- This topic has 13 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 3 months ago by monique.
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16 June 2014 at 10:02 pm #25492stephtexasParticipant
Hi All,
I was here at GT many years ago. Of course, I wish I had done what I needed to do then. Well like all things CG we cannot undo the past, and I’m here now. Let’s see..10 days without gambling so far.
Growing up I never thought I would be addicted to anything..I was scared to death of drugs, alcohol and anything that made me feel different…never experimented…OK smoked cigarettes for a week…but that’s it.
Grandmother liked Bingo so I would go help her out with her cards, but she yelled Bingo if she had one. I thought that was kinda fun. After turning 21 my Grandmother had discovered river boat casinos…not sure how..anyway my Mother and I started taking her there because she didn’t drive…anyway we slowly started to really like it.
I didn’t concentrate too much on it because I had to finish college and worked part-time. Anyhow, by the time I graduated, landed my first job and found my husband I was pretty hooked and had a bit of gambling debt.
Instead of telling my soon to be husband I figured after the marriage I would just stop going and repay any debts, etc. That didn’t happen, before the marriage we lived in 2 different cities and the plan was for him to move into my house and be with me. Even before the marriage we had some problems, so I used gambling to escape from those issues instead of talk them out.
Ok three months into the marriage we were expecting our first baby…OK now I will stop this gambling because I will be sooo busy that I simply won’t have time…OK so ten years later and a second baby…I still gambled and now I’m in a ton of debt.
Since my husband loves a good deal, he suggested he and I take a trip to Vegas because we could get free rooms (lol). He knew I liked to gamble, but figured I was responsible about it. I reluctantly agreed because I knew he wanted some time away. Needless to say I tried but couldn’t leave Vegas without leaving around 4K behind. After we landed back in Texas I told him about the gambling problem and the debt. That was 10 days ago.
I’m not sure how long this will last but ever since I have not felt a strong urge to gamble. I can’t say that will remain unchanged, but I’m hoping to be prepared when it does change. -
16 June 2014 at 10:55 pm #25493velvetModerator
Hello Steph and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties youre currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if youre new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. Were in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like youre not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
And on that note….
Im going to hand you over to our community because Im sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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17 June 2014 at 1:34 am #25494jackwilsonParticipant
the most important thing is that you’re willing to face your problem head on. You have two beautiful children and a husband who loves you. Gambling was part of your past and you can never change that, but now, you have so much to look forward to.
Congrats on getting to 10 days, and continue to post on here. At least for me, I know it’s been a big help.
-Jack
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17 June 2014 at 1:41 am #25495stephtexasParticipant
Hi Jack..I’ve been reading your posts and I’m praying for your recovery as well. You are absolutely right, I have a ton to be thankful for and I’m ready for gambling to be part of my past and not my future. I’m busily making plans for this weekend to keep me busy. Thank you for your support and I hope I can be of some support to you too.
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17 June 2014 at 9:40 pm #25496veraParticipant
Good to have met you in the group Steph!
Stopping gambling helps to clear our heads. When we are in the throes of the game we can’t see the wood for the trees. Well done on coming clean with your husband and well done to him for supporting you. You sound very determined!
When I first came here in 2008 I was advised by Lee to postpone the next bet. I didn’t always follow the advice but I do know it works!
Just try it.
One day at a time! -
1 July 2014 at 8:17 pm #25497stephtexasParticipant
Hi All, I just wanted to update my journal and say that I’m 24 days since I have last gambled. It really seems like an eternity, but its been less than a month. I have run into some triggers recently, but having the barriers in place really has helped me get passed those anxious moments. Also, now that my husband knows about my gambling he knows that I cannot be “allowed” to have too much alone time. This has really helped. I have started keeping a calendar and I mark a black X on the days that I have not gambled. For me this makes me feel good for some strange reason. I like to see all of those X’s. Another thing is that I try to not dwell on my finances too much. I simply pay my bills and move on. I don’t look at how much I owe or how much I have in the bank account. I think that is a trigger for me. Good Luck to everyone and Thanks for reading.
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2 July 2014 at 10:10 am #25498DuncKeymaster
Hi Steph
You briefly mentioned running into some triggers. Are these triggers likely to reappear?
have you anything you can do to stop these triggers happening again?
H
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2 July 2014 at 4:41 pm #25499stephtexasParticipant
Hi Harry. I do my best to stay away from most triggers..like commercials, billboards and things like that. The triggers that have been the toughest are “old habits” mostly. For instance, on weekends, if I did not have plans (I think my hubby counted too much on me to make plans for the family, so my plan was always to go to the casino and the kids can stay with their beloved Aunt) so this left everyone’s weekend up to me..pretty much. Now, when there are no plans I feel more compelled to go to the casino because that’s what I have been doing for years. Now that my husband knows that I cannot gamble period…he has been more supportive in helping plan our weekends and days off. Again it’s only been 3 weekends, and old habits are really hard to break but I’m hoping through reading on this site I can put the necessary barriers in place. It also helps that I desperately want to stop forever.
Any advice on additional barriers would be helpful. Right now I pretty much keep very little money… (A huge trigger was having a good amount of money left over after paying bills) My husband checks all accounts periodically…Technically I have access to most accounts because my name is on them, but I have never taken money from the household account to gamble and I don’t see myself ever doing that. Again if I somehow do access the account my husband will see it and then I will be removed. Like I said I truly want to quit and will do whatever it takes to stop completely.
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4 July 2014 at 6:23 pm #25500charlesModerator
Hi Steph,
“Forever” is a very scary word. Try and take things one day at a time.
Well done on the steps you are already taking. Knowledge is a powerful thing and when we think about it we usually know a lot. Our triggers, our danger times etc Use that knowledge and keep planning your weekends with other activities.
keep posting and hopefully I will see you again in a group soon.
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5 July 2014 at 4:02 am #25501Mred321Participant
sounds like you are doin great steph. I was wondering if you go to meetings? they are a great help to me. Also i would suggest taking your name off the accounts I found it best to remove the temptation. It is good your husband is helping you out. He sounds like a great husband. It is a great task to fill the time that was once taking up by gambling. just try to keep busy . Remember dont test or tempt yourself. Hope you made it another day . Remember dont punish yourself for what you did look to the future. Also thanks for reading this and remember you help all of us by letting us help you.
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5 July 2014 at 5:05 am #25502lizbeth4Participant
Hi Steph, I am glad that you found this site. It was crucial in helping me. For me the barriers were to have limited access to money and banning myself from surrounding casinos. GA meetings were a very important part of recovery for me. When I figured out what my triggers were and what to do in place of gambling that was a big key for me. You are doing great. Keep posting and reading other’s threads. One day at a time.
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7 July 2014 at 8:28 pm #25503stephtexasParticipant
Hi everyone and thanks for the supporting words of wisdom. To answer Mreds question, right now I don’t go to any GA meetings. I have found 2 that are the only ones within 50 miles. They are not very close to me, but I know where and when the meetings are held. I can’t really say why I haven’t attended one yet, but as my recovery progresses I will seek more support.
Fortunately, I haven’t had too much trouble managing urges and tomorrow will be one month since I last placed a bet.
In the near future (by the end of the year) I will have to deal with the debt I have accrued due to my gambling. Right now I am concentrating on not gambling and managing any urges.
There are so many things that I have ignored due to my gambling, so my current thoughts are about getting back on track with those responsibilities. I get overwhelmed quickly, so I have to start slowly. There are so many triggers that I’m already aware of, so I try not to let my brain go there. Really I truly would escape difficult situations by going to the casino. I always feel better if I just tackle things head-on and get past it. Thank You all for listening and supporting me. -
22 July 2014 at 4:23 pm #25504stephtexasParticipant
Its been 45 days since I last gambled. Things are going well. I have chosen not to gamble, and my husband has helped keep me on track. I’m so used to being stressed about money, and now that I don’t have to hide my debt that stress is gone. I still stress that I have the debt, but the worst was hiding it and keeping it hidden.
I’m feeling better about my recovery and I’m looking forward to it’s lasting effects. Best wishes to all. -
23 July 2014 at 6:41 pm #25505moniqueParticipant
I’m glad you have found some relief. I hope you are able to find the resources within yourself and from others, including on this site, to help you continue well.
Very best wishes,
Monique
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