[madtom]

I have been with my husband since I was a teenager and I’m now 40.  I have been aware payments were being missed when I occasionally saw a letter.  I have never done the banking and so left everything to him.  We got lucky with a property a few years ago and made over £100,000 and I have just found out he has gambled all of this, plus we now have an IVA for £70,000 and on top of that I have today found out he owes another £4,000 to other people. We can barely afford to live and I will now have to work to pay off the debt.  I cannot leave as there is no money for me to buy a house for me and my 2 children.
He is absolutely desperate – so sorry and broken. He said he is so relieved that it is all out in the open and says he loves me and the children desperately, which I do believe.  He went to a GA meeting hours after it coming out and says he will never ever bet again.
I have to know if this is an illness, or just a choice.  I feel so much hatred towards him which a didn’t a few days ago.  He says he cannot explain why he did it but could not walk past a betting shop without going in, but I have to try and understand why he did it and was he not thinking about his families future that he was throwing away.  I had absolutely no idea he had this problem and it is the most devestating thing I have had to deal with.
Please someone help me in trying to understand this and most importantly is this an illness and should I stay with him or just leave??I need help.

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