I was caught in a lie today and the disappointment in my wife’s face was crushing, her not speaking to me even worse. I like to gamble to pass the time. I never do much $40 here, $60 there, but it adds up. I don’t play poker or tables, I just sit at my penny slots and watch the hours pass. I can be up a few dollars or a few hundred and I just keep increasing my bet to win more. I keep waiting for that BIG win, even though the win is never big enough. In May I will be a mother and I don’t want this to affect my childs life, I don’t want to be the reason he or she can not have the best I can provide because I wasted it all away. I just don’t know how to stop. My family they all gamble, my parents are the worst, and I never realized what a problem it was until today. Until when I got caught in a lie about going to the casino made me feel like the most horrible person to walk this planet. I know there are other people out there like me, and I just want to know how to stop. How do I stop buying lottery tickets hoping it will give me a few dollars for the casino. How do I stop when I am home alone from getting in the car and driving 15 minutes to go to the casino. I don’t want to go to Gamblers Anonomous, I am not religious and I don’t want to take 12 steps to get better. I just want to know how everyone else deals with the urges and overcomes.