[hopingforhelp]

Hello, this is the first time in my life that I’ve sought any help at all for my gambling addiction.  I’m hoping even just posting my story will be therapeutic for me.  About 4 years ago I lost my job, went into an inpatient facility for substance abuse and filed for bankruptcy within a 5 week stretch.  I lost almost everything material in my life, my car, my cellphone, my 401k, my apartment.  I moved back in with my parents and spiraled into a deeper and deeper depression.  I was humiated and totally lost in life.
About 2 years ago I finally got a new job and things were looking better and better.  I was slowly regaining some of the self esteem that had been totally destroyed.  I was beginning to repair some of the relationships I had destroyed.  I got a new car, new phone, new apartment and just grateful for my second chance. 
After not gambling for over 2 years due to circumstance (no money, no car, etc..) I began going to the casino again figuring I had "learned my lesson".  That was a little over a year, I’m sure you know how things turned out.  I began to go more and more, digging a deeper and deeper hole.  About 4 months ago I borrowed a large sum of money from my grandfather to "catch up" and swore that I would change my behaviors and get the money paid back asap.
Things have only gotten progressively worse.  I’m now at the point where I’m am completely out of options for finacial help and I’m terrified of losing my job, my car and everything I worked so hard to get back.  About 2 weeks ago i just shut off my cell to not have to deal with all the collectors calling. I go days without eating at times. I can’t get a good night’s sleep because I can think of nothing else every waking moment.  I’m 100% aware that I am at fault, I just hope and pray I can find the strength to end my self destructive behavior.  I figured my first step would to go online to find a site like this to read some stories and try to find some semblance of a light at the end of my tunnel……-If you're going through hell, keep going

[blueelvis888]

***** Hopingforhelp, Help is something that I have plenty of over the years but whenever I have been bailed out of my gambling debt within a month or 2 I have always managed to get back into debt again. I have lost many things money,houses,business,cars, time, well you could say everything. I have contemplated suicide many ***** and have tried a couple of half hearted attempts at it . A bit sad really why gambling can do this to someone make them want to take their own life. I am currently unemployed and living back with my parents now. After losing my home due to gambling. Gambling is good when you are winning but if you have been gambling long enough we all know that does not last. There is no sure fire remedy to quit gambling . I have tried many,many ***** over the course of 30 or so years. I have read many books on the subject and have known people to abstain from gambling for years and then something like bad news or a relationship breakdown happens and they go back to gambling even stronger then last time and manage to lose everything again. Worsening the situation they are in. We all know the only thing that gambling is,is pain ,misery and suffering to mention just a few points that it does to you. Now having nothing not even a penny in the bank ,I have to rely on hand outs from my mum to buy food. It is not like I do not want to work but work is hard to come by now I have tried extremely hard looking for work. But the problem really is gambling, were it not for gambling I could probably retire tomorrow and live a good life. But gambling has taken that option away from me and many others here on this site. I have stopped gambling for about two weeks now and hope when I get any money in the future I have the strength not to gamble. For the first time in 30 years I feel the need not to gamble and feel that it has taken enough from me now. Best wishes to you I hope you can find a way to stop this terrible disease.

[little lady]

***** hoping for help. I am in a similar situation to you and have found myself in severe debt. I just about have enough money to pay back debts and I too am having trouble sleeping but it doesn’t stop me gambling. Today I decided that enough was enough. I have to change for my familys sake. I am ***** and tired all the time. Lets do this together. I will keep checking back as you are giving me strength to do this. You have fine it before and can again – stay strong. There seems to be s lot of support on here do a good place to come when your feeling down

[Author]

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