[Flo3182]

I started gambling over 10 years ago, it all started with a trip to the local bingo with my mum who has been going to bingo for as long as I can remember, I started going once or twice a week with my mum to keep her company and to get out of the house as I was bored, little did I know it would be the start of the biggest regret of my life. My going to to local bingo progressed to online bingo following a free voucher we had received at our nearest club, I joined online with a view to only use the voucher but that soon turned into a 8 year on and off battle with online gambling. I remained under control at first but then got a new job to which I was working in an office on my own, when it was quiet I was so bored i would play online bingo on my breaks, the first time I deposited I won over £300, that was it, I was hooked, I spent the winnings then started to spend more to try and win back what I had lost, it got to a point that I was gambling more than I could afford and started to get into debt. I must have spent about 10k before I realised I needed to stop which I did for over 2 years, I was still going to bingo once a week with my mum which was fine as I felt I had control, i started a new job to which I was no longer in an office on my own and I was really busy so didn’t have time to think about gambling, I thought I had recovered however before long my job entailed me travelling up and down the country which meant staying in hotels on my own, bored again I started to play bingo online I even started playing roulette what a big mistake, the more I lost the more I gambled to try and win it back, I was back in a spiral of debt again, no one knows to this day I have this problem not my boyfriend or my family, I cannot bring myself to tell my mum as her ex husband was a gambler and years ago before I came along they lost their house and everything, my mum still talks about it today even though she has been married twice since then, I have even started playing online bingo at home, my boyfriend thinks I’m just looking on the internet he has no clue I am gambling, I don’t feel like I can tell him as he wouldn’t understand he has never gambled in his life, after gambling all weekend and even tonight again to try and win back losses resulting in more loses I have decided enough is enough, I have excluded myself from the online gambling sites and I have told myself I will never gamble again, been here before mind but I need to try again as I cannot cope with the misery that his disease brings

[Dunc]

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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

And on that note….

I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

Take care

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

[maverick.]

Flo, great post, very honest and you have made a massive step sharing on this site, GT is a great sight with many good people, this addicition only ever gets worse as I am sure you already well know, all I would say for now is read many posts on this site (I am sure you have already) it will help you understand you are not alone and will be suprised at how many people a fighting with this addiction, as you read the other peoples posts and shares I know you will relate to some and perhaps pick up ideas from them of what they are doing to control the addiction.

I have to shoot now as due back at work but just wanted to quickly share with you and say great effort and well done on sharing your story and how you feel its a massive step in the right direction, no mater what now you have found recovery keep it in your life, I know you want to stop because if you didnt you wouldnt be here, keep sharing and keep reading there are many helpful people around this site who would wish you nothing but a happy life and it is possible.

Take care, wish you well and all tye very best in your recovery and life.

Maverick

[Flo3182]

I have read lots of stories on here and they have definitely been an eye opener and they also helped me move forward knowing there are lots of people in the same boat. I do think that these companies could be more proactive, I requested from 2 companies that I be excluded yesterday and one hasn’t even responded yet and the other has sent me forms to fill out, that’s another day I could have easily gone back on and gambled again although I haven’t, I’m going to take every day as it comes and keep reading and posting in here as it does really help, even by just been able to express my feelings, I try and keep my mind off it but you can’t get away from it when every other advert on the tv is advertising gambling, every time I see one it reminds me of what I have done but I can only try and take the positives from it and tell myself I do not want to continue feeling that way and hopefully one day seeing them doesn’t have any affect
I don’t even enjoy gambling anymore and every day I wake up now I’m going to tell myself I am not going to gamble today

[maverick.]

Great post Flo, stay strong and keep posting, I have messed my life up for over 20 years with gambling and have lost a few hundred thousand (I never count and that is just as well as I am probably being kind to myself) but we can change and lead a happy and loving life but only when we choose not to gamble, keep posting and as always one day at a time.

Take care and speak soon

Maverick

[vera]

Just read your posts Flo.
Welcome to GT.
I’m around this Forum since 2008, and my biggest regret is that I didn’t exclude from gambling venues sooner and that I failed to follow the advice I was given initially. It takes some of us longer than others to wake up but it’s never too late.
Gambling is a progressive, insidious disease and I can tell you, from sad experience that things only go in one direction until we call a halt to our “madness”. CGS never win so chasing money means more loss/misery every time. We lose much more than money of course-pride, self esteem, relationships, health, sleep etc etc all go by the wayside as gambling takes over our lives and consumes our every thought and action.
Waiting for “official notice” to ban from those sites, is a deliberate ploy , of course . The Gambling Industry plays on the weakness of compulsive gamblers but the good news is that human beings will always be superior to machines, so use your superiority to keep a step ahead of your addiction, otherwise you will be hoodwinked into believing you can take “another shot at the title”.
The reality is, Flo, once we cross the proverbial line, there is no going back.
Kiss your losses goodbye. Dust yourself down and start over, one day at a time. Posting your thoughts and feelings is a healthy outlet and will help you to stay accountable.
Best wishes in your recovery.

[Flo3182]

Well I’ve not gambled for over a week and whilst I still feel disappointed in myself for wasting the money I have the feeling of anger and urge to chase my losses has reduced as the week has gone by, I need to keep positive, on the plus side at least I haven’t wasted more money this week
I haven’t even thought of gambling the past couple of days
It’s early days and I have been here many times before but I need to forget the past and concentrate on the future

[Flo3182]

Well after 3 weeks gamble free I relapsed this morning, joined a sports betting site just with the intention to put a small bet on the euros what happened ended up going into the casino and playing roulette again, half an hour later £150 down, how stupid, I’ve logged out of it and emailed to close my account
At least I’ve learned I need to stay completely away from any form of gambling if I’m going to beat this addiction
I need to try and forget about it and move on

[lizbeth4]

Hi Flo, It is not uncommon to relapse. Remember that you have our support here! It is good that you came back and are moving forward. Any barriers you could put into place to make it harder to gamble? Barriers have helped me. Keep posting. Best wishes!

[theone12221]

Hey flo,

That trap (I’ll just play a little bit for fun) has probably ensnared every single one of us on these forums in the past (many, many times often). Well done on not continously chasing and stopping/closing your account after a “small” loss. This is showing that you are heading in the right direction. As liz said keep your blockers up and self-exclude. You can do it.

[Flo3182]

For the positive words of encouragement, the account I opened is now closed and I have self excluded also, I am now self excluded from all major betting sites, I’m glad I lost more money as it gives me the determination to not want to go back to that horrible feeling that comes after a loss, today is a new day and I need to forget about yesterday and concentrate on today

[Author]

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