22 July 2011 at 6:42 am #2533witsendParticipant
This is my first post… guess I need to vent.
Because I’m over it. I want to leave but I don’t have the guts.
Basic run down of my situation: We’ve been together for six years ( since I was 18 and I’m about to turn 25).
He has three kids from a previous relationship. I met him when his twin boys were 18 months old and his daughter was
just 6 weeks old. Their mother abandoned them into his care shortly after we met and she still has zero contact with them to this day. The kids are six and seven now and I’m their mum. In every sense.
So the gambling. I remember when we first met he said something about how he stays away from the pokie machines because he liked them too much. I never thought it would end up being such a huge problem.
Because of his gambling he won’t declare us as a couple to the government… he gets about $1300 in ‘single parent’ benefits.
Every fortnight, that is. His own father deposits $100 into his account every week and he makes about $150 a week from sporadic work that he gets. So altogether he makes $900 a week. I make about $700 working about 50 hours a week!
I keep my money separate… sort of. I pay electricity, cable tv, all groceries and extra tutoring for the boys. He pays rent and child care. I think, seeing as he only works Thursday nights and Saturday mornings…. there is no reason for a child care bill!
So, to stop telling my life story and get down to the nitty gritty…
I feel psycho because I go through his bank statements, his wallet and his pants pocket. It would be nice to be disappointed but I always find something. He’s spent $1100 in the past thirteen days on pokies. He lies about where he’s been constantly. I’ve stopped questioning it… I hate the fights. He says he’ll be home in twenty minutes but that turns into two hours. If I question where he’s been he just avoids answering… its like pulling teeth.
This scenario happened last week:
Me-Where have you been? I was expecting you two hours ago…
M- so where were you? you weren’t answering your phone…
H- yes I was held up while I was out.
M- out where?
H – oh, just went into town
M- what were you doing there?
H – I had to pay some bills (he mysteriously has a lot of bills that he has to duck out and pay!)
M- you mean rent?
H- yeah, rent
M- but the real estate shut an hour and a half ago…
H- well, then I decided to grab a burger.
M- why would you grab a burger?! It’s dinner time and I’ve already cooked! You knew I was making a roast tonight…
H- *getting angry* because I was hungry! God! I should be able to eat what I want. Now I’m not even allowed to eat?!
At that point he walks away and I don’t want an argument, so I leave it alone.
Upon a wallet inspection I see he just lost $200
So hard sometimes.
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