12 January 2022 at 4:11 pm #146698itreallysucksParticipant
This is my first post. I sit here writing as i feel like crap. I am out of control. Today i lost 20,000 which actually came from the 17000 i lost yesterday then wont it back. I went to bed knowing i would not gamble again. Of course today, that 20,000 (online gambling) in my mind it was ok if it went to 15k still great right? well maybe 12k 10k 8k oh well worthless now 5k till, yep left with zero.
I have been privlidged, working all my life. Government job. Never needed for anything but had no excessive amount. Two children. After retiring i began a very successful business, starting with only myself and increasing to 15 employees. Every penny was spent in gambling, I cannot even fathom to think of how much.
Bored with that after 12 years, i have recently started a travel and tourism operation, which is booming. I am spending money to the last dollar.
I have built and sold 5 houses. Profit on each 40k. Every penny gone. in addition to the winnings above.
Only 10 months ago i won 140k online ( over a period of 2 months) I swore i would never gamble again. I had at least won back some of my losses, and it certainly put me in a positive mark on my banking. Pay off what i ran up in credit cards and still 60k left over perfect. In my mind i knew, never again, i was somewhere i hadnt been in a long time. Well, i gave back the entire 140k plus another 100k in less than a year
i feel guilt. shame. i think of how my children could have used that money, but instead i was selfish, choosing my thrill of the chase over helping them. I feel terrible about that.
i do not know how to stop, and i just needed to get this off my chest.
12 January 2022 at 4:11 pm #146733DuncKeymaster
Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
The Gambling Therapy Team
13 January 2022 at 8:28 am #146762ujju197Participant
Welcome to the GT Family.
I am still in recovery and that too in Initial Stage, but I have few words for you.
– Believe in God and bring in some prayer schedule/Meditation in your daily routine
– Take Minute by Minute / Hour By Hour / Day By Day (Stay Away from the first bet/deposit)
– Don’t ever think about recovering your losses through gambling or any other shortcut (pass on your passwords to your loved one/or put a blocker to all this)
– There can be moment when you will be unable to control yourself with stress or Anxiety, so talk to your friends or with us here.
– The journey to recovery is really tough, so please stay positive…don’t let the first guard go down.
GT family, is always a message away to be with you.
16 January 2022 at 10:17 am #146902G RecParticipant
Welcome to the forum and well done on taking a positive step recognising the issue and seeking help.
As Dunc mentioned there are new member’s groups on Mondays and Thursdays. I found these extremely useful when I first started posting, and would strongly recommend giving them a go, here Charles will provide some great advice and next steps that can be taken to help reduce the chances of going back to betting.
Regular posting can also be helpful, how have things been since your first post?
18 January 2022 at 9:21 am #146925jvr3419Participant
Hi I just wanted to write you as today was my first post to. I’ve been in other addiction support groups for the last 10 years and no how valuable it is to start somewhere talking with other like minded individuals. I to feel everything you do as I just recently started this journey to heal from gambling. I hope you can find some comfort knowing your not alone ive to done exactly the same things as you. The hardest part is being someone who had alot of money and now nothing to show. I’ve always had money from hard work and some help along the way and to just blow it away is devastating. One thing I was recently told though is we don’t choose to be this way addiction happens I’ve been addicted to everything under the sun and I’ve manged to dig myself out of everyone of those things now I have this one to as well. I no its possible to see a light at the end of the tunnel but right now we just need a bigger flashlight. The triggers are the hardest as I’m feeling them to hugely but as I’ve learned being sober for 10 years from substances is you gotta talk about what’s going on. That’s where I fd up with the gambling I stopped talking and hid everything I was going through and now here I am. So if you can learn from me talk and never stop talking about what eating up inside.
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