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    • #27588
      Imdonewiththis
      Participant

      Hi everyone I find this addiction so hard to understand how it takes over all your sense of guilt,logic,reality its like your under a spell or hypnotised the voice to push on no matter how big the loss seems to over ride the thought of stopping!there is just no reasoning!? For me personally I know what I’m doing is wrong but I convince myself other wise while in the process of gambling! It’s the aftermath that stings and hits you hard but then you return once again why? It don’t make sense I know that’s why they call it an addiction but knowing how you feel after why do I do it? This is the question I ask myself! I love my family more than anything in the world and this is what hurts the most the guilt of the the betrayal to them! I ask myself why do I gamble and the reason I come up with is not that i am greedy because its not about the money really is it? But I think it’s because I’m so very lonely! I am done with this destruction I don’t want to gamble truth is I never really have wanted to its just that little niggle of a voice that pops into my head when I’m sitting alone saying I’m bored I’m lonely what shall I do? I know £20 won’t hurt to play a slot game to pass the time then before i know £20 has turned into £300 and so on! I’m in debt which is ridiculous because now I’m not just lonely but broke as well as! I hate deceiving my family it makes me feel like such a bad vile person especially as I know how much they have done and do for me! But it’s never to late and this is why I’m here.! I’m done with gambling and everytime I feel lonely or think what can I do to pass the time I will come on here instead! I know I’m not a bad person and I want to stop before my problem esculates and effects others! So gambling I’m giving you the 2 fingers I do not need nor want you in my life you do not fill a void in my life you just make it bigger!!!!! So many times I have lay my head down on my pillow thinking no more and working out if I have enough money to ‘get by’ I’m 29 single and have no children I work full time but I’m currently off work as I had an op! Christmas is coming and I gambled £130 tonight even though I’m in my overdraft my reasoning for doing this was I wanted to get my family nice gifts for Christmas do you think I won? You guessed right no I didn’t and even if I had I would of continued until there was nothing so I’d still be writing the same thing now! Why do I do it? It has got me down so much I have had those dark thoughts but I’m to much of a coward to ever follow them up and also the fact that I could not destroy my family in such a way but can still be selfish enough to continue with my gambling! What do I do how do I stop sometimes I’m gambling and don’t even realise it until after like a haze does any one experience this? Sorry to go on I’m just so fed up with it all and fed up of being one massive hypocrite!! Thanks for listening! X

    • #27589
      janey1
      Participant

      <

      Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team


      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
      privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #27590
      Imdonewiththis
      Participant

      Hi Janet,
      Thanks for your kind words,
      So it’s the morning after and I feel like I knew I would a horrid person! I never want to go on an online site again I’m not stupid I know these places are designed to cash in and your ultimately destined to loose any which way you look at it! Loose in every sense not just money but your self respect! I ask if I’m a fairly intelligent person and I know all of this then why do I still do it? Madness! You know what makes me laugh Jeremy Kyle on tv was once a problem gambler and knows what destruction it can do then I ask you this why let a major bingo show sponsor your show and advertise right before you show starts and on every ad break? Just a little observation silly i know! Not gambled today and I don’t want to just feel angry with myself! How Is everyone else feeling today? X

    • #27591
      icandothis
      Participant

      Hello, I’m done. I just wanted to welcome you to the site. I have to keep this short, but we all can relate to how you are feeling today. Those day after’s. I have had more Day 1’s than I would like to admit. Hang in there.
      Keep posting and you will get lots of good advice.
      I am not the best at giving advice, except take it one day at a time. Get through today any way you can without gambling. As difficult as it is, let yesterday go. Then get up tomorrow and do the same thing. Someone very wise said that the days will add up. He was right. They do. This day after will turn into a week after and then a month after and so on.
      Our thoughts and prayers are with you today. Finding this site and posting is a very good way to start day 1 of your recovery journey!

    • #27592
      Imdonewiththis
      Participant

      Hi can many thanks for your reply much appreciated, not gambled today although saying that my problem isn’t a daily one it tends to be payday or times when I’m alone and bored, so I have bursts of it but loose a large amount all in one go then struggle until the next pay day and so on! I’m on my own at the moment so thought I’d check in here! I don’t feel sorry for myself just angry as I don’t understand why I do it! It just doesn’t make sense which is highly frustrating! How long did you have your problem and are you in recovery? One day at a time is the best approach I’m sure but I’m hopeful as I’m trying to make the right steps! Again thanks for taking the time to reply to me ! Hopefully I can put these difficult times behind me! X

    • #27593
      icandothis
      Participant

      Hi I’m Done,
      Just wrote to you and lost it! My new computer is very touchy!
      You ask two very good questions. My answer to both are interrelated. I have been gambling for over a decade. I think it became a problem shortly after I started. I believe that my recovery began when I realized that my gambling was a problem. But I think it kind of started without me at that point. It really began when I admitted to myself and to others that in fact gambling was a problem for me. Realizing you have a problem is a start but it is different than admitting that you are powerless over it. If given the opportunity, it will always have more control over my behavior than I do. So, I would say that I am in recovery and that is something I will never take for granted. It is something I work at and at the same time it is a gift. I will never not be in recovery.
      Don’t mind me. Sometimes I ramble on other people’s threads. I mean well. lol
      Stay hopeful. Hope is a good thing!
      I like our how our two names work together.
      We are done with this (gambling and all the crap that goes with it) and We can do this (recovery and all the benefits that go with it)

    • #27594
      Imdonewiththis
      Participant

      Hi can I thought the same about our names lol great minds and all that lol

      I ramble to so another thing we have in common lol

      I do appreciate that once in recovery always in recovery like any addiction I suppose Hun,

      I’m under no illusion how hard this will be but I’m prepared to do what it takes I’ve recognised some of my triggers boredom and loneliness and around the time I tend to think oh it won’t hurt once behaviour so hopefully this is beneficial in avoiding it!?
      What do you find helps you can?
      Again your reply is appreciated so thankYou very much 🙂 x

    • #27595
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Hi Imdone,
      Well done on starting a thread here. I know what you mean About not gambling every night, but then managing to ruin your whole month in one night. This has been The cycle I Too have been stuck in. I strongly advise the you purchase a gambling block for your computer, like gamlock. It will save you so much money and stress. Have it in place before payday!!
      It’s hard to stop .. Really hard Imdone.. But lots of people in here have succeeded. Try to make it to the groups .. They really help.. I have always thought the same about Jeremy Kyle and those ads.. It just seems wrong to me.

      Hang in there Imdone . Put as many barriers in place as you can so that even if u get the urge on payday You can’t gamble!! Do it. Now.. While you are feeling strong..u will be so glad u did!!

    • #27596
      Imdonewiththis
      Participant

      Hi sad many thanks for your reply and advice,
      It’s day 3 and I have not gambled but as mentioned my habit is not a daily one but the true tester will be this time next month, having said that I am still happy about the fact I’m coming on here and trying to make the right steps as I know longer want this destructive force In my life I lay in bed last night realising just how bad and out of control things had got for me that realisation in itself is a scary thing, how I chose to spend hours on an online slot instead of spending with my family or friends, how I could not go to social outings as ‘I have no money’, how I’ve been unable to treat myself to a nice top or pair of shoes like I used to! That’s not living that’s existing! The only way I can receive help is by helping myself! Gambling is a nasty addiction and effects every aspect of a gamblers life not just financial but emotional,physical,socially and turns you into a lier! Luckily for me it did not make me in to a thief or make me commit a crime but its a very slippery road once you are on it! Trying to express my feelings in here and I feel it’s helping to actually see my own opinions in black and white and put things into context and perspective! Again 2 fingers to gambling that is very nearly costing me all I hold dear well I’m sorry your not winning you are not my world my be and end all my family on the other hand is!!!!

    • #27597
      Imdonewiththis
      Participant

      True tester coming PAYDAY! Will let you all how I get on but determined to get through this!!! Christmas means gifts for family much rather treat them then throw in some greedy mans pocket! Just want to share so I change my pattern and habits! X

    • #27598
      Imdonewiththis
      Participant

      Really got the urge keep justifying in my mind! Not going to though! X

    • #27599
      Anonymous
      Guest

      Hi Imdone ,yes payday is difficult. On chat someone worked out that I only gambled for two days in eleven weeks . But that two days cost me the carefree Christmas I was looking forward to. It will be the usual watching every penny.
      I suppose what I’m saying is resist the feeling that there is money in the bank Imdone , and that you’ll only gamble a small amount, and you might win. In a few weeks you will have things you have worked for like a nice new outfit for Christmas, presents for family that you enjoy giving. Spend your money on you.. Single and 29 with a wage coming in …you could be having a ball building up a great social life. Don’t do it. We all think we can stop after a few quid. We all find we can’t . Resist one second at a time. If you are gambling online treat yourself to one thing as an early Xmas present.. A gambling block for your computer/ phone etc!! Keep posting!!

    • #27600
      Imdonewiththis
      Participant

      Thanks sad I find your advice very helpful Hun, still not gambled and excluded myself from every site possible! I have an iPhone and stupidly there’s no block I can find for them ridiculous! So with that said I am bearing in mind exactly the points you have made I’d rather spoil my family rotten then throw down the drain which is what you might aswell do when gambling! Payday has come and I’m trying to keep myself busy and occupied any urges I will come on here! Hope your well and doing good! X

    • #27601
      Imdonewiththis
      Participant

      So many ads on the tv switch them over as they start putting ideas in my head! On a positive note almost done all my crimbo shopping well organised this year lol brought myself a christmas outfit to sad! Saving the rest for a good knees up with work! So no gambling for me! 🙂 x

    • #27602
      charles
      Moderator

      Hi Imdonewiththis,

      If you can’t get a blocker for your phone maybe talk to your phone provider – see if you can get some sort of “parental block” on it to ban over 18 sites, this should include gambling sites.

      You mention family – do they know about your gambling? Or that it is a problem? Could one of them help you with financial accountability? These days with online banking it’s easy to be accountable, KNOWING that you will be found out is a good deterrent.

      Keep posting and let us know what positive steps you are taking.

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