19 March 2020 at 7:23 pm #8089seventytimesmikeParticipant
I’ve had a problem for quite a long time now, but I would always tell myself that I didn’t, and I would believe myself.
In October my wife found out that in the last 9 months I had gambled away £10k, I had taken out loans, taken out credit cards, lied to my parents about needing money for bills, lied to my wife as to why there were no funds available for us to go out and do anything, she warned me at that point that I was on my last chance, the amount that I had lied to her about things almost pushed us over the edge.
I went from October to February without a problem, but then she went away for a week, it was just me and the kids, and I went back to my old ways, I’d told myself that it wasn’t as harmful this time because I was dealing with much smaller amount – £22 in a month instead of what it had previously been – but I’d still kept it from her, she found out about it again on Tuesday and immediately told me not to bother coming home from work that day, find somewhere else to stay, I ended up in a hotel for two nights and it gave me an insight into what my life would be like if I didn’t stop this, and I really didn’t like what I saw, I’m feeling confident that I can turn things around, but I am also terrified of what might happen the next time I get that urge.
Me and my wife are currently on good speaking terms, I am back in the house but we are sleeping separately, we have opened up multiple lines of communication and have spend so much of the last three days just talking and explaining our feelings and emotions about things, however she has made it very clear that if this happens again then our relationship would be over.
I’ve signed up with GamStop, so that should prevent an immediate relapse, I was wondering what other people had found to be a suitable and healthy coping mechanism, be it online or out in the real world, ideally I would like to avoid substituting the gambling for gaming as I have found that just allows me to transfer the issue to something else, I would also like to minimise the cost of the coping mechanism.
Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated, I really love my wife and children and sitting here right now I know I couldn’t handle being separated from them, but I am also terrified that when the urge comes on I’ll find myself some excuse that allows me to slip back into gambling which will effectively throw away the last 12 years of marriage.
Thankyou in advance.
Mike20 March 2020 at 9:24 am #8090duncParticipant
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
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And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
The Gambling Therapy Team
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