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I am a young CG who became addicted to bookmakers and betting shops at an early age. 2 family members introduced me to gambling at an early age and i had them putting on £1 football accumulators at 14-15yrs of age. I hit 17 then myself and began getting “served” in the local bookies. It was from here my addiction got worse.
I taught myself how to read race cards and learnt numerous different betting markets. I had a job. any spare money would go on gambling. I curbed it for a small while but then i would have to go in and bet more to feed my addiction. I loved the thrill of picking out a horse of my own accord and being the only person to have it and win! The thrill of collecting…. but not to gain money and walk out…. but to bet more and more! Up until 6 months ago i would maybe think to myself ” i have made some money, lets call it a day.” However the last 6 months or so there is no fun involved.. i still love the thrill but physically can’t stop until i have spent my last penny. I could be betting big money on a horse.. then lose it all and bet my last £1 on a virtual dog! I would bet on anything in the bookmakers.
I found the majority of my winning bets were football accumulators. I would get the odd big horse winning bet also. However i would kid myself into thinking i was making money when in fact i would bet away all my winnings and more in such a short space of time! I do bet in casinos from time to time and play poker also. However my core addiction lies with bookmakers and Football betting along with horse racing.
I am going to find the hardest part not betting on football on big days such as a cup final etc.. and also on horses that i follow for months and expect to win on a big racing event day (cheltenham festival in march) i am hoping to get through these times of strong urges to gamble as i still feel a part of me wants to gamble!
It affects my family who hate my addiction, they have asked me to stop for them which i comply to. I last a short space of time and give in to gambling again. I then find myself lying to them to cover up my tracks to ensure they don’t find out i have gone back to gambling. I nearly always get caught out and they get hurt more. I have come very close to losing my partner and feel this site is my last chance to get my problem sorted.
I am hoping this is the place to help me control or get rid of my addiction before it’s too late. -
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
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Hi 4 life. I am glad to see you here.
I am sure you will soon find all the tools you need towards achieving your goals.
One day at a time.
All the best. -
Hi BC, the first step to recovery is realising you have a problem. The problem with us compulsive gamlers is not that we gamble, but that we never walk away. No matter how much we win it is never enough. We keep going for a bigger and bigger win. We plan n how we will spend it, what we will buy,who we will help but we always leave the betting shop or casino with nothing except empty pockets. I have been fairly gamble free for the last five months and its the first time in years i have actually had money for me. That despite some incredible wins which the casino always had returned with interest. We are compulsive gamblers . The only way we can win is to walk away , live with our losses and move on with our gamble free lives.
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I have notice there is one very important part to highlight here. You have some one beside yourself to fight for. I assume if it was not for your partner, you would have been in that vicious circle and playing and betting your money away. We all need to be awaken by some thing, I think for you it was your partner and that she is playing very important part in your life.
We are, when in action in a numb state of mind that we do not really realize who or what we care about, why we are running so fast for, what is money for in our life, or in my case, what we are living for.
You also mentioned that you do not really have control any more on how long you play and lose all your money, it is not even important what game you play, as long as you can bet and wait for the result.
We all in here have been trough all or some of your experiences, and more or less feel what you feel, we did lie to our closed one, may be not to get money from them but to make sure we do not hurt them knowing we are still playing.
I just want to tell you that these feelings are so normal for you to feel. What we all agree in here is that we can not stop alone. And that we need help. We need to follow some steps that people who have been successful have taken to overcome the addiction.
And that is what it is special about this site and organisation. Come here more often, write about your true feelings, anger, happy time, and I promise you, that you will be in a better world. Think of your life as one day at a time. Is it difficult to not gamble for a day? every day we only have 1 day to think about. That is the way a lot of us have succeeded in keeping our recovery going.
All the best.
Sam. -
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Dear bcfc
Keep focussed and I am sure you will do well. It is tough, but you have much to gain by becoming gamble-free. Then you will learn about the other joys of life – in your family etc – that do not depend on the thrill of betting.
All the best,
Monique
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I hope you are feeling better every day. I came to say hello and wish you all the best.
Sam. -
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I hope you are getting on ok now you are back from holiday. I think that just being very conscious (as you are) of potential ‘trigger’ moments is a good start – you think about the situation, rather than find yourself ‘drifting’ and doing something you did not want to do. So I hope you have been able – and will continue to be able – to focus on staying gamble-free. Also, maybe make some definite plans to do something that you enjoy rather than just thinking that all is boring and mundane ahead. It doesn’t have to be something expensive or major, but a change of mind about what being back can mean. What are the good things about being back? Even about work? What is it that you appreciate and are glad to have?
Whatever you do, I wish you well.
Monique
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Hi bcfc thanks for your post and welcome to the forum. I wish you every success in your bet free future odaat. Take care
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