[jeggert]

Hello, I don’t really know how to start this journey, so I guess I’ll start with why I’m here. I got caught up in online sports card breaks and razzes 2 years ago. If you aren’t familiar, don’t look them up, it’s too easy to be enticed. Although sports cards were the face of the activity, money was always the driving factor. If you happened to be the winner of a razz, you always had the option of taking a cash prize oppose to the card itself. In breaks, although cards were the only prize, the driving force was the possibility of hitting a card worth thousands of dollars. I saw people do it all the time, so it pushed me to want it more.

I was spending about $1,500 a month for a good 10 months, $15,000 in total without my wife knowing. She eventually found out and was very upset, she wanted to divorce. It wasn’t about the money as much as it was about the lies and secretiveness of it. I promised to not do it again, and I was able to stop. About 4 months later I wanted to sell some of the cards I had and the easiest way to do so was by hosting a razz that I mentioned above. This enticed me back into these social media sites that the razzes and breaks are run. I sold cards, but turned right around and participated in the gambling again. Not only did I spend the money I got from sales, but I maxed out credit cards, again.

My wife doesn’t know I have gone back to this activity. I also bet on sports, but that was never as bad as the other activity. After maxing out my credit cards, which my wife thought were paid off, I decided to stop paying on them out of fear she would wonder why I’m making credit card payments to cards that don’t have a balance. I told myself something will eventually happen where I can just pay the 5k debt off and reestablish my credit, that still hasnt happened. I’ve been pretty good at staying away from the razzes and breaks for the past 6 months, but have bet on sports in that time frame. Not heavily, but periodically. I didn’t have a way to fund the addiction with maxed out credit cards and my wife and I having a joint checking account, which was good.

Then this past week I sold a card for $5,000. I immediately lost $900 on sports betting by using some of the cash at a local sports book.

Last night my wife and I were having an argument about finances. She has been asking to handle the bills for a year now ever since she found out this was originally going on and I have avoided it. I wanted to continue to handle the bills so I could pay off my debt, in secret, but that never happened. She has also been asking for me to sell cards to get money, she was under the impression I had quite a few valuable ones, but I had sold them all, except 1, when I relapsed into this late last year. I sold them all and then lost the money. So me ignoring her request to handle bills, and not selling cards, has lead to her being fed up and know something is going on.

Back to last night, while arguing about bills, she said she wants to see my credit report. It will show her that I have the 5k in credit card debt, and haven’t been making payments towards it. She said if I don’t show her, she is leaving with the kids and filing for divorce.

I don’t know what to do. I’m going to show her, but I don’t know what to do as far as fixing this. I don’t crave gambling if I’m not exposed to it. So I have left all the social media groups and closed my sportsbook account with the local casino. I have come to realize I have an addiction and it’s a serious problem. I’ve broken all trust with my wife and I don’t know what’s going to happen when I have to tell her this. In a way, I’m glad she asked for the credit report because now I can start this recovery journey. I was speaking to a live rep earlier and he mentioned it’s too easy to gamble when no one knows about it, basically saying don’t beat yourself up for not coming clean on your own, it’s an addiction.

With all that said, I am mainly seeking advice on how to address the situation with my wife, I already know I need to start the recovery journey, whether she stays with me or not, but really hoping she does.

[charles]

Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums. By posting to the forums you’re allowing the diverse and caring Gambling Therapy community to help support you through the difficulties you’re facing.

This may well be a tough time for you – particularly if you’re new to recovery, so we encourage you to post here as often as you need to, as well as making use of the online groups and the live advice helpline if you’d like some one-to-one support. We’re all in this together! If you’re a new member, you are warmly invited to join Charles in one of the New Members Practical Advice groups (Mondays at 21:00 UK Time and Thursdays at 19:00 UK Time).

The forum is a great place to share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. By writing it all down you can start to build a record of your progress that you can look back on – particularly useful if you’re ever feeling stuck. Share as much or as little as you like – but you’re encouraged to stick to keeping to just one thread in this forum – so people know where to find you to check in on your progress or to share something with you.

The Gambling Therapy staff team don’t generally post to the forums as it is a peer support area of the site – so we’ll hand you over to the community from here.

Take care,

The Gambling Therapy Team

PS. Please take a moment to review our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works.

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