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           Ive been comming on line for about 4 months now.I have been banned from casino for 10months.Been gamble free for 4months.Been going to GA for also 4 months.During this time I have listened and learned,laughed and cried with strangers from all over the world.Iam a cg that is one thing iam certain of.I do have a lot in common with millions i know that im not alone now,but ultimitaely the truth is iam on my own,Recovery is not a we journey it is a me journey.I know that need wont help me with this addiction cause it is need that got me in to this mess in the first place.I needed to gamble to survive ,and it did help me in the beginning and i do miss it i wont lie.What I need is the want to stop.But there is a whole lot of life to live behind the want door.During these past few months ive tried to put into practise all the good advice from old and new cgs alike.Some days wow i think i can handle it all ,i can do this attitude you know, to the days where everything is a whatever day.But at the end of the day im still ultimitaltley on my own and that is me being realistic.It was a hard one to except , know one really cares how my day went and im not feeling sorry for myself or having a pity party here ,Im just learning how to stand on my own two feet.cause when i close my computer its just me.Time is going to be my best healer i believe and sometimes talking is just that talking, and that is me being honest.Actions speak louder then again ultimitaley its up to me.I was told last week i dont think realisticaly about things maybe so? But that is my way of taking things one day at a time .I like you dont know where this journey of healing is going to take me ,but i do know where gambling took me and if i make a wrong turn in my road to recovery it will ultimitaley be of my own choosing not the addiction and that is what i believe cause i do know wrong from right .God bless all on your own road to recovery .Stay strong.

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