[Christina]

Hi, hope everyone is well. Had an urge to write a bit here after breaking up with my bf a few months ago. It all started 2 years ago with cryptocurrency and he was so thrilled with it (hardly saw him so happy before). At that time he lived in Ireland and I was in Croatia so long distance relationship was hard sometimes but we managed. I didn’t bother much with bitcoin and stuff as he was “normal” as before. Since I have moved to live with him 2 y ago, it all went down so quickly. I felt like he built a wall and completely went into gambling addiction. He had a job, wasn’t so happy with it but spent all his shift on market. I didn’t have any idea on how much he spent there but told me once he lost 10k euros and he won’t put much more money. What really concerned me wasn’t the sum of money but his behaviour. He was so mervous, waking up during the nights and checking his phone. He stopped to travel with me, even when he did it sometimes he was absent and our spare time was filled with him looking at phone and PC or just absent in his mind. He was an amazing person before and all we had just vanished. Once I started to tell him it went too far he was sometimes able to admit its an issue and he will spend less time but it all came back to old behaviours so quickly. Sometimes he was saying I am crazy and there is no issue. What I realized is that he had some intimacy issues before and I think all the addiction was a way to escape from reality and old traumas and frustrations. I was suffering for over a year and left him in April, however he was fine with me leaving as he said I was complaining and wasn’t the real support. He also said that our relationship was bad but tbh I don’t know how is he anymore. The old him wouldn’t say it ever and would fight for this. I did all I could, told him we can go see someone and seek for help but wasn’t enough. I miss the old him and all we had but I don’t want someone who doesn’t want to sort his issues and put our relationship as a priority.
n
nKristina

[velvet]

Hello Kristina

Thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy friends and family forum. This forum will provide you with warmth and understanding from your peers.

Feel free to use the friends and family group, you’ll find the times for these if you click on the “Group times” box on our Home page

Read about the friends and Family Online Groups

Now that you have introduced yourself you’ll find that many of the people you meet here have already read your initial introduction and they’ll welcome you in like an old friend 🙂

If you’re the friend or family member of someone who is either in, or has been through, the GMA residential programme please take extra care to make sure that nothing you say in groups, or on our forums, inadvertently identifies that person. Even if your loved one isn’t connected with GMA, please don’t identify them either directly or indirectly just in case they decide to use the site themselves.

You’ll find a lot of advice on this site, some of which you’ll follow, some you won’t…but that’s ok because only you fully understand your situation and what’s best for you and the people you love. So, take the support you need and leave the advice you don’t because it all comes from a caring, nurturing place 🙂

We look forward to hearing all about you!

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

n

[velvet]

Hi Kristina
nThank you very much for your post. There are many outcomes of living with the addiction to gamble but however thing work out I will always understand.
nI believe that your boyfriend was an amazing person and I know the sadness of seeing such a fantastic man lose himself because of an addiction that he neither asked for nor wanted. Sadly, sometimes the only option is to walk away and having done this I hope you will hold your head high, without any unnecessary feelings of guilt – if a man does not want to be saved then no amount of love will save him.
nFor most of us Kristina it is not the money that causes the damage it is the loss of the man that destroys the relationship.
nI hope that your boyfriend will find his recover soon, unfortunately he may have to hurt himself a lot more before he does but I do know that all compulsive gamblers can learn to control their addiction if they have the desire, determination and courage to do so.
nI appreciate that you miss the man that he was; I hope that one day soon he will want to find that man again. I wish him well and I wish you well.
nIt has been a pleasure hearing from you
nPlease post again
nVelvet
n

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