Gambling Therapy logo
Viewing 4 reply threads
  • Author
    • #28219

      Hi new to this, I am a compulsive gambler in recovery and want to put my story out there in the hope that someone that is just starting to get into gambling reads my story and stops it was the worst path i could of ever turned down.

      I was raised in central England by my christian parents-my farther has had drinking problems and enjoys a bet in moderation now but was a big problem back in the day,my mothers farther was a compulsive gambler(my gran-dad) who would often work agonizing hours and do the lot on payday which was on a Friday.

      I was a keen footballer(soccer) growing up it was my life i used to eat live breathe bleed laugh and cry football!! SIDE NOTE i was aware of gambling from a young age as often if i needed money i would go to the local aitkins to find my dad and get some money, i placed my first bet at 14 at the local Dones bookmaker round the corner from school it was Lennox Lewis to beat Tyson in round 8 i put my £2.50 dinner money on it this led to me offering a pools/accumulator bet every Friday to my fellow pupils i would pick 6 teams and everyone what put a pound in and the person who got the lot right would take the pot if no one guessed right the pot was mine(needless to say no one ever won the pot)…many professional gamblers start there story like this but my story goes to the opposite end of the spectrum. I was part of a good semi pro team through my teens,often attracting scouts of major premiership clubs but for one reason or another it never worked out and i ended up learning my trade in a third tier pro club, after the summer pre season i was offered a better deal with a third tier club…in London a place i always wanted to live in obviously i snapped it up.

      I trained every day and went to college…i had always had an eye for the ladies and my college was next door to a beauty school so needless to say it didn’t take me long to get into trouble at college for missing or being late to lessons due to “personal problems”,one of the girls i used to date is now a model and lives in Bermuda,Another a big hedge fund manager, lawyer, accountant the list goes on plus some are on the dole(i didn’t discriminate everybody needed some love) looking back now me even more than any of those girls.

      I started casually betting on champions league matches after i saw Real Madrid were 2/1 to win away from home i couldn’t believe it and put my whole weeks wages on they won 3-0 i was a gambling genius!!

      Obviously the need to gamble got more and more urgent but then i found a girl from the north of England on a night out and i instantly fell in love(what i thought was love we have all been 16 before)this girl was sent from Lucifer i am sure,she would request me to visit her at weekends so i would fake injuries and pretend to be homesick to go and see her instead of playing then i would come back on Monday and womanize til Friday with “southern belles” i would only have the occasional four fold or treble during this time.

      The time came when i found out this so called love of my life had a boyfriend all a long…i felt awful! even though i had other women on the side i was just doing what footballers do.
      After a week or so of listening to R Kellys if i could turn back the hands of time and various Motown classics i decided bollocks to this i am going to get stuck into training and make something out of this football game, for the next 6 months i was the best player,trainer and person you could meet,i was destroying teams on the pitch single handily. I had scouts attending every game 3 clubs looking were Chelsea,Villa and man utd(may i add now that the guy who was my cover now plays in the usa in the mls for 10k a game)

      I got invited to train in the west midlands after impressing in a youth team game i was offered an instant deal i signed and left the club to deal with my old club….this was it i had made it!

      i started well but started seeing “devil girl” again after a few months of her silly requests i decided enough was enough and ended it and then got bang into gambling i bet a weeks wage on trap 3 after training it hosed up at 5/2 and that was it i was in the bookies every afternoon for a year(i was probably up that first year i had good and bad days but would certainly of been in profit)Then it all went tits up i saw a friend win £500 in one spin of the roulette machine in the bookies or fobts as the media like to call them i decided i will have a go as i loaded the first score in the cashier shrieked”what are you doing don’t play those please don’t”
      i thought shut the fuck up who are you talking too(if only i had listened to her) I lost a grand that day went back the next and lost another 500 i thought bollocks to this i’m a horse man and place a 250 each way bet on maids causeway it pissed it at 13/2.

      i waited for my money collected it went over to pub had a beer and thought i’ve made it all this money game tonight and a blonde to meet on the sly after the game

      i played 35 mins and got took off as i just wasn’t with it i said i was injured had a shower and fucked off little did i know that was my last proper football action.Next day as soon as the bookies were open i put on my favorite bet a four fold £250 stake
      then i thought those machines owe be some money(within an hour i didn’t have a penny left) i had to walk home from the city center an hour walk oh the shame…not quite on the walk home my phone rang it was my club saying there paying up my contract and releasing me that was it finished before i was 20 and fuck all to show for it…hold on they are gonna pay me out my contract.

      Over the next few years i made that walk at least once a month however i still had my money from the club in a high interest savings account earning a fortune i could just use that to start a business and become a millionaire!did i fuck!! The truth is the money lasted 2 months maximum!!

      Since then i have had various shit jobs to get some money together and then opened business after business each one was successful but all had one flaw in common… a compulsive gambler as the boss! whenever i got back and my feet i would self destruct and gamble every thing i had binge gambling over a few days.i could go months without gambling but then when i got an impulse to gamble i would do whatever money i had in a few days.

      Several jobs later and no signs off making a comeback, i decided to turn my hand to brokering illicit drugs…i was never it to drugs growing up or playing football they absolutely disgusted me especially the scum that sell it yet i had turned into scum myself whatever money i made i fed into the roulette machine or frittered away at the casino!until one fateful night i had 3 masked men burst in to my house and take a safe full of money that wasn’t even mine…the next year involved commercially growing cannabis to pay the money back even then i was still feeding my habit with half the money from my illegal activity and only pay half as much as i should of been on the debt.

      Finally i was out of debt and had a nice car sales business set up but you guessed it i span that a way on the devils wheel.

      Luckily for me my Mrs has stood by me and i am trying to stay off the bet as i have a young son who worships me and i would hate for him to end out like me,i currently work in a well known supermarket for minimum wage a far cry from a promising football career.

      I have done my sums and think i have gambled over £1250000 that’s £1.25m yet i can not ever remember having more than £10k in cash at any one time. Gambling really is a ridiculously selfish habit and i now let me family suffer on a daily basis because of my stupidity and greed. I am forced to look in the mirror day in day out and all i see is a fool looking back at me.

      I write this not for pity just in the hope that it might save one person.

      I will continue to write my memoirs and everyday battles on here as and when i can.

      I am currently a few months gamble free but i battle everyday with myself not to gamble i would say each day is harder than the last.

    • #28220

      Hi and welcome to GT. Just read through your whole story. Shocking absolutely shocking and excruciatingly painful to read! Even more shocking I identify so closely with almost every word you wrote. I was not a footballer and have not done the drugs but in every other way so similar. High rapid climb to the top and then smash it ends with zero left to show.

      It is a brave post you have shared. You are taking steps to reclaim your life. You can and I suspect will rebuild but can never do this while you gamble. I am still taking on board what you wrote!!!

      All the best and welcome again I look forward to you sharing more of what you have gone through. Truly horrendous and yet here you are. Kudos for that!!!!!

    • #28221

      i hope it was shocking and painful in a good way ie it made a decent read.i am no writer but would like to get my memories together and maybe one day get them all together.i have plenty of horrifing stories which i will update over the coming weeks.Times are very hard for me at the moment but i have bounced back so many times i must take hope from my past even though i have been a bloody prat i have always made a comeback! the way gambling takes over is a very sick process but hopefully writing about it will aid the healing.i struggle everyday to not gamble and still think that one decent win is around the corner and i will get it all back…too long in the tooth to belive it!! whats was your choice of gambling john if you dont mind me asking?

    • #28222


      Hello Whatif and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums

      Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!

      Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.

      And on that note….

      I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂

      Take care

      The Gambling Therapy Team

      PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our
      privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!

    • #28223

      Hi yes decent read worry not on that. I think its good you are here facing your problem and your addiction. Proven time and time again to destroy anything and everything we build.

      For me my gambling the past decade has been almost exclusive to online casinos. No method no system just blind pointless mad bets. I was never a success at gambling. I can count on my hand the times I won big. I lost count of the other times I lose huge long ago. It cost me everything. My business home like the lot. But here we are!!!

Viewing 4 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.