Hi I am new to the forum and also new to talking about this problem.
My husband gambles online. I have known for a few years having noticed on bank statements and confronted him. He has first said it go out of control and he doesn’t do it that often. I have come across a few statements showing more gambling over the last year or two and he always says the same we have gone from blaming me, to it’s not that bad, to I need help. I sat with him and deleted accounts, he reinstated them. I gave ‘permission’ for £20 every pay day but that soon became more behind my back. I have asked him to get help, added the sums and tried to show him he has a problem. He does agree but i think just to pacify me as it soon changes to ‘It’s my money I earn it, bills are paid what’s the problem? In truth yes bills are paid, but i pay most of them, we live and it doesnt impact on us too much really. There are no huge debts due to him gambling but there are some now as I have struggled to pay most I the bills alone, thinking his money was all spent out on rent, other bills and general living. I manage on just £150 a week to buy food and pay basic utility bills.
There has been the occasional dip into our savings to bail himself out but then we all have months like that dont we? When we overspend or a large bill comes in?? I know I have an I don’t gamble!
However, it seems that this has been out I control for some time. He finally admitted to me last week that he needs help. His latest bank statement showed over £1000 was paid out (with 800 winnings, that’s how he justifies it!)
He has told me he has sought help from a counsellor for addiction and needs my support. I am finding it tough to trust him, he has already cheated on me with other women and I feel a mug for staying. We have 3 children.
I just wanted to get my story out and hope that someone may be out there in a similar position to give me some hope??