My topic is opening the wound. Recovery had challenged me to reopen old wounds. Counseling is encouraging me to talk about life situations from the past which are very painful to reveal. I’ve been remembering/feeling/processing deeply in the evening and early morning. I sometimes feel physically sick and often feel overwhelmed and drained. In a few days I must go to another counseling session. I’m wanting to run away from the pain. Although my greatest wish is to re-enter life with new hope, joy and a rekindling of old dreams that yet may be possible.
It seems to me at this time that there is so so much information from the past that has piled up that counseling could never get to every detail. Yet, I’m trying to tell the counselor as much as I can so that the therapy will be most benificial. I’m wondering how to monitor the sessions so as not to feel unnecessary pains. Perhaps revealing things that I feel resolved about is not healthy. It’s hard to choose what to do and say. I hope that this counselor is professional and skilled enough to work with what is coming forth. I’ve often felt lost and abandoned with counseling that didn’t fit.
Opening the wounds, cleaning them out, healing. I want this for myself. But I also really need practical advise on life directions in career, relationship etc. Putting the pieces back together after addiction…compulsive gambling. And then there is the gambling itself. Since the counsel is supposed to be about gambling addiciton she and I will be using a workbook and format that is prescribed.
I write all of this in hopes that someone will understand my process and perhaps have some wisdom from experience to share about how they dealt with reopening wounds through the recovery process.
Thank-YOU.In relating to others, when your need for armor/protection becomes greater than your ability to use your tools/skills for communication, it's time to retreat and protect yourself even though it may be hard.