[Gilly35]

I guess I can say that I have been a gambling addict my entire life. Even though I never bet a huge amount of money (because I didn’t have any) it was always something.
nNow it has really hit home as I have a family and it’s interfered with them. I started a company 3 years ago where I took money in, and paid it out to my vendors. Well with all that cash at my disposal I was gambling and in bigger
ndenominations. When I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to pay it back, I took out a high interest business loan. From there everything just spiraled out of control for me with more gambling, and more loans, and more debt.
nMy wife caught me in a lie about our finances and I was able to come clean on everything. I honestly don’t know if I would have been able to come clean on my own. The moment that we talked about it and I cleared the air with her,
nthere was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. I felt like I was a new person because I didn’t have to hide anything anymore. The other day I was on Facebook and a friend tagged me in a memory of us at a casino. I was 22 years old
nand the quote said (and was him making fun of me) “Can I borrow money? Don’t worry, I’m good for it”. Those words resonated with me as I am in the same exact boat as I was 20 years ago. Nothing has changed….. It’s time for change.
n

[Gilly35]

If it wasn’t for my wife I would still be living a lie

[dunc]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

n

[charles]

Hi Gilly,
n
nYou started a separate thread in the Topic group Forum. that forum relates to the Topic discussions we have in the Topic Groups on a Monday evening (UK time) so I have moved it to this Forum as well and replied on it to bump it up for others to see.
n
nKeep posting and maybe I will see you in one of the groups here soon.

[Enough808]

When I came clean to my wife, just a few weeks ago, I felt the same way you do. Removing the ability to hide our problems will help a lot in quitting gambling. You are on the right track to stopping the endless cycle of gambling and losing money. Keep it up!

[Gilly35]

So true, since I’ve told my wife everything I feel this huge weight off of my shoulders.  It’s like I was living this huge lie and didn’t know how to tell her, I wanted to, but didn’t know how.  I was relieved when she found out.  Even though it wasn’t my intention (because I didn’t know how), I knew deep down that if my wife knew everything that I would feel much better.  I have so much work to do now to earn her respect again, but it’s definitely worth it.  Again, the weight of not having anything to hide anymore that has been lifted off of my shoulders has been amazing.  Thanks for reaching out Enough808

[Enough808]

I’m glad you were able to communicate with her. A huge part of the addiction is the hiding. We hide our losses and bets from those we love and that sort of adds to the addiction. I think it’s a really healthy thing for the relationship too when you are open with everything.  

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