Get practical support with your gambling problem Forum The topics group Monday 18th May 20.00 to 21:00 (BST) – Then and Now

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  • #7153
    Dunc
    Keymaster

    Group Forty
    Then and now
    Discussion Points
     
    Encourage group members to share stories about their lowest points and compare them to the present.

    #7154
    Johnny B
    Participant

    I am 45 days from my last effort to control my gambling. at first I was very against trying, because I “enjoyed” it too much…..

    Then:
    Angry
    sad
    financially destitute
    untrustworthy
    selfish

    Now:
    better feeling of self worth
    proud
    strong
    able to afford what I thought I couldn’t before
    regaining lost trust

    It has been getting easier, after the first two weeks, my cravings stopped. The gambling side of my brain has been put in it’s place where the logical side has taken over. I am not going to say I don’t have any thoughts about playing, but I am much more able to rationally say “why?”… to what benefit is it of me… I can weigh the pluses and minuses.. and I can assure that for me to go back would cost me a lot more than I can gain.

    #7155
    charles
    Moderator

    Good post Johnny, it is great to see that you are already seeing the benefits of not gambling. This Topic is actually the Topic to be discussed in Mondays Topic Group. I hope you can join us. All welcome.

    #7156
    Monica1
    Participant

    Over 4 months in recovery and have been suicidal, threatened with prison and further court action for council tax debt, no money for food or presents at Xmas, Incredibly depressed to the extent can’t get out of bed some days. I clearly hit a very hard rock bottom. I would have thought things would be better now but they’re not. I live in hope.

    On the positive side, I do not have many urges, still feeling the destructionit caused and don’t want that in my life. Having just 45 quid to live on a month has been dreadful. Family understanding the addiction better and the low state this has got me to. Have seen my kids more than when I wasin action. I listen more. Still haven’t got myself back though and wonder if I ever will.

    #7157
    charles
    Moderator

    Things will improve Monica, over 4 months gamble free time is great of course but how many years did you gamble for? I know my life wasn’t great after 4 months either, things will improve though. Just as importantly, while we may have to face repercussions of previous gambling, by stopping gambling we have stopped making things worse.

    #7158
    Monica1
    Participant

    That is how longI gambled for with long bouts of abstinence in between. I havee 45 quid to live on a month so gambling of course would never be a choice right now. I bet you did t starve, lose lots of weight through no food and not even be able to afford to leave the house. I bet you did t have nothing for Xmas for probably the second time in my life of 60years. So when you say you haven’t made it worse by gamblingit does show a complete lack of appreciation for my situation and comes across as trite pat responses for everything. Maybe one day you can relate to people as individuals and cease giving the same responses to everyone for everything. Rant over. Yes, I am angry at my situation and the lies that GA spouts.

    #7159
    charles
    Moderator

    Hi Monica, sorry if you think the advice was trite but the point I was trying to make was that however bad things are they would be worse with gambling still in our lives. Sadly I know people on the same limited income you currently have who are still gambling and haven’t made the same decision to stop gambling that you have.

    #7160
    hoserdomechild
    Participant

    I recently confessed my severe gambling addiction to my boss, their boss, state funders overseeing my substance abuse prevention grant, the accreditation board for my state, HR representatives and my co-workers.

    It was the hardest e-mail I had to send in my life. I sent it with every intention of resigning from my job because I’m supposed to be helping prevent people from developing an addiction and I have serious addiction myself that I am struggling with.

    They didn’t accept my resignation and strongly recommended (I had to sign an agreement in order to remain employed) that I seek treatment and seek out support groups. I have about six more work stipulations that I agreed to.

    The only group that hasn’t gotten back to me is the accreditation board.

    Having confessed all of this and getting all of the support that I am getting, I still feel guilty about this gambling addiction and my lack of power over it. I feel ashamed.

    I’m determined to learn more about my addiction though and, over time, build some strength and support up.

    I really have a serious problem.

    I don’t even know where to begin. I’m going to see a counselor and get assessed. I went to the local casino and applied for permanent exclusion from the facility. I agreed to not gamble at all, in any form.

    I am most worried about when I get my next paycheck in 8 days.

    All out of money and broke. I think that is kind of a good thing. I don’t trust my impulses to stop at a gambling place. Their everywhere (video poker).

    Very New To This…

    Michael

    #7161
    charles
    Moderator

    Hi Michael,

    Welldone on looking for help.

    Can I ask you to repost this in the My Journal Forum though? It is a busier forum and you will get a lot of support there.

    Well done on arranging the self exzclusion and getting your counselling session set up.

    You are worried about when you next get paid? Good, now you can use that awareness. Read the other stories in the My Journal Forum and you will see that financial barriers and accountability help. Who could help you with this? A family member you trust maybe? Put thigns in plaec to limit your access to gambling funds and payday becomes just another day. Arrange that accountability, I strongly suggest you do this BEFORE payday.

    At this point you don’t need to understand your addiction – you need to put thigns in place so that you can’t act on it. That will give you the breathing space you need to start work on recovery.

    Keep posting but again, please do so in the My Journal forum.

    You can stop gambling I promise you.

    #7162
    hoserdomechild
    Participant

    Yes, please do.  And I will look at that forum.  I will start looking into an action plan.  My bank limits what I can spend in a day so that helps a little.  I have an aunt who can help me out with accountability piece and I am now required to check in with my boss at least once a week about this (I’m thankful that I even have a job so I gladly agreed to do this).  I will talk with him tomorrow.  I get paid next Friday.  I will talk with my aunt tomorrow as well.  She is close by.  I will see her.

    #7163
    charles
    Moderator

    Hi Michael, my apologies, I didn’t give you the complete procedure for starting your own thread. Go to the My Journal Forum and scroll to the bottom of the forum. Then click on “New Topic.” That way you will be able to keep your own thread running and get feedback specific to your situation, rather than it getting confusing on someone elses thread.

    #7164
    Fivesensesbmi
    Participant

    Yesterday anger today looking at this made me open up, I felt anger was not something I wanted to feel, either. Im trying to get help for my gambling, I wasn’t open to all the reasons I wanted to quit, because I had also become codependent on a gambler too. Yes, we all had similar situations,, and thats why I am here, to process these narcissistic tendencies, among life’s same turbulent storm. Thanks, yes it’s true boiling up avoids and resets, getting help, is the true path. I won’t stop the help, and i

    I been doing better. I am optimistic and angry, but when I can start to feel more than one emotion again, I’ll know I’m closer to recovery. my path, my addiction, and my call for help.

    #7165
    Fivesensesbmi
    Participant

    thanks for continuing, that must of been hard. The first time I gambled with a coworker, oh, it wasn’t a happy time,I didn’t realize the impact it had on my brain. Now 6 years later, I may have been living on the edge, but I too don’t know if my job is going to take me back next week, I let the problems at work get to me. I’m hoping I can return, not to gamble it again, but maybe to prove I can do it. Im not sure what will come next, but if my doctor doesn’t help me, for the second time, I’ll know this just will be a good try cause I tried. Everything I do is affected by this addiction, up to now it was extremely unorganized way to be. 

    #7166
    Monica1
    Participant

    A response to a very old thread of mine when I was destitute in recovery. I was angry then. However, a few main things to say. Work through and past that anger, find and surrender to your higher power. One day at a time best advice I ever had. We need to live that. I am in a good place now two years and nearly six months on in recovery. Life gets better from a complete pit of despair. Yes I still have huge debts from gambling but it is not as all consuming as it used to be.

    #7167
    rafffalogan
    Participant

    good words and good luck with that, I believe in you my man

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