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    • #14920
      larry123
      Participant

      Hello everyone and Happy New Years. In advance, I’d like to thank you for reading my story. I’m a problem gambler and found this site after losing a lot of money in the casino this past week – and was searching for a support group (online), such as this one. I’ve been to GA before, but for now, I don’t think that’s for me, and I don’t want to go back there (for now, anyway). Where do I begin – It’s been a tough 10 years (maybe more) – the ups and downs, the roller coaster ride, the all-encompassing pleasurable moments at the casino, the down moments after I lose a lot of money, the lies, the hiding of my problem, and so much more. Practically, the only vacation in the last 6 years I have been on has been to a casino. It is the most pleasurable experience I could possibly have. If you met me in the street or at work you’d think I’m a normal, educated, successful person – ha, if only you knew how I felt inside. If you only knew that I’ve only known debt (due to gambling). If only you knew that I’ve been living with my parents (all while making 6 figures) because I can’t afford to live on my own. I can’t afford to get married and have children. And this is all because of my love for the casino. my love for the ups, the rush, the highs that i get when i win. I know that virtually every time i go down to the casino, i won’t win (and certainly not in the long run). I know that deep down I’m only going to the casino to get that rush; but i go anyway, and almost every time i regret it.
      I’ve read some of the stories that you wrote on this site, and I don’t think I hit the rock bottom that many people have hit. I’m not at the point where I want to hurt myself or g-d forbid, kill myself. But i’m here to get help because I’m at the point where I don’t know what my addiction will eventually lead to and I want to live a ‘normal’ life and enjoy life the way normal people enjoy life. Thus far, I have never stole a penny to finance my addiction, but there has been a time where I used up every dollar of credit that I had on my credit cards. I just don’t know how to stop. I must have lost 70-80 thousand dollars in the last 10 years (who knows, maybe even more). I have no savings for a house, a family, or anything that most ‘normal’ people get to enjoy in life. And you know what the funny thing is, as I’m writing these very words, I’m literally thinking about going down to the casino this week again! Why????????????????????? why would I do that? god, i’m just hoping that this site will give me the support and the tools necessary to help me get out of this mire, this hell, and this self-destructive life that I’ve been living.
      Regards, and thank you for all the stories you wrote – we’re not alone.
      Best,
      Larry

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