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    • #51925
      603090569
      Participant

      Thought I would put it out there and hope it does something for me or helps someone else in a similar situation.

      I’ve gambled since I was 16 ultimately started light (national lottery) turned to micro stakes poker when I was 18 and did OK… Just about broke even. Where my problems started was at about 21 on slots online. For years I knew I gambled too much but I’d still get by – I didn’t earn that much money so nobody questioned if I had no money.

      Fast forward 8 years and my job’s better I take home 2k a month with bills covering around 800 of that… I started playing slots more and won a lot (26k profit over a year) – what was one of the best years of my life ultimately led to two of the worst… My biggest win was £15k in one night from a real small amount of cash… Like a lot of others – I thought I could do it again and when I lost, I’d redeposit to try and double up and claw back those losses… Even if I on a rare occasion did get back my losses and double up in my mind I’d tell myself I was willing to lose the initial deposit – so I can keep playing down to the second… From there I ignore my mind and keep spinning until I hit 0 – the vicious cycle carries on with a new deposit fully knowing I’m not likely now to withdraw unless I hit real big.

      Last year I spent 2k in a month on gambling and struggled my way through… I made sure I couldn’t do it again and installed gambling blocking software on my phone… Led to an increase in physical scratchcard buys but was worth it at least short term to limit the damage I was doing to myself.

      The gambling software lasted about 6 months before I was finding ways around it so much I’d slowly let my problem resurface and after the year I let it expire. I’ve blocked myself from a tonne of sites – but there are so so many out there it just takes an advert on TV and a new site to get me registered and up again.

      Fast forward to this month – I’ve ignored payday loan repayments I took out to hide the chunks of money gambling has cost me from my monthly pay and hit 0 in the bank 9 days after I was paid… I’m absolutely distraught and have been in tears for the best part of 3 days – almost felt angry on my last few deposits how can I keep losing but keep depositing?

      This morning I texted my family to tell them about my problem… Couldn’t do it face to face even typing it on my phone I was breaking down in tears… I have no idea what the next few months are gonna be like for me I don’t even have money for food… Anyone who sees themselves in this I can’t stress enough to stop now whilst you can.

      Everyone puts this down to an addictive personality – but I’ve always believed that to be wrong… Slots in particular are like a drug… Essentially a random number generator gamble positioned in hundreds if not thousands of different ways in “fun” formats designed to get you hooked with adrenaline every time you hit a bonus round.

      Casinos should do more to curb this behaviour as the companies profiting from this addiction and one day I hope there’s much more choice in the “responsible gambling” sections of their sites (why cant you react to multiple deposits for example and decide not to take them? Why do I only get an email questioning my gambling the day after I’ve lost all my money)

      Sorry this is an essay – just hope I get out of this OK.

    • #51926
      Steev
      Participant

      Your story really spoke to me and I wish it could be circulated more widely to show the damage that gambling can do.
      You have taken a vital step in admitting to your family that you have a problem and I hope they can find the means to help out your desperate situation.
      You also need to keep banning yourself from sites where you gamble and try to turn off ads that will try and seduce you back to it (I know easier said than done.)
      Also get good support for yourself. Consider going to Gamblers’ Anonymous – if you are in the UK there will be a meeting near you and you can find it here … https://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/
      Also you may be able to access counselling from https://www.gamcare.org.uk/ and their forums etc will also be accessible to you.
      Finally keep posting and letting us know how you are going on – I hope things soon pick up for you and you can get the gambling free life you deserve.

    • #51927
      i-did-it
      Participant

      Hi 60!
      Well done on reaching out to family .
      Perhaps one of them could hold all your bank cards and details and only give you enough cash to live on.

      It is so hard to break this addiction but people do it all the time. There is a new members group on here tonight – if you log into that you will get lots of ideas on how to stop.

      You have taken the first and very difficult step – asking for help isn’t easy .

      Keep strong 60- u can beat this .

    • #51928
      charles
      Moderator

      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #51929
      Had a bad day
      Participant

      Exactly my thoughts. When your depositing your life savings then some they treat you like a VIP. When you’re up to your eyes in debt and can’t even afford a 10p spin you suddenly become person non grata. I hate the sites that are preying on vulnerable addicts. They are no better than drug dealers and they shouldn’t get away with it.

      Hope you find support here useful. I find reading the forum daily really does help. Wishing you all the best for recovery ♥

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