12 January 2013 at 10:05 am #2042new2gtParticipant
Hello! I am here because I need help. I left my country to be with the man I love who is in the US. We now have a toddler. When I met my husband, he was occasionally playing Poker. What I did not know was that he actually was addicted to it. Right after our marriage we moved to Las Vegas to save money on taxes and because it was close to his part of the family. Housing was cheaper too so it was a no-brainer. As a wife, I was okay with him playing Poker as he never went on a daily basis and also because I wanted him to have some fun. He is not really a social person and into making friends so it was basically just me and him until our daughter arrived. He actually did quit his job awhile ago. He is taking care of investing his hard earned money and the crash in 2008 was a hard hit for us. He managed to break even a few years later but the problem that I see is that he is a risky investor. He wants to get the kick of it. I told him that he needed to be more conservative but he said that it was "boring". I could not believe my ears.
He told me to not worry about him playing Poker because he had it under control and that he never would risk anything. All I can see is that he is not interested in getting a job or opening up a business. He does not want to "work". If you can say so: he is lazy. For him it is more about making good money easily without having to work.
While we dated, there was a time where he helped out his family business and every day after he finished the job around lunch time he would go to LA to play Texas Hold’Em Poker (he only plays limit). He told me that he used to play 1.5-2 hrs and make in average about 1200-1500 USD. Back then he used to have a lot of money.
He wanted to make Poker his career in a way. He mentioned to me that he wanted to make enough money to cover our living expenses as he did not want to take out money from his investments. We do split our bills though 50 50 and we have a joint account. His bankroll is probably around 10-12k. If he would loose that much he would stop for a while.
He is a bit different from the rest as he is someone who has quite a bit of money and I do believe that he would never "gamble" it all away because he still is somewhat reasonable and somewhat responsible. Where he is less responsible is his investing strategy. When I made good money (about 10K/month) last year he said he felt relief and that he felt that he could take less risk investing. However this was wrong. We lost a lot of money last year about 100k and his parents pressured us to buy a house. Since I work from home he did not believe we would qualify for a mortgage and after talking to a mortgage officer the plan was off the table. His parents were generous enough to give us 2/3 of the money to buy the house in cash which I never wanted. Now we have moved to a different city. There is a casino here and another one about 40 minutes away. I knew he would go and play (to the one that is further away because they have higher limits). I asked him to be home latest by 10pm. He broke the rule twice and has come home after midnight. The bad thing is: whenever he has a bad session he is so moody. He has a hot temper. He would go and grab a beer or buy red wine to just get drunk. Sometimes he even drinks in front of our toddler which I have told him many times I did not want. He smells like an alcoholic and my daughter will smell it too. He would raise the voice against me and he would find other things within the household to complain about just to change the topic. I just told him that I thought we would start a new life a new beginning and instead this. I am so depressed and disappointed. This is not a money problem. The problem I have is his timing and his temper. I can see that this can cause a huge problem in our marriage. Please HELP!
7 April 2013 at 3:21 pm #2043sara7788Participant
I m suffering from same problem.even that take me down .some ***** I can’t take care of myself n daughter too.i m very depressed.he pla on daily bases or drink and he is nt at all interested in taking to me if we talk than that convert into fight .i feel helpless.if I tell this to my father hubby says I humiliate him in front of my parents .he has been hospitalised co of this habits as he dnt take meals if he is into all this .last time I speak to him he said I m down with my business’ that’s why. Need money that’s earn from playing poker .i feel helpless.he clearly told me that he can give me more than4 hours in a week.i love him but he is uncontrollable ,he mentioned that I can’t stop him from anything.he said off dnt play poker or dnt drink what should. Do after coming back from office.he do go to office as. Dnt let him sit at home.after coming back from hospital he stopped all this for almost month .now again he started .he said leave me alone .its hard to carry our relationship .i dnt know wats my fault is ?i take care of his home n though I live in Jon family .i kept on thinking but at the end I can’t find answere .he says why do you go for dance class why u go to parlour why you speak to ur fronds n relative on call.did I ever stop you .even he says that you dnt like me seeing others gals so I dnt do that though I have options .i m speechless here he totally negative guy now …he find negativity in my jokes even …..he says you nag me .you dnt want me to do anything.but I told him you do repeatedly …
Help me Live n let live
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.