21 June 2013 at 3:52 pm #9502supermum83Participant
Thank you to anyone who takes time to read this.
I am a 30 year old lady, with a massive gambling problem. I have racked up so much debt that I can barely afford to live on my wage 🙁 I only ever gamble on line (roulette and slots only) and I tend to have bouts of gambling, each time I try to put up barriers to stop myself doing it again and usually I’m fine for a few weeks/months but then something will trigger me and I’m back again, the thing is when I have these bouts it usually lasts for a few days and in those few days I usually go bonkers and just deposit after deposit (and I’m talking £100’s a time) its like I can’t help myself and then I finally accept my money is lost and I promise to myself I’ll never to it again. And do the cycle continues.
This has been going on for about 6 years and I’ve had enough. I managed to put a stop to it previously by putting a block on my laptop and I did go for probably 1.5 years without but that was purely because I had no access, I now have an iPhone and I am back to square 1 again and am in a massive mess financially. I can’t find any way of blocking gaming sites on my iPhone, I know this is the best way for me to stop as I’ll have no temptation.
I feel like this has dragged me down for so long and it is making me feel like such a bad person. I am fed up of all the lies, always having to explain why I’m in debt and have no money. I have not told my partner or anyone about this problem and do not want to, so really this is my way of venting on here.
The worse thing for me is that I wiped all my debt when I was pregnant 18 months ago and now I am back to that point again, it was supposed to be a fresh start for me but I got my iPhone when my son was a few weeks old and it has been down hill since then and when I think about that it makes me so sad. I now have no way of paying back my debt and will have to struggle for 4 years to be debt free, which makes me feel awful thinking about all the things my wonderful boy will miss out on due to my stupidity. Infact, I am wondering why I have used the name Supermum when I feel like a terrible mother.
Anyway, I plan on not gambling again, I know I can do it because I have done before but I thought I would use this forum to help me along the way.
Thanks for listening and sorry for the long post!
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