I said $40 in one week and she said, “OK then see what you can do inside of a week and when we meet next week tell me how you did“Well needless to say I went well over my budget and it was very difficult to “control“
I am learning that a CG can never become a control gambler and I have to accept that…
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