[Clarity]

Originally posted by geordie18

Hi just thought I’d share this poem with you all, I wrote it during my phase 1 period in Gordon House. Hope you like it, apologies to anyone that dosn’t understand the Geordie twang that appears in one of the verses. It is quite long as you can see;
My Gambling Life:
I first started gambling
In nineteen eighty two,
I used to play the bandits then,
I thought that there was nothing else to do.
My mind was like a fruit machine,
Always spinning around and round
In them days it only cost ten pence,
And the jackpot was two pound.
I had a lovely Geordie girlfriend then,
And she was really very nice,
She told me to pack the bandits in,
But I didn’t listen to her advice.
She said, “You must have a problem man,
I divn’t knaa why ya dee it.”
But I didn’t think I had a problem then,
Infact, I really couldn’t see it!
As the weeks and months flew quickly by,
I had acquired many debts,
Bandit wins would never pay these off,
So I started placing bets.
I’d often spend my dinner money,
Sometimes my bus fare home,
I’d steal and borrow, and sell my things,
‘Coz I was too young to get a loan.
Although I had a problem,
To admit it took me ages,
The realisation hit me,
When I stole two workmates wages.
When I crept back into work that night,
My heart was really pumping,
If I got caught red handed, in the act,
I would have got a real good thumping.
My dirty deed was soon discovered,
And I very soon got the sack.
But I didn’t get arrested,
Instead my Dad, for me, paid the money back.
 
That was over twenty five years ago,
My deceptions have got worse and worse,
You might think I’m making light of it,
By writing this witty verse.
But I cant make light of what I’ve done,
Or the places that I’ve been,
For years I was convinced, I’d get that one big win,
Every gamblers twisted dream.
I’ve been to prison that many times,
I should have had a season ticket,
But it’s all due to my problem gambling habit,
And the fact I couldn’t kick it.
Many times I’ve tried to kill myself.
With tablets and vodka, and once a knife,
All because of gambling,
And how its ruined my life.
I’ve been on psychiatric wards,
To GA and hypnotists too.
And although they tried to help me,
I just wouldn’t allow them to.
And although it was me, who asked their help,
And I’ve listened to what they’ve said,
I’ve always clung on to the gamblers dream,
At a dark place in my head.
After twenty seven years of it,
I no longer have that dream,
I no longer want that dark and dingy life,
I want a life that’s clean.
It was me that started my gambling,
And me, that lead a gambling life.
But it wasn’t full of happiness,
Just full of misery, worry, and strife.
Yes it was me who said “Yes” to gambling,
And it very soon it turned into an addiction,
I was more hooked on the gambling,
Than George Best was hooked on the drinking.
It has effected all of those close to me,
Especially my family and Mam and Dad,
They’ve had anguish and pain, again and again,
And that really makes me very sad.
I really wish I could turn back the clock,
I wish I could change the past,
But that’s impossible its true, but there’s one thing I can do,
And that’s to make sure my last bet, was the last.
For years and years I’d gambled,
Thought of gambling as my friend,
But what the bloody Hell has it done for me?
Except drive me round the bend!
When I look back over my gambling years,
It doesn’t give me any pleasure,
It destroyed me, and my family,
And all those things I was meant to treasure.
Now I realise I can have a life,
And I can make up lost time with my daughter,
And I’ve no need to even buy a lottery ticket,
I don’t need to test the water.
My new life’s looking positive,
Where once was darkness, threes only light,
It’s taken my whole life to realise this,
It didn’t happen over night!
I’ll just say this to gambling,
“I wont be visiting you anymore,
Goodbye, old friend, for you and me it’s The End,
Because I’ve finally closed the door!”If I can change anybody can change.

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