- This topic has 17 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 3 months ago by Mred321.
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26 May 2014 at 9:10 pm #25350lozziegeeParticipant
Hi I’m Laura and I’ve recently joined here as I’ve finally admitted to myself that I have a gambling problem. And coming Herr for advice and to get my story our there in the hope that I could help others.
Anyway a bit about me. I’m 22, studied counselling at university. My mother is an alcoholic and I look after her as she is unable to cope in day to day life. I believe I studied counselling because I like to help others and to get a better understanding of my mum. Studying counselling also gave me an insite to addictive personality and how to overcome it as I also looked at psychology.
Just a few days a go I had a bad blow on online gambling, the slots mainly. And got upset at what I did, realising how stupid I was I decided I need help to overcome my gambling.
A few things I’m going to try to help. I don’t get paid for another 3 weeks. Hopfully just got enough for food and the bills. I do only have my phone to pay as a direct debit until I get paid. And as I mainly gamble online. I’m going to pay my phone bill. And take the rest out as cash so I don’t get tempted to make more accounts as I’ve blocked my others.
For after I get paid I will go in to my bank and see if I can set up an account where I can deposit money in online but can only take it out at a ATM or in the bank. As I struggle with gambling online. Also after I’ve got paid, I’m going to treat myself for every week I go without gambling, even if its just a take away, or a game for my Xbox. I earnt that treat, and is less that I would of wasted trying to get back what I’ve already lost.
I have a few things to look forward to in the coming weeks, been nominated for employee of the year and get to spend a few days with my partner. (We both work crazy hours so hardly see each other despite working in the same place and close by)
Sorry for the long read. Just wanted to get a few things out there. If anyone wants to ask anything or share advice then please feel free to do so.
Off for a game of COD now, need to occupy myself. Not had one bet all day so far. Working long hours helps.
Tanks, Laura -
27 May 2014 at 9:00 am #25351DuncKeymaster
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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27 May 2014 at 4:49 pm #25352lozziegeeParticipant
Went yesterday without any gambling. Had some urges today, and managed to not do any so far. Feel like doing a bet now, but I decided to come on here instead. Will find something to watch to keep myself occupied. And going to get myself some chocolate as my treat for now, as that’s all I can afford. Chocolate is always a great reward though
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29 May 2014 at 8:00 pm #25353charlesModerator
Hi laura, well done one getting passed those urges.
It sounds like the financial side of things will soon take care of itself. The help I mentioned on your other thread was the help that the Citizens Advice bureau and otehr places in the UK offer for free. They can help people get things to a manageable position if they are unable to do that on their own, they do that by writing to creditors etc. It sounds though as if you can manage things on your own re the money side of things.
You can get a blocker for your PC, that way you can’t change your mind or look for other sites.
Be careful of having all your money in cash though. Whilst your current “drug of choice” is online gambling once that is removed you might find other forms of gambling more tempting – having a lot of easily accesible cash lying around can be problematic for a compulsive gambler. keep posting.
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30 May 2014 at 1:38 pm #25354lozziegeeParticipant
Hi.
Sorry about the late reply had the boyfriend over and he doesn’t know.
Still managed to not bet on anything. Was tempted to do a £5 bet because that’s not much. But managed not to. Not even bought a scratch card. Pretty happy with myself. And now I feel I have enough to get by.
Thanks I will go to citizens advice as I do owe some debts through being stupid.
Yeah I thought having a lot on me could be bad. So I might just tell my boyfriend I’m saving up and ask him to keep hold of my cash.
Thanks for your help though.
2 weeks until I get paid now. Hopefully I’ll be saying pay day and still not had a bet. The real challenge will be when k get paid though as I know I have money to spare -
30 May 2014 at 2:04 pm #25355icandothisParticipant
Hi Laura, Just wanted to say hi and welcome to GT. It is good to see you continuing to post. Many begin and then stop. I feel for you, as my mother was also an alcoholic . Though she was somewhat functioning. Always the secrecy and I had a lot of shame and guilt. Sometimes with gambling I wonder if I am addicted to the shame and guilt and secrecy of it all as well as the escape . Anyway, it is good to see you taking control of things. You have a lot to look forward to with your studies. Gambling can rob you of many things. Keep taking it ODAAT. You are doing great! I like that you are giving yourself little rewards and chocolate is a good one!
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30 May 2014 at 3:29 pm #25356lozziegeeParticipant
Thank you for the support. Just knowing I’m not alone is a big help.
Posting is helping me, as its getting my thoughts out without having to tell anyone
I know what you mean with being addicted to the shame and guilt. Its like I know if I put a little more in I’d feel bad. But it feels good at the same time.
The treats have been helping, got an awards night on Sunday with work. So if I don’t gamble by then, I’m going to have a good night and let my hair down a bit. And then I’ve seen a handbag I like, so if I get to payday, that’s my treat. I think having treats help because it gives me a goal and something to look forward to. And I don’t feel bad about spending a little on me as I’d usually be gambling it away anyway. Chocolate is a great treat, not expensive and taste great =] -
30 May 2014 at 6:32 pm #25357charlesModerator
“The real challenge will be when I get paid though as I know I have money to spare”
Use that knowledge Laura.
You have 2 weeks until payday, what things can you put in place before then? I know you said your mum couldn’t hold your money but how about your boyfriend? If he isn’t actually holding it he could still help you be accountable for how you spend it.
Maybe you could find the courage to tell him? He will be better placed to help and support your recovery when he knows about the problem. You won’t just be presenting him with a problem; you will be showing him what you are going to do about it.
Keep posting
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30 May 2014 at 11:39 pm #25358lozziegeeParticipant
Yeah. Glad I’ve acknowledged when it will be most difficult for me. Just hope I’m strong enough to not get tempted then.
I was thinking of telling my boyfriend. He’s caring enough to help, and to be honest will probably be happy I’ve come to him for help. Will have to have a chat with him and see what he says. He might have some ideas as he’s good with things like that.
Thanks for the support, got me through a tough day at work.
And still no gabling =] -
31 May 2014 at 2:31 am #25359lizbeth4Participant
Hi Laura, Welcom to GT. I am glad that you are here posting and responding to posts on your thread. That can be very helpful. Sorry that you have to deal with your Mother being a alcoholic. That can be a very stressful situation to be in. I am glad that you are thinking of telling your boyfriend about your gambling and getting his advice and help. Right now you need all the support you can get. We are in this together. In the beginning of my recovery, I treated myself with a book, purse, ect.. for not gambling. Anything that will help you. Stay strong!! You can do it.
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31 May 2014 at 9:51 am #25360lozziegeeParticipant
Thanks for the support. I’m really glad I came on here it’s helping me a lot.
Yeah, I’ll see my boyfriend tonight and will tell him. His support will help me even more.
And to make things better I’m having less urges to gamble. Still have a few, but not as many as I have done. Thinking of the hand bag I want is helping a lot too. Also one of my friends lives in Cyprus. And said I can go over and see her. I just pay for flights. So I will save and go there. It will be another reward.
At fist I was feeling down about life because of my gambling problem. But now I feel like everything is getting better and on the up.
Thanks again for all the support -
2 June 2014 at 11:03 am #25361lozziegeeParticipant
Hi sorry didn’t post yesterday 12 hour shift followed by a night out. Had a great time and not hungover. Did get a scratch card was a £2 one, didn’t win. But I felt not great that I got one because I knew I let myself down a bit. And didn’t get that rush feeling I have in the past. So maybe it’s a good thing, or am I just kidding myself. On the bright side I think a lesson was learnt.
Hope everyone else is doing ok -
2 June 2014 at 6:30 pm #25362charlesModerator
Hi again Laura,
Learn that lesson. This is a gambling addiction, once we cut off our normal “drug of choice” it’s easy for teh addiction to switch to another form of gambling. Scratch cards themselves can become a problem or of course any small to medium win can give us thoughts of “my lucks in today” etc which can be a big trigger.
I was going to post to you anyway about support you might want to use. You will probably have read about Gamblers Anonymous here, which could help you with your own addiction, but have you heard of Al Anon? It’s a support group for family and friends of alcoholics. You could get support there from people going throught the same sort of thing you go through with your mother. You might find that useful.
Keep posting
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3 June 2014 at 7:41 am #25363lozziegeeParticipant
Ohh thanks, I’ll have to have a look on that will be a big help not having to deal with everything on my own. And can try get my mum to have a look when she’s ready to help herself.
Other than the scratch card I’ve been doing well -
3 June 2014 at 5:14 pm #25364bob zParticipant
i banned myself from 3 casinos in my area then started going to an internet cafe for online gambling and driving several hundred miles to the nearest casino,also started buying scratch tickets i believe one form leads to another unless you stop all of it.
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4 June 2014 at 12:54 pm #25365lozziegeeParticipant
Yeah. Its the look of the thrill. And I think doing it when you know you’re not supposed to adds to that as well.
Have you fully recovered? You did well to ban yourself though. I still haven’t and probably should before I go in. The casino I use is Grosvenor and if you ban yourself from one they ban you from them all. But living near a city centre there are many different casinos near me. Luckily I don’t drive though -
6 June 2014 at 12:43 pm #25366lozziegeeParticipant
Sorry not posted for a few days been busy with work and family. Still no gambling been keeping myself busy so that’s helping. But I do keep thinking payday in a week. Luckily I’m in work, but I know if I really want to gamble I’ll find the time. So will have to keep myself busy.
And I sort of told my partner. I said I’ve not had money recently because I’ve been gambling too much and I’d like him to hold my money so I don’t get in this state again. He sometimes does bets but doesn’t have a problem, so he said he will also not do anymore so we can do it together. I think that’s going to help me a lot. -
11 July 2014 at 12:55 pm #25367Mred321Participant
Nice to see you were here hope everything is well > I am not home very much so I dont get to read some posts until way later. Hang in there I hope you told your BF everything that is the best way for him to help you.If there is GA meeting around where you live try going to a meeting.
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