Get practical support with your gambling problem Forum Friends and Family Need help coping with son’s addiction

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  • #3203
    i-did-it
    Participant

    Hi Cathy
    I am so pleased to read about the progress your son has made.
    He has a strong supportive mum behind him.
    It’s amazing how much life can change – sometimes when it seems thing will never get better.
    You deserve to be able to enjoy his recovery . Xx

    #3204
    velvet
    Moderator

    Hey Cathy
    Please update for me, I think I have been missing some of your posts.
    Reading the previous reply on your thread, it looks as though your son is doing better but your last post in F&F was not so positive.
    Its a long battle I know. Is your son still going to GA? Are you still gong to Gam-Anon?
    Hoping to hear from you, you are in my thoughts
    Velvet

    #3205
    worriedmama
    Participant

    In spite of the distance and the fact we have never met it is still so special and kind that you keep me in your thoughts 🙂

    Life with a CG is never dull. My son has hit many rock bottoms over the past few years with myself right along with him! I finally quit being his enabler (only took me 11 years!) and finally things started getting better only after they got incredibly bad.

    He finally reached out for help and ended up in a treatment facility for addictions (not specifically gambling) for 5 weeks. The change in him is nothing short of a miracle. Looking back I feel badly that it took us so long to let him fall… maybe this wouldn’t have gone on so long BUT for whatever reason we just weren’t ready.

    He continues to really work his program and I mine. I still have lots of work to do on myself … all of this has been a huge wake up call!

    Best wishes to all… both sides of this horrible addiction!

    Cathyx

    #3206
    velvet
    Moderator

    Dear Cathy
    Taking so long for a parent to see what is in the best interest for their child could appear shocking to those who have not lived with the addiction to gamble but here we recognise that if your child owns that addiction he will do everything and anything to protect himself by hiding his torment and in doing so sadly protect his invasive and destructive addiction. As the long years pass and the child grows to be an adult, with the situation still hidden from view and unresolved, the parent can feel even more isolated and confused. I think you should be patting yourself on the back that you woke up in 11 years; it took me another 14.
    I also found that it had to get unbearably hard before it got better. If I look back, however, I still cannot see what I could have done differently – which is exactly what my son told me when he left rehab and determined to live a gamble-free life.
    I have found that working on me has been an interesting project and like you, I am still a work in progress. I do believe that the experience we have shared can be enormously productive in making all aspects of our lives better if we allow it. Successfully coming out the other side is surely a kick in the teeth for the addiction.
    I wish your son well; I am aware that my son still commits himself every day to live in control of his addiction and I trust that he will always do so. I don’t think we can ask for more.
    It was great to get an update. It is easy to keep you in my thoughts; we have a shared experience that means we understand each other regardless of distance and time.
    Velvet

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