• This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 4 years ago by lily.
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  • #5661
    Jamjam
    Participant

    Hello. My closest friend has been playing slots since he won 600$ last summer which was huge. He started depositing 30$ a day losing and winning. It was no problem back then, i had a lot of fun drinking beer with him watching him play. After summer he had a little break due to his losing. Then he started to play again at christmas. First horrible thing happened in january, when he told me he has a little debt (about 200$) he had to sell something telling himself he will buy it back soon. After this i always told him to stop gambling and when i saw him playing i told him to withdraw it right away. I wish i could have done more, but i dont have the time to look after him all the time. In february and march he won big again, had like 1000$ profit. I told him hundreds of times to stop gambling for gods sake, telling him you will lose it all. He always told me that he thinks im right and he should stop. One day, he suddenly he came to me and told me to never gamble. He told me he has thousands of dollars in debt and hes a student with no job. He knows he needs help and this time i saw it from his eyes that he was dead serious. It totally ruined my day and i cant think anything but that. I have my own things to be stressed and now im depressed knowing that. Theres nothing i can do, im studying also and the money i have are just enough to keep food on my table and make my studying go forward. Im still not sure if he has stopped gambling, but im pretty sure he has. He’s not a guy whos easy to talk with about that thing without him getting angry. What should i do? I really dont know what he’s thinking and its also making me feel so bad im sad all the time.

    #5662
    velvet
    Moderator

    Hello Jamjam and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

    Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

    Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

    As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)

    And on that note….

    I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

    Take care

    The Gambling Therapy Team

    PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    #5663
    lily
    Participant

    I am sorry you haven’t had any replies yet, the forum has been very quiet this week but hopefully I will be able to give you some support.

    Your friend is fortunate to have such a caring friend but it is important that you take care of yourself and don’t make yourself sick with worry. Do you have someone to talk to or is there a student counselor or similar you could talk to about your concerns?

    Things you can do for your friend are:

    Do not give him money or bail him out. This is called ennoblement this is when someone acts as a cushion between the person and the consequences of their addiction so that they do not feel the full consequences of their addiction and the desire to get help wains.

    Listen to him and his issues but do not get bogged down by it or ask too many questions, let him get there himself rather than cajole.

    Do not accompany him gambling, insttead try and encourage him to do something fun elsewhere, other interests can help them see there is a life away from gambling.

    Most importantly take care of you, seeing you seek help for your own issues will be a great example and help you deal with whatever life throws at you.

    Keep posting, it might take a little while to get a reply sometimes but there is always someone to listen.

    Lily x

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